Page 6 of Stolen Bases

And yet … something is missing.But what?

The question plagues me as I recount the last couple of years. I rub at the empty ache in my chest as my stomach knots, and the back of my neck breaks out in a layer of sweat. Why didn’t I think about what comes after I get the career? Why didn’t I make any plans for the rest of my life?

Breathe.

A small, warm hand lands on my shoulder, pulling me from my gray thoughts. “What’s the matter,piccolina? Are you still worried about the test?”

My mother’s heart-shaped face greets me as I open my eyes. She doesn’t look a day over forty, but her gray eyes betray her. Life hasn’t always been kind to her. She’s spent years working long, arduous hours in a restaurant she started when she became a single mom.

I don’t like Mamma to stress over me. She doesn’t need to burden herself with my existential crisis. So, I do what I always do. I hide my feelings.

Pulling my shoulders back, I tilt my chin up, slap on a smile, and fib, “Just nervous.”

What’s another tiny white lie?

I avoid making waves and calling attention to myself. It’s what my family needs from me, and I am happy to provide that security for them. Especially my mom. She’s the strongest woman I know and has sacrificed everything for me and my brother. My father left when he found out she was pregnant with me, leaving her to raise me and my brother alone. A lesser woman would have crumbled.

Not Caterina Romero. Nothing keeps her down.

Instead, she opened Belladonna with my Zia Rose, who moved into our family home with her three daughters in tow. We’re one big happy family, like the new version ofFull House, where all the women are raising their kids on their own.

Only, we’re crazier.

You put seven hot-blooded Italians under one roof, and it’s utter chaos.

As the youngest of the Romero line, I found it easier to work hard and keep out of trouble. My brother and cousins were quite the handful growing up. I took it upon myself to make it easy on my mother, so she could concentrate on taking care of the restaurant and lug my big brother around to all his baseball games.

Mamma cups my cheek tenderly, and my chest pinches in a way that reminds me of her love. It flows from her down to my soul, soothing me. “You have worked so hard these past years. I know you passed with flying colors. My baby girl is the smartest of them all.”

This is not the first time I’ve heard this. But she doesn’t realize I’m flailing, nor does she know about the amount of pressure I put on myself, striving to be perfect for everyone. The smartest. The quietest. The least needy. To not let anyone down.

It’s been exhausting.

I keep all this to myself and go with, “You don’t know that for sure, Mamma.”

“Yes, I do. You never disappoint me, Lia. You’re my perfect girl,” she states proudly, calling me by my family nickname.

My eyelid twitches at her praise.

Perfect little Talia,my brain taunts.

Mamma doesn’t miss the reflex and sighs. “Lia, you are a special girl. So much light inside you. But you carry too much on your back and in your heart. You need to have some fun before you start work. Free up some space in here.” She places her hand on my chest over my heart.

I can sense her underlying worry. My heart beats harder and faster, feeding my anxiety.

“Of all of us Romeros, you have the biggest heart. It is one of your many super powers. But you must take care of it too.”

She’s not wrong.

I have spent my entire life with my head in my books. For the last nine years, I have done nothing but study and work my way through college and graduate school. I can’t even remember the last time I took a day off to relax. I have no life beyond school, no relationships outside of my family. Hell, the last guy I dated turned out to be a total douchebag.

Ugh, Kyle.

He is the assistant to Nico’s sports agent, Damien Barnes, and the slimiest tool I’ve ever met. If I told Nico the truth about what happened with Kyle, he’d beat the crap out of him, and I can’t let Nico go to jail for me.

“I know, Mamma. I will.”

“That’s my girl. You need a vacation more than I do. It will help you recharge and get ready for your new job. Have some fun. Meet someone.”

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