Page 32 of The Tryst

Butterflies turned somersaults in my belly because his tone sounded grave, and I wondered what’s going on. Mom was at church and Dad’s passed out from an all-night bender, so I sat on the front porch and waited for Trey.

When his truck pulled into my driveway, I stood up and wiped the seat of my jeans, my hands sweaty from nerves. As soon as Trey stepped out of the truck, I knew something was seriously wrong. His face was etched with worry, his green eyes clouded with sorrow.

“What’s the matter?” I demanded as I shot down the steps, my heart pounding. I had never seen him like this before and my fear was that someone was dead. “Is everyone okay?”

“Everyone’s fine,” he reassured me as he met me halfway across the front yard. He took my elbow and tugged me back toward the porch. “But we need to talk.”

We sat on the top step I’d just vacated. Trey rested his elbows on his thighs, his hands hanging loose and his head bowed as if he needed to collect his thoughts.

“You’re scaring me,” I said with a nervous laugh.

Trey raised his head, lacing his fingers together and brought his tortured eyes to mine. “Wade’s in love with you.”

I blinked. “He’s what?”

“In love with you.” The words sounded bitter and Trey’s lip actually curled in disdain. “Told me last night he’d been harboring feelings for you for a very long time. He wants to ask you out on a date.”

Part of me wanted to laugh, but I didn’t because I could see how conflicted Trey was about this. I was also a bit wary, because I didn’t understand why he was here to talk about it. “You went ahead and told him we were together, right?”

I knew the answer by the flash of regret in Trey’s eyes and he shook his head. “I actually told him he should ask you out.”

“What the hell, Trey!” I exclaimed before bolting off the porch and turning to face him with fury. “You’ve put me in a bad position… making me be the one to have to turn him down so you don’t look like the bad guy.”

“I’m not going to be the bad guy,” Trey whispered, his voice raw. “Because I’m not going to be in the picture.”

I felt like my world was turning upside down, everything that was good going to shit. “What do you mean, you’re not going to be in the picture? We’re supposed to tell your family about us tonight. We were finally going to be a couple to the outside world. And now… you’re saying you don’t want that? You want to continue the secret?”

Trey shook his head again, pushing off the porch and coming to stand before me. “I’m saying that I cannot stand in the way of my brother if he has feelings for you. That I’m going to remove myself from the equation.”

Fury raged through me. “Again, so I can be the bad guy. So Wade comes to me, confesses feelings and asks me out, and I have to turn him down. Why is that, you ask? Because I fucking love his brother, that’s why. You honestly expect me to just forget about you and go out with him?”

Another shake of his head, as if he has this all figured out. “No, I know you’ll turn him down because you don’t care for him that way.”

“I’m so confused. What’s the point of this? Why didn’t you just tell him?”

“Because I can’t do that to him. I can’t stand in his way because he really cares for you.”

“And you don’t care for me?” I demanded.

“I love you,” he said sadly. “I always will. But I love my brother too, and he’s invested in some sort of idea with you. I know that won’t happen. I know you’re going to turn him down and that’s okay. I’d never expect you to do something you didn’t want to do. But when it boils down to it, Holland… I can’t continue on with you knowing my brother has feelings. Especially if we came out in the open. It would continually hurt him to see us together and I know he’d feel like a fool for telling me his feelings. I just can’t… I can’t hurt him that way.”

“But you can hurt me,” I whispered, the realization of what this really meant hitting me. “You’re choosing to prevent Wade’s bruised feelings over breaking my heart.”

“Don’t say it that way,” he growled.

“It’s true and you know it,” I yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You just don’t have the fucking guts to say it.”

“He’s my goddamn brother, Holland. You want me to say it? Then fine, I’m going to choose him right now. You didn’t hear him last night, how torn up he is about this. I can’t hurt him and I won’t. I thought you’d understand.”

“Understand?” I mocked with a bitter laugh. “Oh, I understand. It’s absolutely clear to me that you don’t have any integrity and that you’re selfish. On top of that you’re an utter liar.”

“I’m not a liar—”

“You are,” I snapped. “You told me you loved me. That you were my best friend. That we’d always be together and at the first sign of trouble, you bail. You’re a fraud, Trey Blackburn, and the thing that’s clearest to me right now is that I’m better off without you.”

Trey winced but I barreled past him, intent to head into the house and flop myself down on the bed so I could sob my eyes out in peace. I even braced that he might try to stop me to apologize, beg forgiveness, but he let me pass without a word. I didn’t look back as I raced up the steps and slammed the door behind me, unafraid it would wake my dad up. He was practically comatose on the couch.

The tears were soaking my pillow as I heard Trey’s truck pull out of the driveway. I stayed in my room the rest of the day and that evening, refusing to come out when my mom knocked. I told her I wasn’t feeling well, and I had no clue how Trey explained my absence from the Blackburn dinner table that evening. I’d received texts from Kat and Abby asking if I was okay, and I told them I was sick. Wade also texted and was disappointed he couldn’t see me before I left the next day, but the last thing I wanted to handle was his feelings. I was mired too deeply in my own.

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