Page 57 of High Stakes

I scoff, “That was good of him,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I’m on your side, Bella. Trust me, I told your dad exactly what I thought of him. But when I saw the amountof this, I took it, because you deserve it after what those fuckers did.”

“No amount of money will make it right,” I snap. “I don’t want anything from any of them. Accepting that cheque will make them feel better. But it won’t erase what they did.”

“You’re right,” she agrees. “It won’t. And maybe you taking it will ease their guilt, and we don’t want that because they deserve to feel bad. But this money could make such a difference in your life. You could buy the florist and make it yours. It will be your future.”

“Paid for by the man who has destroyed me,” I cry, feeling tears building.

“Exactly. Nothing will take away what he did. If you cash this, it doesn’t change anything except your opportunities. When will you ever get this chance again?”

I sigh heavily, “I feel so ashamed,” I whisper. “And it doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t shake it.”

“You did nothing wrong, Bella,” she says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

I side eye her, “Didn’t I? I slept with him. I knew his plan and I still went ahead. I could have stopped him at any time, but I chose to stay quiet.” My words come out on a choked sob.

“Sometimes we do things we wouldn’t usually do when we’re under extreme distress or pressure. You just found out his plan and it shook your world, you weren’t thinking.”

I shake my head angrily. “I’m as bad as him.”

“No you’re not,” she cries, “Don’t you dare blame yourself.”

“I wanted rid of my virginity.”

“Because it was causing you so much trouble. No wonder.”

“But I gave it to him,” I yell, “Why did I do that?”

She shrugs sadly, “I don’t know, Bella.”

“Because . . .” I sniffle, hating my next words, “Even after everything, I wanted him to get his stupid fucking club. He went to so much trouble, I thought how important it must be for him. So, I went through with it for him.”

“Oh Bells,” she whispers, hugging me harder. “You fell in love, no one can blame you for that.”

“I hate myself for giving a shit,” I sob.

“You can’t just turn your feelings off, even when they don’t deserve them.”

“JP?” I guess.

She shrugs, “I want to hate him,” she admits.

“Aria, please don’t avoid him because of me and Aiden.”

“I can’t be with a man that supports that sort of behaviour,” she says firmly.

“Have you heard from him?” I ask, wiping my own eyes.

“Yeah. He’s got a lot on, and he seems to want to vent to me. Even when I make it clear I don’t care, or I don’t want to know. He said I’m the only one he can talk to about how he feels.”

“Pity he didn’t feel that way before,” I say, and she nods in agreement.

“If it helps, Aiden is totally off the rails. Drinking, not running the business.”

“Good,” I mutter. “I’m glad he’s suffering.” And I ignore the twist in my heart.

Cal picks me up and I fill him in about my first day back. And later, as we cook dinner together, I tell him about the cheque.

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