Page 33 of My Silver Fox Savior

“You can be with himandbe a social worker, right?”

“Stop being so reasonable,” I say, laughing ruefully.

“Hey, don’t get me wrong,” Maddie replies. “I think you should be careful. Guys will do anything to get laid. I’m not blowing any secrets there. You know the douches I’ve had to deal with. If you think there’s a chance he’s using you, then yeah, take it slow. If he’s not okay with you taking it slow, you know he’s not right for you.”

“I’m not sure abouttaking it slow,” I mutter. “It might just be better to back off.”

That same fight-or-flight feeling bounces through me.

“Yeah, maybe, but,” Maddie sighs, “not everybody is your dad.”

“I know,” I tell her, but all those lessons from Mom and the memories of what Dad was like are difficult to shake.

“How wonderful is this, Lily?” Mom says when I walk into the living room the following morning. She gestures to the table. The bed has been folded away, and presumably, Landon has bought us a breakfast feast. “No visitors last night … and a breakfast to boot. I might have to ask you to stay, Landon.”

Landon smirks, but his eyes change quality when he glances at me. I pretend last night never happened. Maddie would probably disagree, but it’s the only way I can handle this. I don’t know how to do relationships.

“It’s nothing,” he says.

“Thanks, Landon.” I sit beside Mom on the couch, relieved Landon is in the armchair. What would Mom say if she knew what we’d done on this couch last night? At least it was on the bed, not the cushions we’re sitting on.

“What do we do now?” Mom asks as the three of us load up plates.

“If that idiot comes back, we call the cops,” I say quickly. “We can’t expect Landon to stay here forever.”

Mom rubs her arm in that gesture that I recognize. I’ve often wondered if it’s one that all addicts use at one point or another. It brings back an army of memories. Mom knows what I’m thinking because she lets her hand drop. “You’re right,” she says, trying to sound sure and tough.

“I want you to be safe, too,” he says. “Lily’s got my cell number. I’ll keep it on day and night. If you call, I’ll be here, and yeah, call the cops too. They might take longer than me, though.”

“He won’t come back,” I say. “I’m not working on that case anymore.”

I stare down at my bagel, but I can feel Landon looking at me. I’m pretty sure he’s glaring, but it’s tricky to be sure when he only exists at the periphery of my vision. He doesn’t want to say it in front of Mom, but he’s trying to remind me of what he said last night.

Damon thinks Landon wants me.

“If he had any reason to think about returning,” I say, “because he had any ideas or anything about me, or maybe our connectionto Landon about that stuff when I was a kid, Mom, hopefully he’ll realize he’s wrong.”

I finally look at Landon. My heart drops in my chest. I actually feel it, a judder moving through me. I assumed he was scowling, but I was wrong. He has an almost hurt expression on his face. I nearly tell him I’m sorry, but I make myself tough.

Okay, it hurts, but I have to do this for my career and to avoid the mistake Mom made. Deep down, I wonder if that’s an excuse.

Landon picks up a bagel. “Maybe when I’m down there working the case, I’ll run into him,” he says. “I’ll set the record straight and tell him you were just another case.”

“That would be good,” I say, then take a big bite to stop myself from saying anything else, something like,Tell me about that romantic scene you were imagining. After devouring the bagel, I stand. “I need to get ready for work.”

“Do you want a ride?” Landon says.

“No,” I reply.

Mom frowns at me. I hurry down the hallway, not wanting to get into any mess about this. I don’t know how to process it, end of story. I don’t want to find out. I can’t even imagine being with a man,reallybeing with him.

Yet, haven’t I been dreaming of my knight in shining armor ever since he left us? Haven’t I wanted him to find me, to save me again?

I turn the shower up hot, scalding away any feeling from last night. Or that’s what I tell myself, but I can’t shake the sensation that the hot water is trying to simulate his touch. I force myself to wash quickly. The urge to touch myself is way too real.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

LANDON

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