Page 3 of Country Charm

Hi, my name is Cassidy Walker, I’m thirty, eternally single, have two master’s degrees in accounting and data analytics, I enjoy long walks, the sounds of crickets and catching fireflies, a full glass of wine, and now apparently second as a disco ball.

Standing up, I dust off as much as I can, but it really doesn’t seem like much comes off. I take a deep breath and survey my desk.

Bitches. I plan on telling them just that.

Me: Gee Girls. Nothing like starting this Bday Weekend off with a bang. Who is paying for a cleaning crew to come and get this shit out of my keyboard?

Lynn: I thought Mary said we were bombing your office with confetti?

Mary: ME?! Like I could get into your building and spread confetti everywhere, let alone shit. We all know I have a terrible gag reflex based on texture and smell.

Georgie: You both suck. She does not have shit in her office obvi.

Mary: Oh, well then just vacuum the confetti up Cass. You’re being dramatic

Me: IT’S NOT CONFETTI. ITS GLITTER YOU COWS!

Me: Image attached.

Georgie: ***bows**

Mary: #dying

Lynn: Wow.

Lynn: Remember you love us.

Georgie: Moo

Mary: #stilldying

Me: I am going to look like a disco ball until I am literally 40.

Lynn: The pranks live on. I was kind of hoping we could kick off our 30s without them.

Mary: Oh hell no. Cass will never live this year’s down. I will prank her at her fuckin’ funeral.

Me: #comedygenius

Mary: Good luck at your meeting today looking like jr. high twerp. Glitter hair was so ’90.

Georgie: I thought the 90’s look was resurfacing?

Me: I hate you all.

Lynn: Moo

Lynn: *Boo

Me: See, you cows

Georgie: Moo

Mary: Moo

Lynn: Moo

Me: I’ll see y’all at the rodeo tomorrow.

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