Page 57 of The Wickedness of Man

I got into the shower in a daze. If I didn’t go, they’d come looking for me. But if I did and they saw me like this, they might just make good on their threats.

There was no shampoo or body soap, so I just sat in the shower letting the water roll over my head as I rested it against my knees. When I’d been in long enough that my fingers pruned, I got out and wiped the mirror down with my hands, dripping water everywhere—there were no towels, so I stood there, shivering.

It hardly seemed possible that Dr. Lowe had been telling the truth about me being ademon. If the doctor had done this to me, could she undo it?

…Do I really want her to? Go back to being…

I thought about Danny’s face when he’d finally thought we would “seal the deal” as he’d referred to it. He’d been so excited that day… and then I’d had a panic attack, and he couldn’t look me in the face again.

I had no idea who Caleb really was, but my body called to his; even now, I wanted him to wake up and…

My cheeks flushed as desire pulsed through my abdomen, nearly forcing me to my knees as I thought about how good the second time had felt with him. In the end, when he’d…

Warmth spread through me, and in the bedroom just outside, I heard Caleb mutter something in his sleep—perhaps my name? I forced myself to calm down. I had to be reasonable about this. Rational. Dr. Lowe had done something to me, and I needed to know what. I had just wanted to be able to sleep with someone without having a full-blown panic attack, and now, I was practically a nympho. Even so much as picturing what had occurred with thestrangerin the bed outside would make my knees weak with need.

There was also some kind of… connection with Caleb I didn’t fully understand. He’d known when I was afraid; I’d felt it when he was racing back through the streets to answer me after I’d woken up and discovered the strange new changes to my body. Even now, I had to be careful. Get too excited, and he would respond appropriately. I fought to keep my head level. I had a life I needed to get back to—friends. It might not have seemed like much, but I had to get back to my design job on Monday, and…

“Danny.” I stared into the mirror. What would he think of this new “Mags?” Would he want her because he wantedme?Was there a difference between the me I’d been and the me I was now? I didn’t have answers. I was almost, well, afraid to face anyone in my old life—most of all my parents.

The horrible shame that flooded me every time I thought about them, about the things they’d taught me—the shame I’d internalized… It was all still there, but it was quieter now, despite the bizarre circumstances that led to me being everything they’d ever warned me about before.

A whore. Just like they’d told me my biblical namesake was.

I picked my cell phone up off the counter. There were about two dozen missed calls from Katie, four from my parents, and half a dozen more from Danny. There were also twenty some-odd missed texts from Katie all of them containing some form ofWhere the hell are you? You were supposed to call me last night when you got home!Some texts from Danny—still trying to figure out if I could just talk to him. I ignored his messages. I had no idea what to say to him still. I didn’t feel like trying to make him feel better about dumping me on my birthdayatmy birthday party, which I knew he would be looking for. Maybe he could sweat it out a little longer.

I checked the time. Nearly nine, and I couldn’t bring myself to so much as leave this bathroom. My parents would be anxiously checking their watches, and when I didn’t show… Well, there’d likely be an officer coming to my apartment for a wellness check at eleven when they got done. Katie would already be up, dealing with her café, but instead of calling her first, I tried calling the number for Intimates, Inc. There was only a brief, half-complete ring before the line clicked and went dead. Three calls, the same thing, and on the fourth, I got an error message telling me the number was disconnected. I sighed, frowning down at the phone, and then made a call to Katie.

“You had better have a really, and I meanreallygood explanation for dodging my calls all night,” said Katie, sounding hurt. “I was about to start calling hospitals!”

“I’m so sorry, Kitty Kate,” I whispered, really peppering on theplease don’t kill metone with the use of her childhood nickname. “Things… ah… came up after the meeting.”

Katie, no stranger to my attempts to be vague, sniffed out my bullshit like a bloodhound. “Oh my god. Mags, you’re whispering—are you—did yougo homewith someone last night?!”

The squeal she squealed was so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear and hiss for her to settle down.

“Oh man, tell me everything—no, wait, it wasn’t my brother, was it? If so, tell me nothing.”

I could hear customers talking in the background; the sound of her espresso maker hissing away. I pressed a hand against my forehead. Yes, she really was trying to get the details of my first sexual experience in a crowded café.

“No, Katie, it wasn’t your brother.”

“Oh my god, then back to my first request—tell me everything!”

I made up a lie—I don’t know how I’d come up with one so quickly, but suddenly, there it was. Instead of being some stranger whose bed I’d woken up in and then practically jumped on his dick, Caleb and I had met in a local bar and had a few drinks. We went out to a late movie—hence why I hadn’t answered my phone immediately, and then wound up at his place… twice.

Katie was possibly more excited over me losing my virginity than I was, but I figured that was probably because she hadn’t seen the horns, fangs, glowing eyes, and whatnot. Still wasn’t sure how I was going to explainthatparticular update to her.

“I’m so happy for you, Mags, I mean it,” she said. “See how amazing my plan was? It worked! One session with that doctor and you had your panties around your ankles?—”

“Katie,” I bristled, “could younotsay this in front of the entire café? Anyway, it… it wasn’t like that at all. I actually need to talk to you. There were certain… things that?—”

“Oh right! Yeah, I have to get back to the café now—customers are starting to huff. Come by later and tell me, tell me, tell me! I totally forgive you for not answering me, but if you ever go meet a guy again without at least giving me his name and address and letting me run a full background check on him to make sure he’s not a murderer, I’ll kill you myself.”

I hung up while she was still laughing, and stood shivering on the tile, waiting to drip dry rather than risk waking Caleb up. A soft knock sounded at the door.

“Magda, you okay?”

“Don’t come in!” I said, covering my body out of panicky instinct. “There are no towels!”

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