Page 77 of The Wickedness of Man

The reminder brought a deep pang of agony with it. Even though we were practically strangers, there was something… there. I’d felt things—desire, wanting—for people before. I even longed for it sometimes, but with every punishing, terrible fear my parents had put into my head, I’d never once considered it was something meant for me. I’d only started dating, really dating, in secret when I’d gone to college.

I’d gone on a lot of first dates—a couple seconds, and even managed to date some guys for a couple weeks or months, but it always ended the same way. The moment a man tried to showany physical interest in me, I’d panicked and run. In a couple of cases, quite literally. Even when I’d enjoyed making out and touching just fine. Even whenI’dbeen the one to initiate the physicality. The moment penetrative sex was involved, I was overcome with terror.

Danny was the longest relationship I’d ever managed, and the only reason I was even able to managethatlong was because he knew about my issues with sex knew beforehand. He’d even been a shoulder to cry on about it in the past. I hadn’t meant to torment him by not answering this weekend, but I realized—or at least, some deep, dark part of me was willing to admit—that I wasn’t entirely sad that he’d been sweating the fact I hadn’t answered him. A tiny thrill raced through me at the thought of him wanting me badly enough that the thought of losing me permanently had made him a total wreck.

Did I feel that way because I was a demon… or was that really just who I was? I wasn’t sure Iwantedto know the answer to why the thought of his desperation to fix things with me had suddenly become such a turn on. I was getting a bittooexcited thinking about it. Maybethatpart was due to my current state of being a bit more excitable than usual as my body adjusted to its own succubus nature? Either way, I found myself suddenly looking forward to going downstairs to see Danny, the wreck, who had come to beg my forgiveness.

I slipped into a pair of Katie’s house shoes and went back into the living room, hoping that I wasn’t giving off too much of my emotional state. By the look in Caleb’s eye, though, I knew I was likely failing.

“Listen, I need to run downstairs to the café, but I’m not going anywhere—” I supplied before Caleb could interrupt. “Katie’s brother… my ex… is here, and he wants to talk.”

Carmilla looked over at Caleb, who was just watching me, his face inscrutable.

“Do you need us to come with you?” he asked.

“No,” I answered. “It’ll be fine. Besides, I think there were… a couple things Carmilla needs to explain to you.”

Caleb looked up at her, a wary look in his eye. “About our situation?”

“Something like that,” she interrupted, taking the heat off of me a bit. She turned to me with a small smile, then forced a fiendish glint into her grin as she winked. “Good luck. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

I was already halfway out the door before I muttered, “That doesn’t exactly narrow the playing field any, does it?”

I could have sworn I heard Carmilla laugh as I hurried down the stairs, but I wasn’t in the mood for joviality. If all went according to plan, she’d be explaining the circumstances of our pairing to Caleb; about the fact that we couldn’t risk sleeping together anymore; and then she would be flying him off to one of her safe houses to leave him in the care of another incubus cambion. Hopefully, they would help him gain some control over his transformation.

The thought of him leaving was enough to crush me, even though I knew it was for the best. Carmilla had suggested that I find a distraction to slip downstairs, so she probably thought that was exactly what I was doing, but the truth was that Danny had supplied the distraction on his own. For once, being useful for somethingotherthan being an ass.

Harsh, but… not entirely undeserved, I chided myself. I might still have been ateensybit mad at him, and it wasn’t a good realization to have right before I went to confront him about his behavior… and the pain it caused me.

I stopped at the bottom stairs, trying to regain my composure. Sure, he was an ass… but maybe I was being abitunfair. The breakup wouldn’t have hurt so much if he hadn’t liedto me, though, and told me he could handle waiting for me to be ready.

Hell, if he’d waited literallyonemore day to breakup with me, I’d probably have gone to his apartment begging for him to have sex with me after meeting Carmilla. Then again…

If someone really had orchestrated mine and Caleb’s bodies being on a collision course, maybe I never would have had the chance to at all.

I slipped into the customers’ bathroom and checked my reflection in the mirror. I looked… I was shocked. No makeup, no nothing… I looked so… healthy… so… hot?

I still don’t know how I’ll get used to havingthishappen… from sex.

I approached the swinging doors that led into the dining room and heard raised voices. I slowed my pace. I didn’t intend to eavesdrop, but I heard the annoyance in Katie’s voice and hesitated before entering.

“Dude, she isfine, okay? More than fine—trust me. I told her you’re here, and she’ll be down any second. We’re kind of having a… girls’ night anyway, so youcouldjust talk to her tomorrow. She practically lives here anyway—I mean, it’s not like you couldn’t see her whenever you want to. You’re the one who fucked things up, Dan. She was a mess on Friday.”

“I know! I wasn’ttryingto be an asshole, I just wasn’t thinking! You and Mom made me feel so bad—thanks for telling her, by the way. I always look forward to my mother calling and bemoaning where she’d messed up to have raised a son who would treat a woman like that. Super fun time there, sothanks.”

I covered my mouth to keep the giggle from slipping out. Mrs. O’Leary had always been protective of me, so I was sure she chewed Danny out. Okay. Maybe he’d suffered enough if Katie tattled on Danny to their momafterConcepción had also cursed him out in three different languages at the bar.

“You’re an idiot,” Katie countered. “If you can’t handle the time, don’t commit the crime. Mom would have found out anyway. You know she loves Magda like another daughter.”

“Dude, you all know I’m an idiot,” Danny said. “I mess up constantly.”

“Yes, but you’re usually not malicious when you fuck things up,” Katie retorted. “This one was bad, Danny. Mags didn’t deserve that.”

“I…” He paused. “I know.”

I pushed open the swinging door. Katie was facing me, but Danny was facing the front door and window, his back to me, unaware that I was in the room.

“At any rate.” Katie stood from the table she’d been cleaning, then grabbed her brother’s arm and shoved the rag into his hand. “You can explain that yourself”—she turned him around to face me—“as you finish wiping down these tables as an apology for putting your sister and her best friend through hell.”

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