Page 56 of Highland Queen

Once the fire was burning steadily, I opened Epona’s cupboard and had a look. The rations were paltry.

“Epona, do you want me to ask Madelaine to send some supplies?”

“Yes. Yes, that would be fine. Ask Madelaine to get some things for us,” she said then went to the bin where she used to keep the bread. It was empty. Epona gazed at the empty container as if she was confused.

I pulled out some oats and honey. Digging through Epona’s stores, I found a few fresh eggs. I got to work mixing up the batter for breakfast cakes while Epona set out cups.

“Why are you here, Cerridwen?” Epona asked.

“As I said, I came to see Crearwy. But with Tavis ill, I had to fetch Druanne. Unfortunately, that also means I must return very soon. Madelaine will need me.

“And why else?”

I sighed softly. “Epona, I need your guidance.”

“About what?”

“A seer told me I am with child.”

Epona’s gaze narrowed. She looked at my stomach. “And are you with child?”

“I believe so. My courses have not come. And I do feel the quickening in my womb.”

“Macbeth’s or Banquo’s child?”

“Banquo’s, of course. What should I do?”

Epona stared at me, her eyes looking misty. She sighed. “I’m sorry, Cerridwen. I cannot say. The sight has left me.”

Her words struck me to my core. “But Epona, Crearwy is far too young to be the leader of this coven. Why have you let go so soon? Crearwy is not ready.”

“I was letting go a little at a time. And then one morning, I woke up and my magic was gone,” she said, opening her hands.

“Gone?”

“Just like that. No visions. No glamour. No anything. Now there is only my mind and my hands. They will have to be enough to serve me in the days ahead.”

“But what will we do?”

“Uald is ready to lead this place until Crearwy is of age. The others know the way.”

“I love Uald, but she is not like you. The gods don’t speak to her as they speak to you.”

Epona laughed. There was bitterness in her voice that I’d never heard before. “The gods don’t speak to me anymore. As for your unborn child, I don’t know. And I am sorry for it. I never saw you with another child in my visions.”

“Epona, I have something else to ask.”

“Hmm?”

“The night I came here after…after what happened. You saw that I would bear two children. But did you see, clearly and for certain, that Duncan was their father? Please. Try to remember.”

Epona sat down. She tapped her fingers on the table as she looked into the fire. “That night was so strange. Full of omens. Before you returned, the skies raged. Wolves howled. The owls and ravens shrieked. But the vision…” she said, squinting as she looked into the flames. “I saw two children. Clearly. And I knew that your daughter would come here. She had to. I saw Crearwy grow in this place. I saw her make things right for us again. I saw you carrying twins.”

“But then? Right then? Was I with child at that moment?”

“At that moment…”

“Epona, I did as you advised me. I took Gillacoemgain to bed at once. Crearwy looks so much like Gillacoemgain’s sister. And Lulach’s smile… Is it possible the visions you had—the visions I had—were confused? Deluded? Is it possible that Lulach and Crearwy really are Gillacoemgain’s children?”

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