Page 130 of My Turn

“But I should’ve known you wouldn’t hurt each other. You love her and she loves you.”

“Sometimes, people still hurt each other, love or no love.” With a sigh, I tucked her hair behind her ears. “You’re not little, so I’m not going to lie to you. That’s not how our relationship works. I was mad. I still am mad and part of me wants to direct that at you. But I can’t.”

A tear made a path down her cheek. “Why not?”

“Because you’re my niece. Genetically, you’re basically my own kid. And you’re nine.”

“And three quarters.”

I breathed a laugh. “Yeah, exactly. You were scared and I know that you didn’t want either of us to get hurt.”

A little sob shook her shoulders. “I didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Not after… mom… and Jake. But now Alana-”

I shushed her. “Alana will be just fine. You’ve already lost a lot. Let’s not add guilt to your list of issues to deal with, okay?” Straightening, I nodded toward the door. “You need to go home before your grandparents start freaking out.”

“Can I stay?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to be here when she wakes up. She needs some flowers.”

“You’re probably right. What’s your favorite color?”

“Green,” she answered immediately.

“Alright, when the shop opens downstairs, we can go see if they have any green ones. Hydrangeas, maybe.”

She nodded excitedly. I stared at her for another minute, trying to figure out what to say.

“Alicia…” I took a deep breath. “What happened to your dad…”

“You told Alana that he was dangerous. If you were protecting her, that makes it okay, right?”

“I mean, no?” Thinning my lips, I thought about a better way to answer. “It’s complicated. Maybe we can talk about it when you’re a little older.”

She looked at Alana again. “What do those weird, glass coffins do? The ones in your basement.”

“They… Immortalize someone. After they die.”

“Will you teach me?”

“Teach you what?”

“How to immortalize someone. Then, if I lose anybody else, I can do the same thing.”

Hm. This was… fucked up. Alicia knew that I killed Jake and Mike already. If she wasn’t running for the hills and screaming already, maybe she could handle it. I shouldn’t do anything like this, but it seemed less twisted than everything else in a weird way.

Was I going to teach my niece how to biodegrade a body? Possibly, because why not? Hiding who I was almost ruined Alana. There was no hiding or lying to this kid now. Maybe it was better if I kept her close and made sure she didn’t break after what she’d been through. Hopefully it didn’t turn her into a sociopath or something. I wouldn’t deny that after I did this to Jake, I wanted to do it again. It was interesting to me and shit, it was good for my plants.

“Alright,” I decided. “I’ll show you how it works if you want, but not until you’re older. And you can’t say a word to anybody. Remember when you promised you wouldn’t tell Mike I was in your room?” She nodded, barely containing a smile. “But listen to me. Anyone else ever asks you to keep secrets like that, you tell me immediately.”

The last thing I wanted was for her to learn that she should follow those kinds of instructions. Nobody in her life would hurt her, but that didn’t mean someone couldn’t come along. And what would I do in that case? Kill them, obviously.

I motioned toward the other chair. She flashed me a smile before she sat down.

It looked like I’d be imparting all of my knowledge to her. Well, not the murder part. One day, she could do this to me and Alana. It was an oddly comforting thought. Rather than being put in the ground and going to waste, I’d be immortalized. Maybe Alicia would make wine out of us both and set us together on a shelf. I liked that idea.

Well, this might be my fucked up legacy. In a way, I guess I had my brother to thank for it. He’d started this whole mess and he’d brought Alicia into the world.

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