She flinched. “I’m not jealous,” she countered. “Just concerned about your behavior towards Felicity.” Even as the words left her mouth, she felt like an idiot. Concerned about his behavior towards Felicity. Really?
He brought his lips together and held up a finger, his voice holding a hint of mockery. “It’s nice of you to be so concerned about a woman you’ve never met.”
“Yeah, I’m altruistic that way. Just call me Mother Teresa,” she quipped.
He gave her a boyish grin that turned her insides to warm caramel. She couldn’t help but smile back. She straightened her shoulders, pulling in a breath. “Okay, are you going to tell me about your thing with Felicity? When you started dating her? How serious it is?” Her heart tightened a little at that. She couldn’t stand the thought of Maddox being with another woman.
“All right. I’ll tell you what you want to know. But first, you’ve gotta tell me why you feel sorry for Felicity.”
There was no way around it. The elephant in the room was always there. She might as well get it in the open. “Fine, but you go first.” She eyed him, daring him to disagree.
He rubbed his neck. “I started dating Felicity as sort of a rebound thing.” He gave her a sharp look. “I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for you. Some curly haired vixen broke my heart.”
She shifted, giving him a nervous laugh. “Hah! With hair like yours I don’t think I’d be talking about mine.”
He pumped his eyebrows. “Think of the kids we’d have together—all that hair. Maybe I’d better call my broker and order stock in a gel company.”
Heat crept up her neck as she giggled. “Stop with the side notes and get on with the story already.”
“Hold your horses, woman,” he drawled. “I’m working my way into it.”
She chuckled, tucking her leg underneath her. “What does that expression even mean? What type of horses do you have?”
He flexed his bicep. “Clydesdales, of course.”
Yeah, his muscles were impressive. Too impressive. She forced her eyes to his face, grunting. “More like Shetland ponies.”
He burst out laughing. “That was good,” he said admiringly, sending a warm glow over her.
She made a circular motion with her hand. “Back to the story.”
He sighed. “Oh, yeah. Let’s see … I was talking about my broken heart.” His face pulled down in mock sadness. “It was terrible. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. I wandered the streets, barefoot in ragged clothes, searching for my purpose. Trying to figure out how I could possibly forget about the green-eyed, curly haired vixen who’d bewitched me.”
She rolled her eyes. “All right. I get the point.” Secretly, however, she enjoyed the thought of him pining away for her. She’d certainly done her share of pining away for him.
“Anyway, I met this girl who lives in my condo complex. She seemed nice enough, so we started going out.”
He said it casually like he was discussing the weather. She leaned forward, her heart picking up its beat. “How serious is it?”
Time seemed to stop as his eyes held hers. “Do you really have to ask after our kisses?”
An inexplicable feeling of joy rose in her chest, a stupid grin spilling over her lips. “So, you’re not serious,” she said, stating the obvious.
“There’s only one woman who has claim to my heart.” His expression grew serious. “The question is—what will she do with it?”
She saw the cautious hope in his eyes and wanted more than anything to tell him that she could be the woman he needed her to be. She wanted to be brave, to love him fiercely in the moment. She wanted to come to terms with the high risk of losing him to the constant danger of his job.
How? How could she do it? Thinking he was dead nearly did her in, and that wasafterthey’d broken up. Didn’t she tell herself then that not having him in her life was worse than living with the constant fear of losing him? Now that the moment was upon her, however, she was torn and confused. She clasped her hands tightly in her lap, trying to make herself small.
“Addie?” He caressed her hair, a sad smile touching his lips. “You wouldn’t make a good poker player. Why do you feel sorry for Felicity?” he asked quietly, even though she could tell he already knew the answer.
“Do you want me to say it out loud?” Her heart ached. “I love you,” she admitted. A tear rolled down her cheek. “I never stopped loving you.”
Lightly, he brushed the tear away, his thumb lingering on her cheek.
“I wish I could tell you that I could be that woman, the one who will stand by your side—” her voice choked “—the woman who will give her whole heart, not knowing if you’ll come back when you walk out the door in the morning.” She gave him a pleading look. “The truth is, I’m not sure that I can.” Panic fluttered in her stomach when she saw his anguished expression.
“We’re back to square one, huh?”