Page 47 of Dopplebanger

Out of habit, I braced for the hurt I often experienced whenever I thought of them together, but it didn’t come.

“She misses you so much. And now that Madison’s married, I’m afraid that Paige will retreat into herself that much more.”

The vindictive part of me wanted to say she deserved it. She’d made her bed by sleeping with my boyfriend in mine. But empathy rose on its heels. I couldn’t help remembering how she hadn’t had the same loving family dynamic I did. Thanks to her daddy issues, she’d always craved attention from guys. She’d practically throw herself at dudes who’d ignore her after they slept together, and while she tried to hide how much it hurt her, Iknew her too well for the act to work. I also sensed some jealousy on her end over my family and my relationship with Kyle, but had tried to combat that with love, and so her betrayal cut extra deep. It’d made me hold back—pretty much the only reason I had Tori was because she charged right on through anyway.

At least this guy cared about Paige and stuck by her side. She needed that.

Honestly, as I looked at Kyle, I also thought that if she hadn’t done what she’d done, I would’ve probably kept on living my life for him. Let him determine my course. I would’ve settled, not realizing there was a guy out there who was so much better for me. Who actually understood me and encouraged me to be strong—and more, had faith that I could be.

I blew out a breath, pushing out all the negative vibes I could. “I’m not sure I’m ready to have a big heart-to-heart with her tonight. It’s already been a bit emotionally draining just being around you guys and remembering the past. But I’ll give her a call when I get home and we’ll start slow.”

He nodded, lips clamped like he was afraid if he said anything he’d ruin it, which was totally accurate.

“I appreciate your attempt to make peace and get us talking again. And one nice thing Icansay is that while I moved states for you, I stayed for me. Being with you brought me to a place I love. I’m happy in Raleigh.”

“Happy with that guy?”

Happiness did swell as I thought of Evan. I had moved on. Halfway on. In? Basically I’d packed my bags and was ready to move all the way. I just needed to know if my boyfriend also wanted to move on together, and if he could handle my baggage.

I tried to tell myself that even if he wasn’t, he’d at least been right when he’d told me I’d be fine on my own.

TWENTY-THREE

“Let her handle it,” Madison said, her grip turning iron. Not that I couldn’t break it, but damn, the girl must’ve worked out a lot before her wedding.

“I told her I’d be here for her, whatever she needed.”

“And right now she needs to know that she’s strong enough to stand up to him and speak her mind, even without you by her side.”

The smile Gwen gave me was clearly supposed to be reassuring, but I didn’t feel assured. Madison did have a point, though, one I’d tried to make on the drive here. I wanted Gwen to know that she’d be fine with or without me. Which was true.

I just wanted her to be fineandwith me.

I forced myself to keep swaying to the beat. “I know. I even told myself that once we got here, I’d let her work it out for herself, too. It’s just harder to watch it go down without interfering than I thought it’d be.”

“I get that.” Madison readjusted our dancing stance and blew her blond bangs out of her eyes. “You know, when Gwen first started talking to me about you, I kind of thought you sounded like one of those handsome, self-centered guys who wasn’t smart enough or good enough for her.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’m not good enough for her.”

A smile spread across her face, the pride in the curve seeming to say I’d given the right answer to a test I didn’t even know I’d been taking. “No one is, but honestly, I haven’t seen her so happy in a long time.” She bit her lip. “Look, I probably shouldn’t tell you this. I take girl code very seriously, but I’m super invested in Gwen’s happiness, and I’m the bride, so I get to do and say whatever I want today.”

“With a preamble like that, I gotta say I’m a little scared of what’s coming next.”

“As you should be,” Madison said with a laugh. Then her expression grew serious. “One, Gwen’s been hurt enough.”

A pang went through my chest. “I know.”

“Two, she thought about dumping you before bringing you to the wedding. She’d texted me and said she didn’t know if she should bring her ‘plus one’ anymore.”

Panic bound my lungs.She’s going to dump me.A second or so later, I realized she was going to dumpEvan, not me. There was something freeing about the knowledge, regardless of the fact that it didn’t let me off the hook for the mess I’d made. But I couldn’t stop obsessing about when she’d changed her mind.

Was it the instant I’d taken his place?

When she’d touched my hand at Sacred Grounds? Had she felt the jolt I had?

Madison tugged on the train of her dress to keep it from getting stomped on by the people dancing around us. “She wasn’t sure you were that into her, or that you guys had what it took to work long term…”

From the first moment Gwen and I met, electricity had crackled the air between us, coursing down my body and leaving me revved and ready for more. I’d never felt a connection so strong in my life.

---