Page 87 of Country Charm

Cassidy

I’ve been a mess all day. I’ve cried at each of the girls’ weddings, but I am a blubbering mess today. From the first thing this morning when we gathered and had a catered brunch with mimosas while getting ready to now.

The ceremony has just finished, and everything has been picture-perfect. A more beautiful wedding might only exist in a book, as far as I’m concerned. There was beauty, a quiet feeling that brought a calmness, and Rose offered comic relief by spilling the beans about Lynn’s second pregnancy.

In true Lynn fashion, you can’t tell. She feels as fit as a fiddle, not an ounce of morning sickness. Rose dropped the news like a bomb, and Lynn has had virgin drinks all day because of it.

Mary’s and Trent’s vows couldn’t have been more beautiful. They didn’t write them themselves, but the ones they chose were well-suited and light. Her dress is a sweetheart A-line that has light layers and a fair number of embellishments to make it unique. Trent surprisingly isn’t wearing an over-the-top suit. I imagined him looking a bit more uptightbeing the hotel mogul he is, but he has on a simple blue-grey suit and a thin navy tie.

The church was filled with white hydrangeas, orchids, and an assortment of greenery. From last night at the rehearsal to this morning, the difference in the space is unbelievable. The stained glass reflected off the thick white floral arrangements, creating an illuminating look as Mary walked down the aisle.

It was perfect. Mary is a perfectionist so I assumed everything would be beautiful, but this whole wedding has been just too much. Watching her join the other girls in their new marital lives is creating a feeling in me I can’t place.

Undeniable happiness for them is the first thing that comes to mind, but there is more. The desire for big change sits deep in my belly. Adventure, passion, and joy of my own.

We are just finishing pictures at the reception estate now and I need another drink. Georgie is on the same page and scampers off to the bar that has already opened for the wedding party.

Trent’s best man is his cousin, and best friend, Kai. They have grown up basically as brothers and their bond reminds me a lot of mine with each of the girls.

“Cheeks hurt yet?” Kai jokes.

“Definitely, I don’t know if a cheek strain is possible but if it is, I’m almost there.” He looks down at me in my strappy dress and his eyes linger on my chest. The girls look good today. They are still sprinkled with some glitter and our makeup artist highlighted my collarbone, so they are displayed for a lovely show.

He’s not much taller than me, but he has a few good inches. He has a thin build and thick, dark brown curls. Hehas to have some god-descendent genes because his light olive skin and light green eyes are enough to bring a girl to her knees, willingly. His suit is plain grey instead of having a slight blue tone, and it looks good on him.

“I haven’t seen a case of it yet, but if you get one, mind if I report it in a medical journal?” Mr. Not-So-Tall, but Dark and Handsome is an ER doctor. Dr. Kai, at my service tonight because he also came stag for best man duties.

“Is your speech funny? If it is, that might push me over the edge into a new medical diagnosis for you.”

“I can make it funny if that’s what you want,” he says. I offer a nice smile but feel nothing inside. My ability to flirt and be light isn’t there today. I’m too emotional from the last wedding of our group.

“Don’t change anything up for me,” I say. Georgie slides up next to me and is holding two glasses.

“Red or white?” she asks.

I take the red and look over to where Trent and Mary are taking more pictures. They look perfect and a feeling stabs me in the chest. I spit up a little of my wine and Kai offers me a handkerchief from his pocket. It has his initials embroidered on it, so it must have been a groomsman gift.

Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I shake my head.

“No, no, I won’t ruin your new handkerchief with my clumsiness.”

“I can wash it,” he rebuts and taps at my mouth for me. The gesture is sweet but too close for my comfort. I stay still to let the moment pass quickly. Not much longer and the reception will be in full swing.

Food. Speeches. Dancing.

Then back off to the city and I can leavethis town behind me for good. Another stab to the chest comes but I brush this one off easier than the last.

Lynn comes up behind me and wraps her arm around my shoulders.

“Can I steal you?”

I nod to Kai and take my leave with Lynn, Georgie in tow.

“What’s up?” I pry.

“Are you okay? You’ve had this look on your face all day,” she says pouting, a little at the end.

“I’m more than okay. I just can’t believe you’re all married now, and you have a second baby on the way.” I know my face is sad, I can’t help it. I am stupidly happy for all of them, but I feel so alone suddenly. I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t know how to express it.

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