Page 123 of A Bossy Roommate

“The whole going to see my doctor thing…”

“Auntie, what happened?” I feel like I’m missing something, like she’s holding back information. “Tell us everything.”

“I’m not really dealing with a medical issue.”

I sit there for a moment, stunned. Her words register, yet I can’t react until I process them. Eden looks as shocked as I feel, but then her lips quirk.

“What do you mean you aren’t dealing with a medical issue?” I demand.

“Okay, now, before you get angry, just know I had a perfectly good reason for faking poor health.”

Faking? She had been faking poor health this whole time? What in the world? “I should hope you have a good reason,” I try to keep the tension out of my voice. “Explain.”

“Cartie, you were consumed by work, never taking time for yourself. I knew you weren’t going to bring ‘your new wife’ to see me and I wanted to see you both so bad. I needed a serious enough reason for you to drop work. So, I told a little white lie.”

“That wasn’t a white lie, Auntie. A white lie is telling someone you like their shirt when you don’t. Pretending you have an illness is not a white lie, it’s a nightmare!”

She raises an eyebrow. “Look who’s talking.”

I huff. “Auntie, faking an illness can’t be compared to faking a wedding.”

“I beg to differ. I at least never, not once, said I was ill. I just implied it.”

“Stop being stubborn.”

“All right, maybe I shouldn’t have done it. But it worked, didn’t it?”

I’m speechless. Eden looks way too amused, as if she had suspected it all along. She grabs the phone. “Auntie, I’m glad you’re healthy, you’re wonderful, but don’t you do that ever again.”

“I only did it because I thought my nephew needed to be reminded that there were more important things than work. Now that you’re taking the plunge into the wonderful world of marriage, this old lady can finally retire from the ‘tying the knot’ business, right,mes chéris? It’s time for me to kick back, put my old feet up, and enjoy watching you two embark on your journey of eternal love!”

Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. She’d faked everything and had me worried sick for absolutely no reason. I want to be mad at her—hell, I feel like Ishouldbe mad at her. But honestly?I’m relieved she’s okay. A huge weight lifts off my shoulders, and I’m able to take a breath. I take the phone back from Eden.

“Despite the fact that you’re a crazy, wicked woman, I’m not angry,” I tell my aunt. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Me too! My goodness. Now, I know you two have work to do so I’ll leave you to it. Let’s do this video thingy again soon. Don’t forget to send me the date, time, and location as soon as you can. I love seeing your smiling faces. Say hi to Hattie for me.”

“Wait. That’s right. About Hattie—is that why you told her to stay put?”

“But of course! Nothing gets past you. And aren’t you glad I did? That and pretending to be unwell was the best idea I’ve ever had. You know I’m right. All right, gotta run. Bye, you two.Au revoir! À bientôt!”

“Bye, Auntie.”

We hang up, and Eden and I sit there in stunned silence. Eventually, my eyes meet hers. “I…have no words.”

“She’s a trip.”

All of this, the fake marriage to Eden to give my aunt closure, everything we’d gone through when she was here, it had all happened because of Aunt Eleanor’s “illness,” and it turns out that that “illness” didn’t exist. Part of me is utterly relieved, part of me is still in disbelief.

“I can’t believe we went through all that hard work,” Eden says, “and she turned around and conned us. We can’t even be mad at her.”

“We honestly can’t.”

“Dear God, now I know where you got it from.”

That makes me chuckle, it’s so damn ridiculous. Eden’s right. My aunt and I had played the same game on each other. She’d faked being sick to draw me away from work and try to show me happiness, and I’d faked being married to make sure she was happy. Eden joins in laughing, and before I know it, we’reboth cracking up—more from the ease of nerves and the sheer liberation that Aunt Eleanor is fine.

Eden wipes the tears from her eyes, still chuckling. “My God, does the universe have a twisted sense of humor.”

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