Page 75 of Waiting for Gilbert

“You read it.” I whisper, afraid I’m going to embarrass myself with tears.

“Girl Number Six. I feel everything.” Gilbert wraps my hand in his and keeps reading. “I love deeply. I’m passionate and excited to be alive. When I’m sad it consumes me, but when I’m joyful it fills the whole house. I smile and it feeds those around me.”

“Oh, stop it.” I try to take the paper from him, but he drops it and captures both of my hands.

“Cordelia, I lied. I don’t have a friend looking for a girlfriend. It’s me.”

I grip his calloused fingers tightly, afraid this isn’t real. “But these descriptions aren’t me, they aren’t?—”

“They’re all you. They’re what I see when I look at you. I’m not choosing just one part. I want all sides of you.”

I stare back in disbelief. Gilbert’s delusional. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

“Even now, you’re shaking your head like you don’t believe me. Cordelia, you’re not just this or just that. You’re all of this and so much more.” He pushes the pages closer to me. “And so am I. I’m not a musician or a handy-man. I’m not a nephew or a son or a brother. I’m all of it.”

“But you—what happened to you not dating?”

The smile that he shoots toward me is my kryptonite. “Someone told me I was being an idiot.” He disengages one of his hands and gently cups the side of my face. “My idea of dating didn’t match our friendship. When we’re together I’m not worried about the money or the time, I just like being with you. I don’t have much, and I’m really busy, but if we keep going the way we’ve started, I can’t stay just your friend. I want more.”

An anxious laugh spills from me. I’m nervous and excited. Gilbert is saying the sweetest things, and I don’t want to mess it up. I’ve never seen him so serious. Even when he sliced his arm and I had to drive him to the clinic, he laced everything with humor.

He pushes the pages away from us. “I was afraid to show you these because I don’t want to put you in a few boxes. You’re so much more than these six pages, and I want to learn everything about you.” He stands from his chair and tugs me up in front of him. “Will you choose me?”

“Yes,” I breathe out the word and then find my voice. “Oh my goodness, yes.”

He smiles while swinging our hands between us. The moment stretches into silence.

“So…” No worries, you can always count on me to fill it. “What happens now?”

A faint flush creeps along his neck. “Can I kiss you?”

I laugh because I’m so happy, but my laugh turns into a giggle and I cover my mouth because I’m so embarrassed.

Gilbert slides his hands to my shoulders and pulls me against him while I recover from this overflow of happiness. His embrace is everything, and I could live here. He kisses the top of my head and it lights me on fire. “I love your zest for life. Don’t dim that down, ever.”

As long as he sticks around, I have the feeling I won’t need to. I’m just about to work up the courage to kiss him, when my kitchen door flies open. I swallow a scream and pull away from Gilbert on instinct.

He holds me tight instead and turns us both to face the door.

Cameron stands there triumphantly. “Ah-ha! I knew it would work. I’m a marketing genius.”

Gilbert grumbles, and I feel it deep in his chest against my ear. “Not now, Cameron. I’m a little busy.”

“I see that. Dad’s on the computer back at the house. He’s only got a minute. Come say hi right quick and you can get back to your canoodling.”

Cameron slams the door and Gilbert softens against me. “I should probably mention I invited Cam to live with me until he finds another job. Or forever. I don’t know.”

“Merry Christmas, Gilbert.” My eyes fill up with happy tears and I don’t even try to wipe them away.

“Merry—”

Cam returns with a rush of winter air. “No more of this. Come on.”

“I’m coming!” Gilbert takes my hand and drags me along. I guess we’re both going.

Squinting at the blowing snow across my yard while warm and joy-filled tears freeze on my snotty face isn’t how I pictured Christmas Day going.

Let it be known that strong women cry. Sometimes a lot. But only because we’re not afraid to be ourselves with the people who love us.

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