Page 131 of My Turn

Well, here’s to you, brother, I thought.Looks like your daughter is gonna be a lot more like her uncle than her father.You couldn’t take care of either of them. I hope you burn in hell for eternity for failing the two most important people in my life.

Chapter 46B

Alana

I stared in horror at what I’d done. There was blood. So much of it. The gun fell to the ground with a clatter and I stumbled backward. Strong arms came around me, but I didn’t feel safe. They held me tightly as if restraining me.

“Alicia,” I choked out.

Vacant eyes stared up at me, so similar to Jake’s. The hole in her neck was like a floodgate. I’d seen throats get cut on TV, but seeing a bullet tear through her in real life was entirely different. I retched and when I tried to curl forward, I found that I was still trapped.

Trapped. I was trapped. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

“I’m sorry,” I cried. “I didn’t mean to.”

My voice sounded far away like I was underwater. Then, I was falling. It felt like the moment you thought you were going to fall out of a chair, but I couldn’t set my feet on the ground. I just kept going. I thought of Alice in Wonderland, the way she’d fallen down the rabbit hole. What was at the bottom?

Pain radiated throughout my body. I looked down and saw marble floors that were vaguely familiar. They were so clean- pristine. I flattened my palms on them to push myself up,but then something red dripped onto them. It spread outward, changing the color of the floors all the way throughout the room. I coughed and more of it spewed out of me. When I tried to draw a breath, my throat gurgled.

Drowning. I was drowning in my own blood. I was going to die. My head was already airy and my lungs burned with the need to breathe.

I convulsed and gagged on the blood. My ears were ringing and there was a faint sound in the distance. Beeping? I couldn’t place it. Maybe it was my alarm trying to wake me from this nightmare.

“Alana.”

My eyes opened and I drew in a breath. My throat hurt, but it wasn’t full of blood. Brightness made me squint before I could figure out where I was. The beeping was louder now, coming from my left. Someone’s hand took mine and somehow, I didn’t need to see them to know who it was.

“Sir, we told you to back up.”

“Fuck you.”

I turned to look at Jayce. When he saw me, a smile lit up his face. The way his eyes filled with tears made my chest ache. He wasn’t supposed to cry. He hadn’t even cried at his brother’s funeral.

Jake.

“Oh my god,” I rasped. The words burned my throat and made my breath catch.

“Hey, don’t say anything. You need to heal.”

I furrowed my brow, urging him to explain. A nurse shouldered past him, pushing him to the side. The look on his face was murderous. I offered him a little smile, which eased the way he bristled. He took a single step back and crossed his arms over his chest while they checked me out.

Whatever they told me, I couldn’t pay attention to it. There were two things that occupied my thoughts right now. One was the man a few feet away. His presence was heavy and commanding. Even one of the nurses kept looking over at him as if he was a dog that might bite. He just might.

The second was what I’d learned about him before I got shot. Jake, Ben, Mike, and the others. At the time, I’d been freaking out. Spiraling. Losing my shit. After Alicia interrupted, I knew what I was going to do. I’d forgive him and we’d be happy. I just couldn’t let go of the damn gun. My head wasn’t right. If the gun had been loaded, I might’ve shot her. It triggered a whole new round of fear. For a second, I just couldn’t stop thinking about how dangerous it all was. Any of us could get caught in the consequences that would come from Jayce’s actions.

But when the nurses shuffled out and I looked at him, it was like I fell in love all over again. He seemed a little timid as he moved closer. He paused, then shook his head and put his hand on my waist before he leaned down to kiss me. It was firm but gentle enough that it didn’t hurt me.

“I’m so fucking mad at you,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have given you that gun. I’m so sorry.”

I offered him a small shake of my head. When I lifted my hand to my throat, he grabbed my fingers and pulled them back.

“You’ll be able to talk, don’t worry. It’s just inflamed and you have stitches in your neck. You can’t move it too much for a bit. You’ll have a cool scar.”

I frowned. I didn’t want a scar, especially one that would be front and center.

He smiled at me. The blue of his eyes was enough to drown me.

“You’re beautiful, Alana. Fucking beautiful. And think about it. Your students might not fuck around as much since you’ll look like a badass.”

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