I set my jaw as I thought about what to say. Telling her the truth might come across as stalker-ish, which I couldn’t afford for her to think. Pieces would start fitting together and she’d figure it out before we got to a place where she’d accept both sides of me.
“Jayce,” she prompted.
“He found something for me.”
“It must’ve been pretty damn important.”
“You could say that.”
Her palms flattened on my chest and my eyes closed. I couldn’t help but lean in closer, relishing the way her fingers felt on my body. Then, the pressure increased. She shoved hard and when I didn’t budge, she slammed her hands against me. I caught her wrists and put them back where they were, keeping my eyes locked on hers. It felt like something was trying to explode out of me.
“Don’t be angry,” I said firmly.
“You need to go. My class starts soon.”
She tried to pull out of my grasp, but I held on. I was fucking tired of this. Withholding. Keeping myself at arm’s length. Ithurtme, but there was nothing I could do about it.
Maybe… Maybe I’d been overcomplicating it. It could backfire if I gave it a shot, but the game I’d been playing had that chanceas well. Possibly more so. It rode on twisting and breaking her, which I had no issue with as long as it worked.
Fuck it. I physically couldn’t stop myself.
I released her and wrapped an arm around her waist. She gasped when I pulled her flush against me. With my other hand on the side of her neck, I kept her firmly in place and kissed her. I’d planned this exact moment for so long that it felt familiar. This was right. It was everything I would ever want in this godforsaken world and I’d been denied it for half my fucking life.
She didn’t even fucking hesitate. Alana melted into me easily, molding her lips to mine and following my movements like this was a choreographed dance. This was natural, the easiest thing I’d ever done.
She belonged to me. Mine. Fucking mine. She always had been and I should’ve stolen her from Jake the moment he brought her home. Fuck him, fuck Preston, fuck Mike. Fuck Alana, even, for acting like she didn’t know who she truly belonged to. My name was etched into her soul and her blood flowed through my veins with every beat of her heart. As long as she was alive, that wouldn’t change. Itcouldn’tchange. Some things were fixed, set in stone. That’s what we were.
I pressed her back against the desk as I delved into her mouth. My hand on her waist dipped underneath her shirt to feel her soft skin. I squeezed her tightly, trying to leave my mark on her. Moving my fingers into her hair, I cradled her head while I tipped it back, giving me full control over her lips.
God, she was so malleable. She was independent and never would have been submissive for Jake, but for me she was. For me, she’d be anything I wanted. She knew I’d take care of her, protect her, kill for her, so she trusted me to hold her most broken pieces.
She whimpered against me and I tightened my grip as words long silenced tried to burst free. “Alana, I-”
With a sharp intake of breath, she turned her head. I swallowed and tried to steady my heart.
“You need to go,” she whispered.
“No. No, Alana, I’m not gonna fucking go.”
“My class…”
“That’s not what this is about.” My teeth ached from how hard they were clenched.
“I can’t give you what you want. It’s not fair to you.”
“What I want?” I repeated, my voice rising. “Tell me whatyouwant.”
“I can’t do this, Jayce.” She squeezed out from between me and the desk. I watched her stop at the window and stare out at the field.
“It’s because you feel guilty.”
“Go. Please. I can’t do this.”
“Stop feeling guilty for loving me, Alana!”
She flinched and her shoulders rose. I stared at her back for another moment before I swiped a hand down my face.
“You saw him? Felt him? Heard him?”