Page 105 of Redeem Me

‘I gave him an ultimatum,’ I whisper. ‘I told him if he picked revenge over redemption, then that would be it for us.’

I cradle my forehead in my hands.

‘Did it occur to you that he might need to take revenge to find redemption? That the two are intricately interwoven?’

‘I hoped I would be enough.’ I hang up before Scarlett can hear the sobs that wrack my body.

An hour passes with no word from anyone. I put on a brave face. Dress the kids, read to them, play with them in the garden. I plaster on a smile and blink back the tears threatening my eyes while I label every single item of stationery ready for school tomorrow, wondering if their father will return home to see them start the new term.

What if he does something stupid and the guards take him away?

What if Danny Bourke fights back?

What if he doesn’t?

What if Caelon returns and pretends everything is okay, as if nothing has happened?

Will I follow through with my threat of ending it between us?

Can I live with someone capable of such vengeance and violence?

And if the answer is yes, then what does that say about me?

That I’m just as dark and tortured as the man I’m in love with?

Dread leaks into my limbs, making them as heavy as my heart.

‘Are you okay?’ Liz asks, as she cleans up the breakfast dishes.

I swallow the lump of emotion clogging my throat.

I spent the night praying to every god I don’t believe in making my boyfriend – or is it ex-boyfriend– come to his senses. It’s like living in one of my mafia romances, only the reality is nowhere near as sexy as the fantasy.

‘No, Liz, I’m not.’ I sink against the kitchen countertop, gripping it for support. I squint out of the huge windows overlooking the pristinely manicured lawn. The kids are outside bouncing around with Roxy, blissfully oblivious to the devastation their father is wreaking on all of us.

‘Lover’s tiff?’ She cocks her head to the side in a rare show of sympathy.

‘It’s a bit more than that, unfortunately,’ I confess.

She puts down a pan she’s drying and tosses the tea towel to one side. ‘Don’t give up on him.’

Our eyes meet. Hers crinkled at the edges, mine wide and watery. ‘I’m afraid it’s him that’s giving up on me.’

‘I don’t believe that.’ She places a hand on my arm. ‘These past couple of months, he’s burst back to life.’ She pauses for a beat. ‘Youbrought him back to life.’

I shake my head. ‘I think there’s a part of him that’s gone for good.’

‘Isn’t there a part of all of us like that?’ She steps closer. ‘Haven’t you ever lost anyone you cared about? Are any of us the same afterwards?’

My mind flicks to Katie. Specifically, the weeks and months following her death. I was a child, but the weight of my grief still hangs heavy today. I’ve had the best part of twenty years to deal with it. Caelon’s had two. And while Katie died of an illness, Isabella’s death was violent and cruel. I can understand Caelon’s desire for vengeance, but I can’t understand him acting on it.

His grief doesn’t give him the right to play God.

If only he’d see sense through his pain.

‘He loves you, you know,’ Liz says wistfully. ‘I see the way he gravitates around you. Like you’re his entire world. Don’t let it slip through your fingers. Whatever he’s done, it’s not too late.’

Maybe it isn’t. Maybe he hasn’t done the unthinkable yet.

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