Page 133 of Stolen Bases

She narrows her eyes at me in anger, and I brace for impact. Cat Romero is sweet and strong, but she’s also a firecracker with the fiery blood of a very passionate woman. “I don’t have to know. If your brother says he’s no good, then it must be true. Don’t mistake my concern for Nico’s image and career with me thinking Cameron Miller doesn’t deserve ridicule.”

“That’s insane. You don’t even know him,” I grind out. I’m doing everything in my power to hide my outrage over what she’s saying.

“It doesn’t matter, Talia. It’s loyalty. Family comes first. We do not turn our back on our family.”

“I’m not turning my back on my family, dammit. All I’m asking you to do is look past your bias. Get to know Cam. See what kind of man he is for yourself.” I pray she hears my plea.

“No.” Her tone is firm. Unchanging.

“Mamma.”

“I said no, Lia. Nico has sacrificed too much for this family. When all the other guys were going out and partying, your brother was home, making sure we had everything we needed. Nico took care of us. He fixed our home, this restaurant, and he even paid for your education. He has done everything for you. For all of us. I will not betray him. And neither will you.”

I take a deep breath, trying to quell the anger. “I know what he’s done for us. For me. He’s the best big brother a sister could ever ask for. But I sacrificed for him and our family too. Maybe not in the same ways, but just because Nico’s sacrifices were financial, it does not mean I owe him my life. I’m your daughter; you should value my happiness too. Not everything is about Nico.”

“I do value your happiness, Lia.”

“Not enough to see things from my side.”

She winces. I’m not pulling my punches anymore.

“Your brother has his reasons for not liking that man. You don’t think I googled him? There are hundreds of photos of him, each with a different woman. He’s a manwhore. A man like that isn’t good enough to date my daughter.”

Tears well in my eyes. She doesn’t even know Cam, and she’s judging him. Do I like that the man I love has been with a lot of women? No. Who the hell would? But his past doesn’t define who he is inside. He didn’t love those women, but he loves me.

“I’ve been with hundreds of guys. Am I a whore too? Am I not worthy of finding love because I slept around?” I ask.

“Enough.” My mom stares up at the ceiling, muttering in Italian. “Dio, dammi la forza.”God, give me strength.“I’m not changing my mind.”

“So, that’s it? I’m just expected to go along with what you want for Nico’s sake?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you didn’t not say it either.” My tears break free and run down my cheeks. The release is cathartic, so I lean in and let it all out. “I know I’m the reason my dad left.”

“Lia, no…”

“It’s okay, Mamma. I heard you tell Zia. I know you miss him. I know you wish he was still here, but you kept me instead. It doesn’t bug me because I know you love me. But I’m tired of feeling like an afterthought.”

“You aren’t.”

“I am, and it’s partly my fault. I have gone along with what everyone wants for as long as I can remember. Everyone thinks I’m so smart and so perfect, but I’m not. I was just afraid of being resented further, so I became a doormat. I never spoke up for myself back then. I kept my head in my books and didn’t ask for extra stuff. I didn’t fight for your attention. I let you give to Nico. But I’m not doing that anymore. It’s time for me to speak up and fight for what I want. I’m an adult, and I need to put my needs and my happiness first.” I feel lighter as I check my watch and stand. “My shift starts in twenty, so I need to leave. I won’t be home for a few days, but we can chat more when I get back.” I circle the desk, kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear, “I love you, Mamma. With all my heart.”

A tear rolls down her cheek, and I wipe it away. A part of me wants to apologize and console her, but I can’t. Resorting back to my old habits won’t help me grow. And I need to grow.

I need to follow my heart.

thirty-two

Talia

I’m not usually anairplane sleeper, but after the emotional conversation with my mom and two back-to-back shifts at the hospital, I’m beat. I slept the entire two-and-a-half-hour flight to Portland. My neck hurts a little from leaning against the window, but I’m wide awake.

During my last shift, I made a promise to myself to forget everything that happened and just have fun this weekend.

I’m really excited to meet the entire Miller family. Cam talks about everyone so much; I feel like I know them all already. I’m still worried they won’t be supportive, but Cam has done his best to reassure me that’s not the case.

I am near the passenger pickup area at the curb, and as if my body knows he’s close, my heart does that little flip thing inside my chest. It’s been a week since I last saw him, between home and away games, but we are making it work.

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