Page 13 of Wrapped Up in Holly

“Yeah.”

“How’d it go?”

“Amazing!”

He laughed. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I was so scared, but once I got out there, it was like… I don’t know how to describe it. I felt free.”

“Well, I’m proud of you. That’s really?—”

“You know how our runway shows sometimes have industry people at them? Tonight there was a woman from a modeling agency, and she pulled me aside after. She wants to sign me!”

“Wow. Really?”

“Yes! Can you believe it?” I was hopping around my bed now. I’d never seen myself as a model. Always too tall, too skinny, hair too long, eyes too big. When I was little, kids called me Bug Eyes, and once I’d moved, my cousins called me Stick Bug, which eventually turned into Stink Bug, so I was self-conscious abouthow I smelled. At one point, they had me so paranoid, I was showering and washing my hair twice a day.

“Wow,” Evan said again, but it was barely audible and completely flat. And my heart sank.

“I guess… I don’t have to… I…”

“I’m sorry,” he muttered and then with more feeling, “I’m so excited for you. Really.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Promise. I was just… I was taken by surprise. But it’s incredible. Do you want to do this? You want to be a model?”

“Yeah. It’s an incredible opportunity. Besides, you know I’m not doing very well in school.”

Turned out I was a better seamstress than designer. My friends all loved me because I could help them with their projects, but I struggled with what my professors called “vision.”

“Micki—that’s her name—Micki Tapper said I’d have no problem getting jobs as long as I kept walking like I did tonight.”

“That’s amazing,” he said quietly, back to that flat tone. “I can’t believe it. I mean… I can believe it. You’re beautiful. Of course you can model, but… You know…”

I did know. How did a bug-eyed girl from Akron, Ohio, belong strutting on a runway? She didn’t.

“It made me feel seen,” I confessed to Evan, and it was a long time before he answered.

“I see you, Holly. I always have.”

I hated that I made him think he wasn’t good enough. I’d already surprised him once when I’d admitted two years ago that I didn’t want to go to Ohio State. Now, I was doing it again, inadvertently telling him he wasn’t enough.

“I know,” I said. “I know you have, and I love you. I’ve always loved you, but I meant that she sees me as something more than…” I scrubbed my hand over my cheek. “You know I’ve always struggled with confidence, and fashion was the only thingthat made me feel close to my mom. Having this opportunity, it… I guess, it brings it all together. You know?”

He breathed deep enough that I heard it on my end. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Are you?” I still wasn’t convinced.

“Yes.” He huffed. “But I’d like to see some of these photos of you. To get the whole picture.”

“Really?”

He huffed again. “Yeah. Why are you so surprised? I need to see my beautiful girl. Send them to me.”

My face flamed in embarrassment, even though we were only on the phone. “Right now?”

“Yeah, right now. Send them.”

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