Page 67 of A Bossy Roommate

A door opens and closes, and I look up to see Eden coming down the hall. She’s wearing her brown hair in a high ponytail and looks pretty in her orange summer dress, the same one she wore on the day we first met. No, not pretty. She looks spectacular.

I only realized I’m staring when Aunt Eleanor chuckles. “Ohoohoo. Look at that lovestruck face,” she teases, pinching my cheek.

Eden approaches with a smile. I lean toward her, indicating that I’m expecting a kiss on my lips as she joins us at the table. She leans down and obliges, giving me what I asked for. Am I an asshole using the situation to my advantage? Yes, yes, I am.

“Did you have a good rest, Auntie?” Eden rubs my aunt’s shoulder, her face a little flushed as she sits down.

“Please, I haven’t had a restful sleep since I was forty-four. Only to be young again.” My aunt looks back at me. “Cartie, you haven’t shown me the marriage license! In my day, we used to have them proudly on display.”

There it is.

Eden’s eyes meet mine, shock written all over her features.

In the back of my mind, I hoped Auntie wouldn’t ask and Eden had a better poker face, but I should have known better. “Let me get it.”

“And bring the wedding photos too!” my aunt demands.

Giving a calming glance to Eden, I get up and go over to the neat pile of mail and papers on the kitchen counter. There, I grab my tablet. Auntie is forgetful. She won’t remember if I distract her long enough.

My aunt’s eyes light up when she sees our marriage photos, and I can see a tear or two slide down her cheek. “Oh, will you look at that?” She gives me a radiant smile. “My little Cartie is finally married. Gosh, you’re even smiling in this one.” She looks at me. “Why didn’t you print them out and assemble a wedding album? This one, where you stepped on her dress, is hilarious!”

I was glad I hadn’t sorted it out. It’s the one photo that feels the most genuine, real. For our situation it’s more than ideal—it makes the whole wedding believable. “Well, I figured if we put them in an album, especially that one, I’d have a constant reminder of my legendary move.”

“Exactly. It is the perfect antidote to a bad day! Right, Eden?”

“I’m glad my wedding day included some comedy,” Eden says happily. “I’ll forever cherish it.”

After my aunt looks through all of the photos, she hands my tablet back. “Carter, now the marriage certificate.”

“I’m hungry!” Eden blurts, suddenly drawing our attention, hand on her belly. “Babe, when do you think we can put that food order in?”

“Oh, how silly of me,” Aunt Eleanor says. “Carter, feed your wife. Of course! I am sure she is famished. After all, a woman in her condition needs sustenance.”

I furrow my brow in confusion, putting the tablet down. “What condition?”

“You know…” Aunt Eleanor leans in for a loud whisper, saying, “In afamilyway.”

She beams at us. Then she gives us a playful wink, as if sharing a secret joke.

I give Eden a look. She seems as baffled as I am. “What are you talking about?”

“That’s why you two married after such a short time, isn’t it?” she asks. “Because of the baby?”

Eden’s cheeks turn bright red, and she bursts into laughter. I put my face in my hand. I thought I’d given her a convincing enough story and a decent timeline, but she has a wild imagination.

“Auntie, I think you have the wrong idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not pregnant,” Eden speaks up. “That’s not why we got married.”

Aunt Eleanor huffs. “Oh, don’t you try to pull the wool over my eyes. I told you I am as sharp as a tack. It is the twenty-first century, and I am well aware life is different than it was in my day. I am not here to judge.”

“Seriously, Auntie,” I insist. “Eden isn’t pregnant. We didn’t get married because of a baby.”

“Well, why not?” Eleanor asks. She looks over at Eden. “What are you two waiting for? When we talked earlier, I thought you said you wanted children?”

Goddammit, Eden.I give Eden a look that says: I was clear about what topics to stay away from when talking to my aunt. Children and babies were two of them.

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