Page 35 of Secrets and Shadows

“Sense what?” I ask, even though I know he won’t give me a straight answer. Strong and silent—this seems to be his style, and I’m starting to get used to it. I swallow hard, feeling a mix of irritation and intrigue. I should despise the way he affects me, but somehow, I don’t. Instead, I ask the one question I shouldn’t, but can’t resist needing the answer to.

“Who are you?”

In that moment, I feel vulnerable and exposed. He seems to know me while I know next to nothing about him. It’s like he sees beyond the layers of clothing I wear and the façade I’ve built to protect myself.

“Does it matter?” he replies, his voice steady. “Let me be your distraction.”

I stare at him for what feels like an eternity, my mind racing. I’m torn, trying to decide my next move. Everything about him—his presence, his touch, the mystery that surrounds him—pullsme in, making it difficult to think clearly. Is it crazy to want to surrender to a masked stranger whose identity remains a secret?

Maybe it is. But then again, nothing about my life has felt normal since I stepped into this academy. So, I decide to follow every instinct that’s urging me forward. There’s no turning back now.

I reach for the back of his neck, pulling him closer until our lips finally meet. I catch his bottom lip between mine, and he tastes like danger and darkness, like shadows and cool night air. It’s wild, and honestly, I can’t get enough of it.

I dive in for more, but he takes control, pressing me against the cold stone wall. He grips my hair, tilting my head back to deepen the kiss, his tongue parting my lips to intertwine with mine. His other hand wraps around my throat, lingering there as if to stake a claim. I close my eyes, barely able to breathe, as the world blurs around us. My world shatters and then rearranges itself into something different, something better, leaving me yearning for more than he’s giving me.

Despite being a stranger, it feels as if our souls have intertwined, stripping me of all my worries and shattering every guard I’ve built. Before him, I am completely bare. But just as quickly as it began, it ends. As I open my eyes, I’m left gasping for breath, and find only fading darkness in front of me.

Alone now, I’m left with a haunting question circling my mind—who the hell was that man?

Fourteen

LILITH

The blood moonhangs ominously above the thick canopy of trees, its crimson glow spilling eerie light across the forest. My heart races in my chest as memories flood back to the last time I stood here before my Shadowing. I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid returning eventually, but every fiber of my being is screaming against it.

Once our Shadows are awakened, we have to train to control and tame them, which means facing the forest again—something every student must do.

My attention shifts to Headmistress Bennett as she strides toward me, her expression one of cold indifference. It’s clear she doesn’t care about what happened during my Shadowing, nor does she seem concerned about what might happen now. It’s strange, considering Simon and Vaughn must have filled her in on what they know, even if I’ve been careful not to share the whole story. Something about her feels off—something I can sense deep in my bones.

“I understand there was an isolated incident the last time you awakened your Shadow,” she says coolly. “Since then, we’ve searched the forest and found no disturbances. But just in case,Simon will accompany you today. He won’t interfere with your training, but he’ll be there to protect you if necessary.”

Her words do little to ease my anxiety. The memory of that menacing darkness still lingers in my mind, that strange voice speaking like itknewme. I doubt anyone can protect me from it. But I know that facing my fear is an important part of learning how to control my Shadow, and it did seem to know what to do all on its own last time. Maybe this time won’t be so bad… maybe.

“Duly noted. Thank you,” I reply, forcing a steadiness into my voice that barely masks my fear.

I scan the small group around me, looking for Tony. Even though he can’t physically assist me with this task, I could really use a pep talk… or even a hug. It feels especially daunting with only the two of us, the Headmistress, and her lackeys—whatever she considers them to be—standing out here.

Normally, all the first-years would be here with us, but for some reason, the Headmistress has singled out Tony and me, making us feel a bit isolated. He catches my eye and gives me a reassuring smile, accompanied by a thumbs-up as he mouths, “You got this.” Not quite a pep talk, but it’ll do.

Taking a shaky breath to steady my nerves, I say, “I’ll go first.” Anxiety floods my body, making me feel like I could explode at any moment. But there’s no turning back now; I just want to get it over with.

My gaze shifts to Simon, who gives me a reassuring nod. I’m grateful it’s him accompanying me instead of Vaughn. If it were Vaughn… well, a part of me thinks I’d rather be swallowed by the darkness than be alone with him. I’m not acknowledging the other part of me that’s attracted to him. Nope, not going there.

Shuffling my feet slowly into the forest, I’m instantly enveloped by its eerie stillness. My ears strain to catch any hint of movement or life around me, but everything is silent exceptfor the sound of my heavy breaths. Even Simon is quiet. The only voice I’m hoping to hear is the one that spoke to me last time I was here. Shaking out my hands, I force my feet to move forward again.

A branch snaps behind me, and I whip around, purple sparks of magic flickering to life in my hands on instinct. I brace for an attack, but I struggle to summon my powers. It’s like they’re weakened here, sluggish, and slow to respond. Fuck. That’s not good.

Simon emerges from the shadows, hands raised to calm me down. My shoulders relax slightly at his presence.

“Hey, it’s me,” he whispers, scanning the trees before locking his gaze back on me. “Everything seems in order. If you notice anything unusual—anything I can’t see—let me know, and I’ll take care of it.”

I swallow hard, recalling the day he suddenly darted off during our training session, chasing after… something. I never found out what it was, but I have a sinking feeling it wasn’t anything good.

There’s been a lot of talk lately about the Rogues targeting focal points. Part of me hopes that’s all this is—a Rogue messing with my head. If so, Simon can handle it, and I can put this behind me and focus on my training to become a Protector.

But deep down, I know it’s more complicated than that. No one else was there with me; they can’t understand the terror of that presence or how certain I was that it wanted to kill me. It spoke to me, almost as if it recognized me. The fact that I can’t fully explain whatitwas makes everything worse. Who would believe me?

“You can’t seriously believe everything is in order,” I mutter, still on edge. What even counts asorderin a place like this? The forest is a chaotic blend of wild, ancient magic—there’s no such thing asorderhere. “I need some space to summon my Shadow.I can’t focus with you hovering around,” I blurt out before he can respond.

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