Page 74 of Crown of Ellova: Vol 1

“They are not fully matured yet. Thankfully we don’t need them for another few weeks. They will need to be watered once a day ’til we harvest them.”

“What is the fourth ingredient?” Leon asks, his reassuring hand lightly stroking my back.

“It’s an underwater plant,” Tavien answers. “It only grows in a few places, any body of water that comes from the Airvell River. I looked at a few maps. Quartzridge has a spring that should have enough, at least while we test the first batch. I figured since we have to go there for one of the crowning ceremonies, we can wait ’til then.”

When the excitement wears off and the stars in the sky fade, we realize the late hour and make our way off the floor. I take the hand Leon offers me, but stumble when I try to stand. He wastes no time and lifts me off the ground, ignoring my gasp of surprise, arms behind my knees and back, heading to our rooms.

Tavien and Nueena chuckle and follow behind us.

I would protest the unnecessary assistance, but with no fight left in me, the weariness that has wrapped itself around my bones leaves only the desire to pull him closer as he ushers me into our rooms. Nueena pulls the blankets down on my bed and Leon lays me down so gently he must think I’m made of glass.

Nueena turns off the lights above and they both wish me good night as they leave. I hear them murmuring in the next room. The library light next to me blinks out a few moments later after a rustle of clothing and the creak of Leon’s bed.

The emotions of the night are still warring within me, an ache in my body from forcing the lock open, the weight of knowing death awaits. Hope fades like a sunset on my worst day; bitterness has replaced what little there was.

“Once the crown has chosen one worthy to wear it, it will cease its havoc on Adreania.”

One worthy to wear it.

Itallowedme to wear it, but that does not make me worthy to control it. After every king’s death, it was passed on to another unworthy man. The only difference is its hue on my head and that magic can flow out of it now. Not that I can control that. I imagine a worthy person would be able to control it once again, wield its magic the way Inara once did. I curl in on myself under the blankets. Wouldn’t being the kin of its maker mean anything to the crown? It might not find me worthy, but at the very least, is it too much to ask it not to kill me too?

Will the crown even let me live long enough to see the elixir heal the mortals? To see Nueena’s coronation? Or will the magic have demand more than I can give, taking my life in its place?

The bed is as empty and cold as I feel despite the pleasant night air that the open window brings in.

I lower the wards, granting access into my bedroom. “Leon?” I say it so quietly I do not think he hears, but he appears. The small light that follows above reveals him to be shirtless with low soft pants.

“I’m here.” He kneels beside my bed.

Sorry, I know we agreed we would just be friends, but I want to sleep in your arms again and do not wish to be alone, but worry not if you do not want to be bothered.

“Will…will you stay with me tonight? Only if you wish, of course. It’s just that everything hurts and—” I don’t know what else to say. I’m one hundred and thirty-three years old for fuck’s sake; I should be able to sleep by myself. I’m quite well-practiced at it.

Before I can finish, he sits on the bed, swinging his leg over. I use the last of my energy to move, giving him space. He lies down, the bed sinking before me, but he keeps his distance.

I am too weary to play this chivalrous game with him and move to practically lie across his bare chest. His deep rumble shakes me when he laughs at my boldness.

Leon’s skin is soft and warm, and his muscles flex under me. He pulls me closer and entwines his legs in mine, holding me. He slips his hand under my top to rub sweet circles on my back. I’m overwhelmed with the sweetness of the intimacy; just his presencesoothes my troubled heart. It floods my body with warmth even as I’m reminded why I need his comfort tonight.

“I had placed so much hope on Alvina having left behind some way to remove the crown in that book, but it confirmed my fear that we might not be able to find a way to end this curse without—” I can’t even say it. I thought I had hundreds of years left. Not a life as long as Nueena’s or Tavien’s, but another few centuries with them. Time to travel and create beautiful jewelry, to dance under the golden glow of the Gem Court’s temple, and dine on fresh seafood in the Court of Shells’ summer festivals. To see Nueena become the great leader she was always meant to become, a Realm Keeper who ruled with grace and justice, mercy and compassion. To watch her and Tavien celebrate their Zemra union every year under the stars for decades to come.

To maybe find love one day.

I sit up quickly with tears in my eyes. “What are we waiting for?” I ask him. My words have a hysterical edge to them. I reach for the band around his waist but his hands cover mine, stopping me.

“Izadella, what are you doing?” His grip tightens when I try to undo the laces.

“What’s the point of only being friends if this crown is just going to kill me? It’ll probably happen before the magic drives you mad. I want you. I always have, and you desire me, too. I've seen the way you have looked at me for years.”

He hardens beneath my frantic touch and makes no move to deny it.

I lean down and press my lips over and over again to his chest, looking up at him. “Let’s be together, even if it’s just for tonight. Maybe it’s all the time we will have.” I have given him so many reasons why we shouldn’t be together but now I can’t seem to remember them.

They seem so unimportant here in the dark with death and madness hovering nearby.

I grind against him when he will not let go of my hands. His groan fills the space and suddenly I am flipped onto my backbeneath him. One of his arms is under mine keeping his weight off me, one leg between my thighs. With his free hand he wipes the tear that is tumbling down my face. When my face is free of my obvious pain, he kisses each cheek. Not a quick, friendly peck, but the one only a lover can give. Slow and tender, like his touch.

“As tempting as it is, I will not take you with tears in your eyes.” He moves some of my curls away from my face.

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