Page 37 of The Bachelor's Dilemma

Slowly the horse started off. Zack bounced with excitement.

Myles stretched his arm on the back of the seat, his hand just inches away from her shoulders. Anna tried to relax and enjoy the ride, but her senses were revved up and attuned to Myles’s every move. It had been a long time since she’d felt this way around a man. Not since Tom.

They left for home after the carriage ride. Zack wanted Myles to come in and play with him.

“Not today, sport. Myles spent enough time with us. He has to do things on his own,” she said, with a quick smile at Myles.

It wasn’t Myles who needed time alone. It was her. Her heart had kicked up a notch when he’d taken her hand this afternoon. She’d wanted to recapture that feeling when they walked to the taxi stand in the Park, but had been too uncertain of how he’d take it.

She never wanted him to think she was some lonely widow looking for a man any place she could find him. Was her mother right? Did a woman need a man? She hoped not, for her sake.

“Thanks again for the picnic. I can’t remember the last one I went on,” she said to Myles in the elevator as it rose to her floor.

“Thank you for coming. A picnic for one just wouldn’t have been the same.”

“I guess not.”

She stepped off when the elevator reached her floor and the doors opened. Not Zack.

“I could come to your house and play,” he told Myles, gazing up at the tall man.

“Zack, no more today. Come along.”

For a moment, Anna was tempted to say the same thing. Only the play she had in mind wouldn’t be for children, but for two adults.

Shocked at her thoughts, she reached for Zack and urged him from the elevator. She knew people couldn’t read minds, but she’d to clamp down on her emotions before Myles picked up an inkling of what she was feeling.

She marched to her front door, resolutely refusing to turn to watch as Myles was enclosed behind the doors of the elevator and whisked away.

“Get a grip,” she mumbled as she fumbled with the key in the lock.

“What?” Zack asked.

“Nothing. Let’s wash our hands and have some juice, then you can play in your room for a while.”

Myles’s talk of marriage had been sad. Wasn’t he looking for love? She thought he was expecting too little. She and Tom had had a wonderful marriage. They’d loved the same activities, the same movies. They’d never ran out of things to talk about. Especially after a long day at the office when he came home and wanted to know every detail of Zack’s day. That first year they had Zack had been especially amazing. She longed for that close tie again.

Maybe her mother was right. She needed another husband.

But her expectations for a mate seemed higher than Myles’s. Maybe because she came from a loving family and he had none. Or maybe because of a myriad of other reasons. Whatever—was she softening in her no-more-marriage view? Was it time to let go?

It was too hard. She wanted to cling to all they’d had for as long as she could. Her marriage to Tom had been the best time of her life, and she hated to know it was gone. If she could just talk to him once more, spend an afternoon together. She hadn’t properly cherished their time together, had taken it for granted and in an instant, it vanished.

Could she ever move on, trust in the future enough to take a chance with another man? She didn’t think she could live through the heartache of losing a husband again.

Yet, did she want to live a lonely life from now until she was old and gray? That would mean possibly passing up a happy future simply to cling to the past. That sounded equally unacceptable. She didn’t enjoy feeling so confused.

It was just too hard.

Chapter Five

Sunday it rained.

Anna was grumpy because of lack of sleep. She’d tossed and turned all night, thinking about Myles. She didn’t want to settle for a companion role, but could see the appeal to a man who might not know much about love. Just to have someone to make a family with would be important to him.

Once she’d fallen asleep, she’d dreamed about Myles. She couldn’t escape the man.

Zack was fussy that morning. He wanted to go to the park, but Anna had said no. Summer rain could be fun to walk through, but it was still early spring and cold outside.

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