Page 33 of The Wickedness of Man

For a brief moment, the paranoia that all of this was some kind of weird, hidden camera show popped into my head. My pulse went into a double-time beat as I considered… what if my parents had set it all up to teach me a lesson? What if they’d organized this whole thing so that when they tried to have me committed to the Church psychiatric ward, I would sound like a crazy person?

Yes, doctor, I went to a sex doctorwho made out with me, but then I passed out and woke up in a room with a man who had a gun, and I ripped his clothes off and demanded he have sex with me, but it’s okay because as it turns out, I’m a succubus!

What worried me worse was that it mightnotactually be some kind of crazy scheme. That I really had just met a man in some random condominium, and I’d come so hard from imagining what him being inside of me would feel like that he had to help me stand up, and then we’d just… done the real thing.

While part of me was terrified about what my parents were they going to do to me when—if—they discovered what I’d done, I couldn’t help but recall that feral look in Caleb’s eyes as he’d taken me, and how I’d melted into his rough embrace. I’d never imagined that sex could feel anything like that, and now that I knew… I pressed a hand to my stomach again; it wouldn’t stop fluttering. Was it nerves? Fear of discovery or the consequences I’d been warned of my whole life?

Or was it perhaps the fiendishly delighted part of me that recognized that if Caleb showed back up right now, I’d want him to do every part of that to me again?

How could you have been so stupid!I chided myself.What if you get pregnant? Try hidingthatfrom the OB in a month, or from your parents every Sunday for the rest of your life!

Despite Mother and Father’s religious zealotry, I wasn’t about to give the whole “immaculate conception” thing a go. It might have worked for Mary and other mythological deities, but then again, ironically, the reason they’d gotten away with it was probably because they didn’t have lunatic Christians for parents.

Caleb’s message… it had seemed so… final. How was I supposed to live my life as normal after all of this? How the hell was I supposed to avoid the Church? It was literally the onething I’d been trying to escape my entire life. I even belonged to it inname.

I’d have to find a new OB somewhere… maybe the women’s health clinic? They’d understood my need for privacy and had assured me that they’d never give out any information without my consent—we’d even created a verbal password to ensure it was me asking. I shook my head. I didn’t even know how long it would take to know if I was pregnant, or when I should test to see if I’d contracted an STD.

Maybe it was unfair to assume that he might have one just because he’d jumped into bed with me so eagerly—especially considering it had beenmethat had initiated everything. Maybe he was out there, worried right now thatI’dgiven him something. I’d have to ask Katie about the sex stuff, and maybe Google it from her computer after mass with my parents?—

I froze. What day was today? I looked up at the clock on the wall. It was just about four in the morning, which meant I was supposed to be at Sunday mass in a little over four hours, and I’d be expected to show up like nothing had happened. I’d have to sing all the hymnals, kneel and pray, recite verses and pretend to be my parents’ perfect daughter—all while hoping that the absolutefloodCaleb left inside of me didn’t leak out and soak my panties and the pew every time I had to stand and sit, stand and sit, for each song or prayer. Not to mention that even now, I could feel some of his semen spilling down my thigh, and instead of being horrified, I found myself growing excited.

“God, I’m an idiot.” I dropped my head into my hands. “I’m such an idiot!”

The warmth of him was still inside of me, and I fanned myself as sweat beaded on my brow. Was there no air conditioner in this room? I felt like I was burning up, and my abdomen clenched and pulsed like a hand was massaging it. Withoutmeaning to, a long, low moan stole out of me as a rapturous throbbing erupted along my entire pelvic region.

“I have to find Dr. Lowe,” I croaked out. I knew Caleb’s note had warned me to keep away from her and anyone asking about her, but… Without him here, how else was I supposed to understand what was happening to me?

You’ve got to go,I urged myself.Find Dr. Lowe—then set up an appointment at that clinic. If you’re lucky, maybe Lowe will be able to tell you what happened—or she’ll be able to test you for things. …Like whether or not you’re going to have a baby.

Another flash of searing heat in my belly, and I spasmed like I’d been shocked. The sheet fell away from me, and I looked down in horror at the faint, purple glow emanating frominsideof me, just below my belly button. I may not have known much about reproductive systems, but I was almost positive that was where my uterus was.

“Ohhhh hell,” I whispered. “Is this normal? Please say that’s normal. None of the girls ever mentioned glowing—” I remembered the hot, sticky sensation of Caleb releasing himself inside of me; my uterus squeezed again, but it wasn’t unpleasant; at first like light period cramps, but then the motion relaxed into long, contracting movements that made my entire body vibrate with pleasure.

My breath came in and out in short little sips of air as I fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. My stomach muscles were so tight, I felt like even breathing too deeply might send me over the edge into another orgasm. Pathetic little mewls escaped from my throat, and I lay there, almost completely paralyzed, as my lower half brimmed with heat; with desire and power. This waspowerinside of me. This was what I needed. I had to have more. More of this feeling.

More of him.

I caught my breath as the warmth faded from my abdomen and looked down. The purple glow was dimming now, but it was still bright enough to see. I laid back down again. Would he be able to explain this? Would the doctor? I’d heard of having an “afterglow” following sex, but I’d seen enough porn to know that even unprotected sex shouldn’t make your uterus temporarilyShe-Hulkout. I needed to talk to Caleb, or Dr. Lowe, or anyone else who might be able to give me some clue of what was going on, and I needed to do it soon. It went without saying that if my uterus started glowing like it was holding an underground rave during morning mass, my parentsmightpay attention.

Plus, if I can’t stop these surprise orgasms, I’m pretty sure the Hallelujah chorus is going to take on an entirely heretical meaning.

I opened my phone and stared at the message again.Succubus.There it was again. What did that even mean? Was it just some kind of new term for “virgin” I hadn’t understood? Until I’d learned about sex from Mrs. O’Leary, I’d thought Mary’s namewas“Virgin” Mary. I had no idea it had been a reference to her sexual—ornonsexual—status. After I’d discovered they just called her that, like some kind of title, the concept disturbed me. Venerating a teenager because she hadn’t slept with anyone was weird—super creepy. Since it was also something I had to deal with alotin my life, I always kind of resented her for setting the example.

I’d once asked my mother why we referred to her the “Holy Virgin,” since she clearly had other kids later by her husband, but I’d gotten slapped around for “questioning the word of God,” and then threatened with being sent off to a nunnery. When I realized there really was one attached to the university she and my father worked at, I’d been much less outwardly curious afterward.

My brain kicked back on like someone had thumped me square in the forehead. The logo on Caleb’s gun holster—I knew I recognized it! It was the university logo for Acolyte Seminary—the place my parents had been working until last year when they’d retired. My mother had been one of the librarians or something; my father a lecturer on the Old Testament. I’d never been allowed anywhere near the school—just to the clinic on the outskirts—but I’d seen the logo on their work badges and uniforms.

Did Caleb work for the school? If that was the case, why did he have agun?

I still had no idea what Caleb’s connection to Dr. Lowe was, but knowing now that he potentially had a connection to my parents was… frightening. Truly, truly frightening. I read his message again, then saved it with a screenshot. He’d warned meawayfrom the Church. He’d warned me not to admit anything that had happened. Did he know, then? Had this really been some kind of elaborate setup? I opened my phone’s browser and put it into private mode, then searched for “succubus.”

Immediately, pictures of naked women sporting wings and biblical references to demons popped up. I goggled at that word demon. My recollection of the word hadn’t been wrong then—that’s what both he and the doctor had suggested I was. There was no way that’s what they were trying to say, was it? That I was just some hellish, evil creature? If Dr. Lowe planned for all of this; had turned me into whatever this… this creature was, it still didn’t explain Caleb’s role in it—or why he’d had a faded logo on his holster for Acolyte Seminary. I bit my lip. What if… what if having sex with a drugged-up virgin was some kind of kink for men like him? Had hepaidfor me?

No.I clamped down on the thought before it could take root. Katie had been the one to insist I go to see Dr. Lowe—and she would never, not in a million years—work with my parents totrick me. She was the only person who hated them as much as I did. As for Caleb…

He’d really seemed worried about me when I’d panicked. He’d given me the chance to leave. He’d offered to let me point that awful weapon at him so I would feel safe, and then said if I’d wanted him to go, he would.I’dbeen the one to tell him to stay.

Nothing made sense. The more I thought about it, the less I understood. I considered texting my parents and telling them that I wasn’t well enough to make morning mass, but they might assume that I’d spent my weekend partying and drinking and show up at my apartment, probably with a deputy to “check” on me, only to discover I wasn’t there.

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