Page 15 of Waiting for Gilbert

“Did you forget I was still here?” Mark’s deadpan voice washes over me.

“Uhhh, yep. You can join me. I’m a free jukebox. What’s your pick?”

He groans. “You were quiet for literally five seconds, sneezed, and then started singing. How did you forget I was here?”

“Marky Marky Mark. You’re like my little Jiminy Cricket. How’m I supposed to remember every tiny detail of when you’re truly there or just skipping through my head in our complex and beautiful relationship?”

He hums “Think of Me” fromThePhantom of the Opera.

I hold my breath to avoid gagging on droplets of soapy water and vinegar from my spray bottle. I want to tell him about Gilbert Conner. Would it jinx everything if I said it out loud? He might make fun of me. No doubt, Mark would find terrible ways to torture me. In this, I’d like to keep my dreams to myself. He’s still humming when I interrupt. “You should relocate to Nebraska. We would be the best roomies.”

“I’ll see you in two weeks for Christmas.”

“Yeah, but after that it’s just me andthe beastfor a year. I’m trembling just thinking of it.” The lights pulse when the space heater kicks on.

“Are you climbing the counters to reach the top shelf?”

“Need you ask?”

“That’s why you’re trembling.”

“I don’t even know what I’m going to eat for breakfast, and I sign atwelve month lease with a beast.”

“As your cousin and friend, I demand that you take precautions. Buy yourself a step-stool for Pete’s sake.”

I have one in the backseat of my car, but this information is none of his business. “You should use that in one of your books. ‘A lease with a beast.’ It’s catchy.”

He seems distracted tonight. Normally he’d be halfway into the lecture about how he doesn’t write the books but “shreds them to pieces” and doesn’t care how authors cry because it’s “not my job to hand out cookies.”

I love Mark. Even when he’s an unyielding boulder, he’s my actual favorite. I should set him up with someone. Hmm, who would be perfect for Mark? Someone tough. Not anyone fun and cute like me. He needs an accountant. A lawyer. Or a doctor. What would Mark even do if he had the chance to kiss someone smarter than him?

Heyo! If I were a cartoon, a lightbulb has just materialized over my head. Dr. Nicole Brader! They already have the same last name which, granted, might be a little weird. And their kids would be out of this world intelligent and probably never make friends. Aunt Cordy will have to take them under her wing and teach them how to be cool.“Follow my lead, young padawans.”

I squat with a foot on either side of the sink to scrub the window and take a moment to sigh over the sprawling Victorian house where my landlord lives across the massive snow covered yard. The whole place glows from the moonlight reflected in magical sparkles off the frozen landscape. I love how the snow enhances everything in the country. It’s not food, but I must get pictures of it. I bet I could frame one looking through this window. Add a lamp post just there.

Add that on the list for tomorrow.

“Hey Marky, did you go back to sleep? Are you frantically searching to see if ‘beast lease’ has already been done?”

Gilbert left a light on upstairs. Is it possible he’s still awake at this hour? He probably forgot to switch it off before he went to bed. After all, he left the party early—something a responsible working adult would do. A trail of footsteps through the new snow from his mansion to the side of my hovel catches my attention. Mr. Landlord must have been here recently. Maybe he felt the need to oil the butcher block counters and turn on the space heater. Good for him, but he forgot literally everything else that might need attention.

“Cordy, what d’you need?” Mark leaks his first honest sign of impatience with a sigh. “You do realize I’m in bed. Some of us are required to go into an office for work.”

I shove a lock of my wayward hair into the scrunchie that restrains the mess. “Next time don’t answer the phone if you don’t want to talk.”

“So talk. Tell me about your cottage. It’s a little dirty? What’s really going on? You don’t need to call me about a cleaning sesh.”

“Well, it’s cute at first until you open the cupboards and they stick, and the only heat comes from a box in the corner, and the only excuse for a shower is a copper pipe sticking out of the wall above a corner drain in the bathroom floor. Why wasn’t that mentioned?Hmmm?I want to like this place, but I feel tricked.” I think my feet have gone numb from how long I’ve been squatting to stare out the window. “Like I’ve made a huge mistake.”

“I’ll find him and let him know. File a complaint. Contact the authorities. What’s your landlord’s name? ”

“Miiister Conner.” Activate evasive maneuvers! I frantically scrub random things. “He has some explaining to do.”

And Aunt Jewels for recommending this place. And Dr. Brader for dangling the papers in front of my nose. I grimace, knowing the fault is my own for snatching it like this was the only chance I’d ever have to affordably live on my own. I’m telling you, the price wasfiiine. Was I really that desperate to avoid the stomach bug?

“You didn’t do any background checks?”

“Puh-lease, Mark. I’m in Hadley Springs, not Omaha or Phoenix. How rude can you be? Background checking a landlord. Psh.” I grab my dry rag and polish the window. An unbidden smile lights my face at the way it gleams. Pictures through this window tomorrow will be divine.

---