Page 17 of Secrets and Shadows

As more students trickle into the classroom, anticipation thickens in the air. I’m uncertain about my own performance on the assignment. I experimented with both types of spells, hoping to determine which path might suit me better, but I didn’t fully excel at either.

Frustration bubbles beneath the surface, mingling with anxiety. What does it mean? Am I destined to be a terrible Protector because of it?

Will I even become a Protector at all?

“I’ve had less luck than you, I’m afraid,” I admit. “I managed to cast both types of spells, but neither felt right. That can’t be a good sign…”

Tony’s expression tightens as he searches for the right words to comfort me. “Well… it was only one assignment. No one expects us to know everything right away. And let’s not forget you’re excelling in other classes—like self-defense.”

Self-defense is important, but I know I can’t rely solely on it to get through the academy. Before I can voice my concerns, heavy footsteps resonate through the classroom, their echoes silencing all conversation.

Professor Nox strides to his desk, embodying the room’s dark tone. His long black hair falls in countless braids to his waist, and his gray eyes narrow as they sweep over us, as if assessing our very souls.

I swallow hard.

“I wish to know how your assignments went.” He skips the pleasantries and dives right in. “Those of you who found thenurturing spells easier, please rise.” Most of the class stands up—as expected. Tony is among them. “And now, those who successfully cast the protective spells.”

Seven students rise to their feet. I want to join them, but I can’t. These spells are supposed to fit like a glove, yet I feel adrift in both categories. So, I remain seated, and when Professor Nox’s gaze lands on me, a knot tightens in my stomach.

“Have you not completed your assignment, Lilith?” he asks, his voice slicing through the room. Instantly, all eyes shift to me, and I wish I could melt into the floor. Is it too much to hope for a sinkhole to open up and swallow me whole?

“I have, Professor. It’s just that… neither spell really resonated with me,” I respond, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. “I managed to cast both types, but I don’t feel like I’ve tapped into my full potential with either.”

I look into his eyes, searching for reassurance, hoping he might say this is normal. But instead, his gray gaze offers only pity, and he doesn’t even have to say a word. I can already feel I’m doomed.

Seven

SIMON

Lilith’s voicecuts through the heavy silence in the academy’s yard, among the gnarled and withering trees. “Hey, Simon, do you have a moment?”

The sky above is particularly grim today, a swirling canvas of gray that threatens rain. I stop and turn to face her, immediately noticing the worry etched on her brow. Damn it.

I know I’m already late for the Operations meeting, and Bennett won’t be pleased with me, but something in Lilith’s tone compels me to nod and ask, “Of course. Is everything okay?”

My mind races in a million directions as I wait for her to respond. Kai has detected unusual Rogue activity on the northern shore again, but he assured us it’s under control. Knowing him, blood has likely been spilled, and that should be the end of it. Still, I hope that taking a few minutes for Lilith isn’t a matter of life or death.

“Yes… No. Maybe. Sort of?” she begins hesitantly, and my gaze drifts to the purple streaks in her hair as she tucks a strand of it behind her ear. While unusual, they suit her perfectly. “I, uh, wanted to ask about your first Spellcasting assignmentduring your first year. Did you have any trouble summoning the protective spells Professor Nox assigned?”

Her question takes me by surprise. The assignment isn’t graded, so I can’t imagine why she’d be this concerned about it. It’s merely a test to gauge a student’s general energy levels. But if she sought me out to ask about it…

“I don’t think so,” I reply slowly, slipping my hands into my pockets. “But keep in mind, it’s not always completely accurate at this stage. If you’re stronger in nurturing spells and hoping to be a Predator, it’s not uncommon for the results to be a bit off. Energy can be misleading, and the only way to truly discover what your Shadow will be is during your Shadowing in the forest.”

Although, this is all stuff she should already know. So why the worry?

Her expression should show relief, but instead, she shifts from one foot to the other, her long ponytail swinging slightly with the movement. I frown; if my arms weren’t in my pockets, I might be tempted to grab her shoulders to steady her.

“It’s not that,” she confesses.

Reading her is a challenge—even for me. Since our first sparring session, she’s been an enigma. Those purple-flecked eyes hold a thousand questions and emotions, sharp and intelligent, yet I can’t pin down a single one.

Despite our regular sparring sessions four times a week, we haven’t had many personal conversations, even though I’m dying to know more about her. But the troubled expression she’s wearing now signals that there’s something deeper going on.

“I haven’t been able to successfully cast either type of spell,” she continues anxiously. “I mean, I can manage the basic spells my father taught me, but those are simple compared to this advanced spellcasting. If I struggle with these, how will I eversummon my Shadow? It’s all supposed to be interconnected, right?”

I nod in understanding, though internally I’m at a loss for how to advise her. Shit.

Her situation doesn’t add up, especially given the power she displays in her defensive and offensive strategies. She’s unlike any other first-year student I’ve worked with, so I’m baffled as to why the strength I’ve seen in our sparring hasn’t translated into her spellcasting.

---