Page 34 of Waiting for Gilbert

Cordelia: I’ve been in a pie factory all afternoon and I haven’t crawled to the surface. I’m looking it up now.

Cordelia: Yea, it doesn’t look good, mate. Guess I’ll stay in Australia.

John: ?

Cordelia: Nevermind. Take a snow check?

John: Haha. Yea.

Cordelia: Eggnog cream pie, though. New favorite.

John: Save me a piece! You’ll be okay? They might not get the roads cleared right away.

Cordelia: I stocked the bunker. No worries. Thanks.

John: Gotta finish closing. Talk later?

I spend the next five minutes searching for the perfect GIF of a girl secretly eating all the pie, but I never find it. Ah, well.

I do a quick YouTube search for “Australian dancing music.” Aboriginal tribal videos with chanting, didgeridoos, and clapping spears are a sure mood enhancer.

My back pops when I curl my shoulders around. I slide from my chair and mimic the motions of those on the screen.Stomp. Clap-clap. Stomp. Stomp. Clap-clap. Clap-clap. I squat and shake my invisible spear in celebration. Would it have been fun to hang out with a new friend? Perhaps. But sleep is a delightful alternative after the adventures of last night.

I raise my spear and mentally chant.

What do we want?Sleep!

When do we want it?Now!

A slow grin spreads across my face as I boogie around my kitchen in wool socks. All flights to Svalbard have been rerouted.

Hold it. Wait right there.

Australia has never looked so good.

New plan.

The Aboriginal music grows obnoxious and I shut it off. I plant my feet with hands on hips while I stare through the window to think.

Gilbert doesn’t want to date.That’s fine.But I’m here and he’s here and there is no reason that two people can’t hang out and be friends. I like people. I like food.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a phone, asking her landlord to come to dinner.

Cordelia: I have a plethora of fresh baked desserts. Hungry? You should eat something.

Gilbert: Who is this? I don’t have this number saved.

Cordelia: Oh, it’s me.

Gilbert: Grandma? When did you get a cell phone?

Cordelia: Yep, I’m finally up with the times.

Cordelia: *GIF of a cliche grandma looking through a magnifying glass*

Gilbert: Cordelia Thompson, it’s not nice to make fun of the elderly.

Cordelia: Ha! You DID know it was me.

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