“Then I’ll take one of you tonight, and the other in the morning after I’ve rested,” Carmilla said.
I looked down at Caleb, watching the rise and fall of his chest, angry at myself for still wanting to selfishly keep him—for having thought, for even a second, that someone so incredible could have just beenmine. I refused to continue letting other people control my life and make choices for me.
Even if it meant never seeing him again.
“I should probably take him first—he’s a bit volatile at the moment, and it will give you some time to say your farewells to your friend, yes? You’ll probably want to tell her a lie about why you’re leaving—but make it vague. Something she won’t find unbelievable.”
The thought stopped me cold.
The world seemed so normal; just spending time at Katie’s as I always did… but my life as I’d known it was over. I had no idea who I was if I wasn’t all the things other people always told me I’d have to be, and as exhilarating as I thought escape might havefelt, now that I was presented with the possibility of life on lam, the idea filled me with more dread than I’d anticipated.
“I can’t ever come back after this, can I?” I whispered. “This is… this is it. My last goodbye… to everyone.”
Carmilla nodded. “Trust me when I say this is more than many of us get—but you really must go. Your parents… the organization… anyone of them could be hunting you. This place is unlisted, but your parents know about it, so it’s only a matter of time before they come looking here, and they’ll find not one butthreedemons.”
“I know,” I said, without meeting her gaze, “you’re right. I just… it just sucks.”
I was glad to have the time to say goodbye to Katie, but even if I knew I didn’t have the right to feel like I did, the thought of Caleb being taken from me was enough to make me want to rip something apart with my teeth. The thought of never seeing himorKatie again suddenly seemed like an abyss I couldn’t stop staring into.
“What about my parents?” I muttered. “Should I write a letter to them, or just… disappear like I never existed?”
“I’d recommend against contacting them.”
“I suppose that’s for the best. Even though they were horrible to me, I mean they’re still my parents?—”
“Magda, dear,” Carmilla cut in, “the university they worked for is the headquarters for a demon-hunting organization, and the church that runs it is a sub-sect of Catholicism created in the mid-fourteenth century. It’s been disavowed by theofficialChurch for ages, but trust me when I say they’ve been experimenting with our kind for centuries. Is it possible, that perhaps… your parents aren’t actually… your parents, and that they were instead… your keepers?”
I tried to answer, but my mouth was dry. Not because of fear, but the opposite. Because the thought of themnotbeing my realparents was something I’d dreamed of my whole life. When I failed to answer, she continued.
“It’s just that… Clearly,someonehad to know what you were to arrange all of this.”
“I used to pray,” I said, “every night… They made me get on a kneeling bench and pray for an hour before bed, and I used to ask God to save me. I used to ask if…” I paused here, my throat catching. I forced the emotions down, aware of my influence over Caleb now, and feeling guilty as hell for it. “If my ‘real’ parents would come and save me.”
Carmilla sat on the other side of the couch, her shoulders sagging.
“You’ve had such a hard life,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry they did this to you. But remember: You never have to deal with them again. In fact, I recommend you get as far away from them—this place, this town—as quickly as possible. If you want to come with me, we can all go now. I’ll drop Caleb off before I take you to another safe house?—”
“No,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to be alone for a bit if you don’t mind. I’m… I’m going to take anactualshower, and then I’m coming for the plate of bear claws in the kitchen”—I froze and sent a panic-stricken look over at Carmilla—“I can still eat food, right? I mean, even though I need… sex… for energy?”
Carmilla smiled. “Yes. We don’tneedactual food, but succubi are nothing if not pleasure seekers ofeverysense. I’ll have them warmed up for after you get out.”
I sighed, feeling a true sense of relief flooding me. I’d have been angrier to find out I wouldn’t ever eat baked goods again than to discover I was a demon. You can’t have a best friend who’s a baker without being able to eat some pastries once in a while.
“You’re an angel,” I said.
Carmilla sent a wink a devious smile in my direction. “Not even close, baby girl.”
Harry
Iwalked down the corridor with a pep in my step I hadn’t felt in ages.
Got ’em!I kept repeating in my head, like a message on repeat.Got ’em, got ’em, got ’em!
The only thing that could possibly keep me from almost levitating off of the floor with delight were the two assholes coming with me: the bishop and Mercy.
Jax, with his useless leg, couldn’t keep up my stride, and Mercy, the dumb bitch, was dragging her feet—most likely in a pout, I was certain. I’d refused to feed her again after the meeting with Caleb. Having caught the scent of that asshole—truly the one person I could have sworn in that moment was dumber than Mercy—she’d become insatiable. I refused, and she’d decided to try and steal it from me in the night like a whore. She’d pretended to behave herself all day, and when I let her lay in the bed next to me earlier today, I woke up to find her sneaky little hands on my body—as if an incubus wouldn’t know! She received a proper beating and restrictions to feeding until further notice.
We both knew a few days was the max I could go without needing to use her again, since my hunger needs grew as I gotolder. However, in recent months, Mercy had taken to throwing a quiet tantrum during these periods of what should have been penitent fasting. As of right now, she was making sure to match Jax’s pace and stay by his side as much as possible so thatIwouldn’t be able to feed offherby touch. I could order her to return to me, but it would make me look weak, and she knew it.