Page 89 of Hidden By the Gargoyle

Against my will, tears formed in my eyes. “You don’t hurt your family the way you hurt me last night.” I sniffled but blinked the water away from my eyes. “And then, when you were facing down Talant and his brother today, you called me your mate. I’m pretty sure I have whiplash from how quickly you changed your attitude.” I waved a hand toward the front of the cave. “And you’ve locked me in here with you!”

“I will regret the way I spoke to you last night for the rest of my life,” Dax murmured. “And I will never forgive myself for not talking to you this morning.” He glanced at the door. “As for locking you in here, it has more to do with making sure we’re not interrupted rather than keeping you here.”

He crouched down in front of me, his face nearly level with mine even though he was basically on his knees.

“Ally, no one is good enough for you. Least of all me. But the idea—” His voice cracked, like a stone breaking in two. When he continued, his words held a tremor. “I may not be worthy of you, but I know I would work harder than any other male to make sure that you were happy for the rest of your life. That you know without a doubt that you are the center of my world, and the sun doesn’t rise in the morning if you aren’t there when I wake up. No one deserves you but you deserve to have someone who will do anything for you. And I think that’s me.”

Damn, the tears were back. His words chipped away a bit of my resolve to remain distant. I hardened myself. I couldn’t let myself be easily swayed just because he was saying all the things I wished he’d said yesterday.

“I don’t know if I can trust that, Dax,” I said.

He looked tortured at my word. He didn’t reach out, but his hands twitched as though he wanted to. “It’s not an excuse, but you have to understand that I have lost anyone and everyone I’ve ever loved. Everyone I was meant to protect was murdered. There are still nights, centuries later, where I relive those days over and over again in my dreams.” He leaned closer. “My biggest fear is adding your face to those dreams. And to that loss.”

My breath caught in my chest. There were tears shimmering in his eyes. This man, this gargoyle, who always seemed to be in perfect control of his emotions, was crying at the mere thought of losing me. My heart wanted to soften again, but I didn’t allow it. I couldn’t give in just because he gave me a sweetly worded apology. He had to understand that, yes, he was correct—I deserved better than that. And also, that I wasn’t going to sit back and let him do it over and over again just because he said he was sorry.

“What happens when you get scared again, Dax?” I asked. “You say I deserve someone who will do anything for me but what happens when you realize that nothing in life is guaranteed, and it gets the better of you?”

My words were soft and gentle, but he winced as though I’d slapped him across the face.

It was my turn to lean forward, our faces only a few inches apart. “While I do deserve better than the way you treated me, I think I should be the one to decide if someone is worthy of me or not,” I said. “That’s not your decision unless I ask you to select my future husband. Am I clear?”

Dax blinked at my stern question but nodded. His hand reached out to take mine, lifting it from where it rested on my lap.

“I am truly sorry, Ally. More than I can ever explain with words.” He took a deep breath and released it. Then, he continued, “I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you after you graduated college. But I was convinced that it was wrong. That your aunt wouldn’t approve. That I would be taking advantage of your youthful feelings for me.”

I squeezed his hand, shocked that he was able to admit all of that out loud. It was another chip in the wall I’d been trying to build around my heart since last night.

“What I felt for you when I was a teenager and in my early twenties, it was love, but it wasn’t what I feel now. Before this week, I never saw your flaws, Dax. To me, you were perfect.”

His expression began to shutter.

I cupped his cheek with my other hand. “But now I see that it’s not true. You’re not perfect. You’re just perfect for me. You say I deserve someone who will do anything for me, and I’ve always thought the same thing about you.”

He leaned forward until our foreheads touched and his eyes closed. His horns were surprisingly smooth where they rested against my head, and I could feel the slight roughness of his grey skin.

Goddess, maybe it made me weak, but I wanted to give him another chance. But, just as he was scared that he would lose me, I was afraid that he was going to push me away again.

We were going to have to lay it all out with each other. It was the only way I could move past this.

“I want you to give me an honest answer to a question,” I said.

He leaned back, his eyes opening to gaze into mine. For once, I could read every emotion, every thought, on his face. “I will tell you anything.”

Another brick knocked out of the wall I’d desperately built last night.

“What do you see in your future?” He looked confused, so I reworded the question. “If you could have any future between us, what would it look like?”

He swallowed hard. “What I want?”

I nodded.

“I want to wake up next to you every morning and have breakfast together. I want to share the highs and lows of life with you. The good days and the bad days. I want to have dinner with you in the evening and go to bed beside you every night. Whether we travel the world or never leave Devil Springs, I want to be by your side.”

It was my turn to swallow hard. Dear goddess, his vision of our future was mine. The wall around my heart began to crumble, shaken by what I could see in his eyes and hear in his voice. He was sincere.

His mouth was a breath from mine when he continued speaking, “And, someday, if you wanted, I want to build a family with you.”

My mouth went dry. “Are you talking about…children?” I asked.

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