Page 90 of Country Charm

Cassidy

“Are you sure you don’t just want to sit in someone’s lap?” Mary drunkenly asks.

“I’m positive. I wanted to grab a few keepsakes for you anyway. And who knows when the next time I’ll have a night on a property like this will be. The driver already said another car was on the way back. I’ll be there five minutes after you.” I hand a sleeping Rose over to Chase and kiss her head one more time.

“I’ll stay with you,” Kai starts to rise, but Lynn’s hand shoots out.

“She wants to be alone,” she tells him.

She’s not wrong. I do. I want a moment to myself in that flower field. I want to wait and see if fireflies will join me. I want to breathe in the fresh floral air for a moment longer before I close this chapter and start my next.

“You sure?” he asks.

“I’m positive.”

“She’s positive,” the girls say in unison with me. I laugh while sliding the van door shut and sending them on theirway. Their van leaves, kicking up some dirt and dust, and I make my way back to the reception tent.

People are breaking things down already and I hasten myself. I started grabbing things earlier but got distracted having a good time. I find the bag and add a few more things to it. Our table cards with everyone’s names handwritten on them in calligraphy, two centerpieces, her bouquet, and a placemat that’s made from local lace.

The staff keeps working and I set my bag down by a tree before looking out to the field ahead of me. Rows of different flowers fill what seems like an endless space. When the wind blows, the flowers seem to dance together, swaying to the chords created by natural currents. I step carefully between the beds, careful not to damage this sacred land.

This was the perfect place for Mary. It suits her. It set such a charming tone for her future with Trent, and to everyone’s surprise, his mother loved every little detail.

I drag my hands across the flowers, their silky petals offering my hands tiny, soft strokes as I walk forward. I hear water flowing and continue on my path until I find a stream. Part of my heart wants to follow this stream to its end, hoping it will take me to open green fields filled with fireflies and a warm embrace.

I don’t.

I stop and stand still, breathing slowly and taking it all in. My breath is free, without measure or time, just coming in deeply and leaving me with pieces of my emotional worry.

I stand at the stream for long moments waiting for a possible flicker of light, but it doesn’t come. I could stay here for the remainder of the evening, but I know that shuttle iswaiting for me, and Lynn won’t sleep until I knock on her door to let her know I made it back safe.

Just as I’m about to turn to leave I see a blink, a wink, a flash of delicate flying light.

Perfect.

I turn back to the flower field and leave the stream behind me, and all the air in my lungs leaves me in a rushed breath.

Endless flowers swaying in the gentle wind, a natural firework show of twinkling lights, a beautiful family farm with low glowing lights in the distance, and a tall, bewitching man appear before me.

I couldn’t tell anyone why, not even myself, but tears start to roll down my cheeks. Hunter takes large and attentive steps toward me, and I remain frozen. My hands don’t leave my sides, and I even feel myself stand a little taller as he approaches me. When he reaches me, I bring a hand up to my face to wipe away the tears, but he catches my wrist and pulls me even closer.

He cradles my face in his hands and brushes his thumbs under my eyes, pulling the tears away. I see a longing in his eyes I’ve never known or understood before. I see worry etching his face. I see perfect lips quirk but remain still, waiting before speaking.

My tears have stopped, and my hands take hold of his forearms as he holds steady.

“I thought I was alone,” I whisper.

“Never again,” he says before he crashes his lips to mine. He kisses me long and hard. I feel missed, coveted, and above all else, I feel loved. He pulls back and looks deep into my eyes.

A sob breaks free, but that doesn’t stop me. I wrap my arms around his neck and cry long and hard.

Never. Again.

I think to myself, was I ever alone? I’ve always had my friends as family. I’ve always had my independence but was I ever alone? Perhaps for those few moments between the shuttle with my chosen family leaving and Hunter pulling up. I had lived happily on my own until Hunter came barreling into my life, cowboy boots and all.

I had never felt alone until he would leave. I had never felt alone until Mary said her vows. I had never felt alone until right before he held me in his arms and showed me a face I could call home.

I start crying all over again. Was my apartment ever a home? Was it just a space I spent my time in between? In between friends. In between work. In between trysts with a one-night stand. Was the whole time before Hunter a filler episode in the series of my life?

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