Page 69 of The Tryst

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say, holding up a hand. “What the hell are you talking about?” Trey opens his mouth, but I shake my head. “No, wait… start with my original question… why are you here?”

His slight smile melts and his jaw tightens. His eyes bore into me with a seriousness I’ve never seen from him before. It’s something more than the regret of when he broke up with me the first time, and far more profound than when we ended things after Wade died.

Trey sighs, leans forward, and his eyes bore into me. “Nothing sounds right.” He rubs his hand across his jaw, his expression frustrated. “I’ve practiced my apology over and over again, and it sounds too trite. Like… there’s nothing I can say tomake up for the hurt I’ve caused you, not once, but twice. So why am I here? I’m here to try to find the right words to get you back and I’m coming up short. All I could think was to just tell you I’ll move here and then I’ll pester you, eventually charm you, into taking me back.”

I shouldn’t be amused by him pouring out his angst but the way he ends on an even bigger sigh has my lips twitching. He doesn’t see it though, instead taking my hand in his and peering at it. “I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I let my guilt and grief cloud my judgment, and I pushed you away. I thought I was doing the right thing each time, but I was wrong. So fucking wrong, and I don’t even have anything to offer for you to trust me again. I’ve fucked up twice and yet, here I am, asking for another chance. Honest to God, Holland, you should be running away from me right now. I lost you due to my own stupidity and misplaced sense of right and wrong, and—”

“You didn’t lose me,” I say.

“What?” His eyes are wide, disbelieving. “Say that again.”

“You didn’t lose me,” I repeat, stronger this time. “I was waiting for you to come to your senses. I’ve been waiting for you to call and tell me you’d made a mistake. I didn’t expect you to fly here and hit me with an apology, but I expected one. I think I knew deep down that you and I weren’t done, but I didn’t know how long it would take you to get your head out of your ass.”

“You knew I would come to my senses?”

“Hoped,” I clarify.

“How could you even have hope when I’ve already hurt you once?” he asks incredulously.

I lift a shoulder. “You’re a different person today than you were eleven years ago. And…” I hesitate, because this is scraping off the scab and leaving the wound bloody. “The circumstances for doing it are different.”

Trey’s eyes fill with pain as he nods in understanding. “The first time, I stood aside for Wade to have his chance. This time, I let Wade’s ghost dictate my actions.”

I wouldn’t have put it exactly that way, but we’re on the same page. I squeeze his hand. “I will have to say, I thought it would take longer. You can be quite stubborn. Who’s the one who talked sense into you? Fi? Kat?”

Trey snorts, rubs at his neck and gives me a sheepish grin. “Gabe.”

My jaw drops. “You’re kidding. I didn’t think you two even liked each other.”

“Well, let’s just say he’s grown on me a bit, but yeah… he showed up at my house day before yesterday. He said I wasn’t choosing Wade over you, but choosing Wade over myself. And it made me realize… I deserve to be happy. Not saying I still don’t feel guilty about Wade, but I’m going to get through it.”

“You do deserve to be happy.” I put my free hand on top of his, tears filling my eyes. “And I’m so sorry about Wade. You and I never even got to talk about him. We never got to process his death and grieve together.”

Trey scoots his chair over, reaches out and puts his hand to the back of my neck. He pulls me closer and rests his forehead against mine. I close my eyes, focus on the rawness of his voice. “I just couldn’t move past the thought I’d caused him to die.”

“You didn’t—”

“I know,” he assures me quietly, leaning back so he can look at me. “I know, and it’s taken me a bit of time to accept that. But I’m coming to grips with it. What I can’t seem to move past is the thought of a life without you, so coming back to my original suggestion… I’m willing to move here to Zurich if you’ll have me. I love you and I want to make my life with you, wherever that may be.”

Tears spill down my cheeks. “Kentucky,” I whisper and smile as understanding dawns on his face. “I want to go home, and I want us to live our lives together there. I’ll work the printshop or muck stalls at Blackburn or—”

Trey’s mouth crashes into mine, his hand now at the back of my head to hold me in place. But I’m not going anywhere, instead sinking into the kiss that tells me he very much likes my decision to go back to Kentucky.

He stands, pulling me into his arms, and we continue a long, tender kiss, not a care in the world for those watching us. For the first time in a long while, everything feels right. The pain and the guilt are still there, but so is the love, and it’s stronger than anything else.

Trey breaks the kiss, his gaze full of hope. “Let’s go home, Holland,” he says lovingly.

I press my lips to his, smiling as I murmur, “Yes. Let’s go home so we can start over.”

EPILOGUE

Holland

Ivow neverto take this for granted… the simple camaraderie of family.

We can no longer do Sunday dinner in the kitchen because there are simply too many of us now. With the permanent additions to the table of me, Gabe, Marcie and Sylvie, we’re now forced to sit in the formal dining room to accommodate us all.

That’s okay. As Fi says, “We’re starting new traditions.”

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