Page 18 of Waiting for Gilbert

Can I be the Anne to your Gilbert?Run screaming for the hills.

Cool boots!Lame.

This cottage isn’t what I’d hoped. Whiny.

How long have you lived here?Intrusive and somewhat boring.

What’s your favorite color?How old are we? Five?

Hungry?Yes, but I don’t have anything to offer. Unless I do. Hmm, what else was in the bag from Aunt Jewels? Oh, but I left it in the car.

Gross, the floor is sticky under here and from this angle I see dried food stains on the table legs.

Gilbert leans to the side and catches my gaze. “Are you… good under there?”

Ah! My fantasy husband materialized in my kitchen in the middle of the night. I was not prepared for this.Be cool, CJ!Be cool.

8

CORDELIA

PENTATONIX—GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN

“Found it!” I raise my fist with the escaped earbud before exiting my cave-haven. “Haha, good thing you stopped by. I have questions about the bathroom situation.” That’s right! Real questions.

He follows me the three steps across the kitchen to the bathroom. There’s a stacked washer and dryer combination, toilet, small pedestal sink, and the aforementioned pipe in the wall over a drain in the concrete floor.

I step to the side and make room for him to join me in the cramped space.

He still has his arms strangely crossed with one hand gripping his forearm tightly against his chest. It’s an odd posture.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” I wave my hand toward the not-a-shower. “There’s no curtain or spigot thingy.”

“Sorry, I was going to fix that. I got used to it this way and moved on to the kitchen. Go ahead and pick out whatever showerhead you want, and I’ll install it. You’ll need to order something online and have it shipped here. The hardware store in town won’t carry anything for this. Unless you want to drive to the city.”

“And you’ll take it off my rent?”

He nods.

“And until then?”

He tips his head to the side like an intrigued dog.

“Until then.” I speak slowly. “How’m I going to shower?”

“Oh, it works well enough like this.” He nods to the valve with a red handle in the tiled wall. “Turn it all the way on for hot water and a bit back. Just over half-way was perfect for me. The water comes out quick, like a hose—so I do a speed wash, rinse, and get out.”

“Or what?”

“Or you’ll use up all your hot water in two minutes.”

“Two!”

He shrugs. “Maybe five? I don’t time it. I just know when I’m slow it’s unpleasant. Soap on, soap off, or you’ll be cold.”

Heat slips into my face as I accidentally picture Gilbert in the shower. He might be having the same thoughts I am because he clears his throat and taps his toe against the wall without looking at me.

“And the water splashes all over the place?”

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