Page 34 of Shadow Man

“What have you done to her?” I scream.

“Only what was necessary… The next time I say Gustavo’s name, things won’t be so pleasant for your betrayer.” Fernandez smiles down at me. “What was it you said about humanity? Do you practice what you preach, American Girl? Are you going to sit by and watch Gustavo destroy her lying pussy? I should warn you; Sebastian may insist on a turn as well.”

The secondsicariolaughs. The first already has his belt undone.

“So, what’s it to be?” His expression switches temperature to match his touch. “Destroyed pussy, or a name?”

“I’m telling the truth—”

A beat later, he has my chin in a vice and his moustache is scratching more fear into my cheek. I try to turn away again, grappling to reach the place I always run to when my life tips into a horror show. But I can’t find the passageway. I’m suspended in the here and now. There’s no hope of an escape for me tonight, in my head or otherwise.

He reels off instructions to the second man who checks that the front door is bolted and runs the blinds down. “Looks like there’ll be two destroyed pussies in the house,” he announces, marking his ownership of me by licking the entire length of my cheek this time—his tongue so wet, rough and gross I have to frantically swallow the bile down to stop from puking all over his five-hundred dollar shoes. “Gustavo.”

Over his shoulder, I catch a flash of flailing limbs. Vi’s woken to resume the fight, but it’s too late. He’s too strong for her, and her harsh cries soon turn to helpless whines.

Like me in that basement.

Like all those times in that basement.

“Consider your debt cancelled.” Fernandez laughs as her white panties get ripped away.

I close my eyes as the grunts begin, a single tear leaking down my cheek.

“Watch it,” he orders, wrenching my jaw sideways. “Get yourself wet on it. I won’t be as gentle as Gustavo.”

“Stop, please stop—”

His grip on me tightens. “And why would I do a thing like that?”

I stare up at him and feel myself tipping.It’s his smirk that does it: those thin red lips painted in shades of triumph. They all wear it—the abusers, the rapists… It’s a mask for their sick seesaw of power; where the wrong side comes crashing down and women like us are left flailing about for survival. These are the ones who live without humanity. The ones who don’t see a woman; only a vessel to break, abuse and control.

The dam finally bursts inside of me. I see it all now. I see exactly what they did to me in that basement.And it hurts.It’s hurts so badly that it numbs me to the man with his hand wrapped around my jaw. It deadens me to the consequences as I reach inside his jacket for his gun and click off the safety before he even realizes. And then I do what I’ve been dreaming of for six long months. I smile as I point the trigger at him and pump three punishingly loud rounds into the bastard’s stomach, leaving my arm aching from the recoil.

“Fuck you, bitch!” screams Fernandez, going down hard, but I’m too busy aiming the muzzle at the secondsicarioas he’s still cursing and reaching for his gun.

Again, I’m too quick for him. A spray of crimson explodes from the back of his head, messing up Vi’s squeaky-clean shelves.

The power is all in my hands now.And damn it feels good.I’m not numb anymore; I’m drunk on it. Fucking loaded. Meanwhile, Gustavo has pushed Vi away from him, but I shoot to kill while his dick’s still hanging out of his pants.

Five bullets to change a life.

Five bullets to calm the storm.

Let’s make it six…

Fernandez isn’t dead yet. He’s dying as loudly as possible at my feet. I don't know much Spanish, and now isn't a good time to learn more. I kneel down beside him, my hand completely steady as I point his own gun at his head, and then I reveal my truth to him,

“I’m running fromEl Asesino, you rapist motherfucker,” I tell him, watching his eyes grow wide with shock before they’re dimming for good. “But I’ll never run from men likeyouagain.”

14

Anna

“Anna, we need to get the hell out of here.” There’s a frantic tugging on the back of my T-shirt. “Anna, did you hear me? We have to get our shit together and leavenow!”

It takes me a second to drag my eyes away from the smoking gun and the gaping hole where Alberto Fernandez’s head used to be. Vi’s standing right behind me. Her face is a mess of tears and blood. The front of her white dress is in the same state. She’s already clutching her keys and purse.

How long have I been kneeling here?I stare down at the gun again. It’s like it appeared from thin air. I don't recognize the bitten fingernails wrapped around the grip.Do I make it a lucky seven?I glance back at Vi. She’s the one who dragged me into this mess, but I can't bring myself to hate her anymore. I guess I annihilated that emotion when I shot down three Colombian criminals in cold blood.

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