Page 50 of One Wild Night

I laughed and smacked at her shoulder. "I highly doubt that, but if you're sure it's okay, then yeah, I'll take the slot. I'm heading home after that, though. I need to do some thinking, and that's not going to happen while I'm here."

"I understand that," she said as she gave me a hug. "I'm going to head out soon, myself. When is Tony getting back from wherever he is?"

I shrugged my shoulders and rolled my eyes. "I don't know, and honestly, I don't care right now. We can talk about it later, though. Are you free for breakfast tomorrow?"

Libby nodded while answering, "Yep. The usual place?" I nodded, so she continued. "Is ten okay? You know how I hate getting up early."

I had to laugh because Libby was a bitch if she had to wake up earlier than nine. "Ten's fine. I'll see you in the morning."

"See ya," she responded, skipping off to take a quick shower and change before heading home.

The next thirty minutes were a blur. I got up and danced my number. Luckily, security actually did their job. No one came near me, which I was grateful for. After collecting my tips from the stage, I made my way to the locker room, slipped on my leather jacket, grabbed my purse, and headed out. Dancing usually helped me clear my head, but that didn't happen tonight. I had a major headache coming on, and all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and sleep.

When I got home, the mansion was quiet so I went straight up to the bathroom. I took my time in the shower, and when I got out, I tossed on a thin, silk camisole and a matching pair of sleep shorts. I wasn’t sure where Carlo was, but I knew he was somewhere nearby; he always was, and he always seemed to watch over me. Instead of that thought creeping me out like it once did, it brought me a strange sense of peace as I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the one man I couldn't have but so desperately wanted.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than I wanted to and was in dire need of coffee and a smoke. I made my way down to the kitchen, but paused outside Carlo’s office when I heard him talking.

"Vincent told me what happened last night, Ryan. You look like shit." I heard a humorless laugh before Carlo continued. "How's your hand?"

"I've had worse," Ryan responded, and I could just picture him shrugging his shoulders and playing it off. He was such a tough guy all the time.

Not wanting to listen to anything else, I made my way silently to the kitchen to start my coffee. A few minutes later, I was sitting at the table, enjoying my caffeine fix when Ryan walked in.

Carlo hadn’t been exaggerating when he said Ryan looked like shit. He had a black eye and a busted lip, but it was more than that. When he saw me, his shoulders slumped like a man who knew he had been defeated, and the sight of it made my chest constrict painfully.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Trixie. I'm just here to get some ice for my hand and then I'll be out of your way." He didn't even look at me as he spoke. Instead, he kept his head down and walked right up to the fridge. My demands for him to leave me alone obviously worked a little too well, and it made me sick to think I'd somehow hurt him. He was no longer radiating energy and cockiness; he was displaying resignation and hopelessness. I had done that to him. I had broken his spirit and put out his flame. Knowing that it was my fault broke my heart.

Without conscious thought, I rose from my place at the table and grabbed a dish towel from the sink before approaching him. I needed to fix this...to fix Ryan. The man in front of me was a stranger, not the man I secretly fell in love with. Wordlessly, I took the bag of cold peas from him and wrapped the dish towel around it before leading him back to the table.

I could feel his eyes burning into me as I turned back to the coffee pot to pour him a cup. He didn't say anything, and the tension in the air was almost suffocating.

Knowing this was entirely my fault, I took a deep breath and then turned around to face him.

"I'm..."

"Trix..." We both started at the same time and then stopped. Ryan's lips twisted in a small smile as he motioned for me to continue.

"I'm sorry, Ryan. I didn't mean any of that stuff I said last night. I was trying to do what was best for both of us. If we ever did anything behind Tony's back and he found out, he..." I let my words trail off as my eyes searched his, silently pleading with him to understand why I'd done what I had.

His eyes softened a little as he returned my gaze, and for a split second, I saw a flash of what looked like hope. "What doyouwant?"

Without hesitating, I answered him. "You, Ryan, I want you, but it can't happen.Wecan't happen. As much as we may want it to, as much as we both want to relive that weekend, we can't. We'd be signing our own death certificates if we allowed it. I don't want that for you. You deserve so much more than that."

"What if I don'twantbetter? I can't get you off my mind. You're all I think about. Fuck! I haven't even let the girls at the club suck my dick because all I can think about is you. You've ruined me for other women. It was supposed to be the other way around—I thought I could fuck you out of my system and be done with it—but it's not. I can't stop thinking about you, dreaming about you, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to control my thoughts or my actions anymore."

He sounded lost and it broke my heart. "I know it's hard, but you need to try...for both our sakes." Without another word, I leaned forward, gently kissed his swollen hand, then his bruised eye, and then, ever so softly, I kissed his busted lip. It was my way of showing him that I cared without going too far.

When I pulled away, his eyes were closed and his face was peaceful. The cocky Ryan I knew may not be back, but at least he wasn't the broken man who'd walked into the kitchen. "Goodbye, Ryan. I'll see you around."

He smiled my favorite crooked grin and winked at me. "See you around,Trixie."

With that, I walked out of the kitchen feeling much lighter. Things were finally starting to look up.

Tony got home from wherever the hell he was a few hours after my conversation with Ryan, and he said that he was taking me out for dinner tonight. He told me I needed to dress up and be ready by seven because he had reservations. Knowing I didn't have any choice, I spent the afternoon getting ready for a dinner I was surely going to hate.

It didn't surprise me to find Tony dressed in a tux and waiting for me downstairs.

He was always over the top when it came to everything, but this was a little extravagant even for him. Something was going on, and I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it.

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