Page 74 of Waiting for Gilbert

“Oooh. This is fun. I love this job! This is a great Christmas present. Snooping into your friend’s love life.” I rub my hands together. “Hit me. Wha’d’we got?”

His right cheek dimples in a half-grin. “Merry Christmas. I guess I’ll take back the shoes. That’ll save me a boatload.” He grunts when I kick his shin with my new fancy shoes under the table. “So, I’m just going to read these first because I don’t want you to judge the person by any obvious stereotypes or racial prejudices.”

“I’m mildly offended.” I give him the side-eye. “Are you implying my judgment is biased?”

He clears his throat. “Girl Number One. Quirky, fun, extremely sassy. I love parties and dancing. If there’s music, I’m moving. I’m always up for a good time. The friend you call when you want to laugh and be cheered up.”

I tap my lips in thought. “I don’t hate her, but she could be a bit much. Next.”

Gilbert orients the folder in such a way to hide the pages from me. “Girl Number Two. I’m a woman of my word and careful to follow through and meet deadlines. My friends are always asking me for favors because it’s no trouble for me to stop and help someone else. I enjoy spending a quiet evening listening to music, cooking, and chatting with my best friends. I’m career driven—I want to offer my best work, but I’m careful not to let it overtake the rest of my life. Work supports life, not the other way around.” He slaps the folder shut. “Thoughts?”

“Huh. Okay, okay. She’s the exact opposite of the first girl. I like them both. She could be lame. For a first date, maybe Girl Number One? Who’s your friend, though? Is it anyone I know? It’s not John, is it?” I form my lips into a perfect O of surprise.

“There’s more. Hang on.”

“Right, but if I don’t know who we’re pairing these women with, it won’t matter?—”

“Give me your knee-jerk impressions first.”

I wiggle in my seat and he flips to the next page. “How can I pick if?—”

“Girl Number Three?—”

“Can I take notes?”

“No.”

“Can I see the pictures?” I inch my hand toward his papers. “I can’t remember—” My hand suffers a swat. “Ow!”

“Not yet.” His eyes snap and he gives me a reproving look, so I shut up. He is not going to budge on this.

“Geez. Fine. Do it your way.”

“Girl Number Three–”

“But I think it’s stupid.”

He smushes his finger against my lips, and I blow a raspberry.

“Quiet. Girl Number Three. I’m a people person. I love to spend time with my besties, but I’m open to bringing new friends into my circle. When I walk into a room, I light up the whole place. People are drawn to me without knowing why. I wear my emotions like a graphic T-shirt so everyone knows that I’m genuine.”

I shake my head in disgust. “This one is a hard no. Who sets up a dating profile like that? She really said besties? Gross.” I straighten a pretend halo. “‘I light up the room when I walk in.’ Come on. You’ve got to show me this girl’s picture. No way she’s getting a date unless she’s hot.”

Gilbert sighs like he knew this was coming. He opens the cream-colored folder and lays out six pages before me. They immediately remind me of a one-page sales flier. They’re as unique as six different book genres. And yet…

They’re all me.

All six of them. Six different pictures of me artistically themed with six different descriptions. “How did—” I blink, shocked. “Did you design these? These are amazing.”

“Cameron helped. He’s really good with computers. My idea was to stick your pictures in a row and write out the different bios.”

“Cameron.” Doesn’t that beat all. “Cameron has skills. Gilbert, these are insanely good. Look at the coordinating font choices. The bold highlights along the side. The way he fits the picture into each page is unique and matches each theme. Holy moly.” I gasp when I’m hit with an amazing idea. “Do you think he could help me design some of my own products? I have these really great recipes for cookbook pamphlets. I’ve never seen it done before. But imagine a week’s worth of easy recipes that includes a grocery list. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. All in one small book. No fluff. But he could help put it all together and make it beautiful. They’d be outstanding. You know how many women want done-for-them meal plans? Diana and her friends would drool over something like this.”

Gilbert’s large hands cover the pages and block my view of the art. When I look at him his shoulders are shaking in silent laughter. He points to the bio of Girl Number Five. “Read this one.”

I hold the paper up and read the words quietly. “I have amazing ideas. My secret power is thinking of ways to solve problems that nobody else has noticed. With the right team behind me, I’m unstoppable.” My lips press together, and I take a jerky breath through my nose. It finally hits me what’s going on here. Gilbert’s saying really really nice things about me. “You really think so?”

Instead of answering he hands me another page. “Read this one.”

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