Page 28 of Almost

ERIC SURPRISED ME with breakfast in bed this morning, claiming I deserved a day to rest after such a successful opening. He’s been so kind and great, especially by helping me by going to that awful dinner. I’ve been thinking a lot about what he suggested two weeks ago at the gallery. We’re not officially together, but we’re not,nottogether. What if Eric is right and we should give us another chance? Things could be different this time now that I’m not in a different country every week. The only thing holding me back is that he still feels more like a friend than anything else—just one I’m having sex with. I can’t explain it to myself, but maybe if I give him a real shot, that could change.

Unfortunately, I have plans with Kiera to go tour their wedding venue so that conversation with Eric is going to have to wait until later.

I’m early, but taking advantage of the opportunity to prepare myself for how awkward today will probably be. Unfortunately, it’s also given me the chance to hyperfixate on how I thought I saw Sebastian last night. I didn’t tell anyone because I’m partially convinced I’m crazy, but I alsocan’t make sense as to why he would show up and not say anything to anyone.Well Thalia, maybe it’s because last time you saw him, you were telling him how you actually didn’t say no to his proposal, after punching him.

I don’t think it actually was him. Maybe it was the subconscious part of me that wanted him there just imagined it. No one ever came forward about the donation, and I couldn’t get it out of William who it was.

I need to stop thinking about Sebastian. I shouldn’t care that he might have been there last night.

Kiera’s car pulls up next to mine, and I suck in a deep breath as I open the door to greet her with a hesitant smile. Kiera is wearing a sundress and looks pretty skeptical herself.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure if you’d show.”

She immediately tenses, and I regret opening my mouth. I wasn’t trying to be rude. I really didn’t know. For all I know, they could have called off the wedding.

“Of course I’m here; the wedding is in seven weeks.” Kiera’s smile looks about as fake as mine feels. “We should probably hurry up, I have to study with a friend later.”

Well this is certainly going to be fun, I think to myself, letting Kiera lead the way. The estate is beautiful and we find a number of potential bridal party shoot locations. However, we spend most of the walk in silence. She’ll occasionally make a comment about liking a certain section of landscape that I make sure to take a few pictures of with my camera, but that’s about it for conversation.

I’m trying to be a professional, but this is painfully awkward. This is supposed to be fun—well, actually it’s really not supposed to be fun for me, but I like Kiera and I don’t want my problems with Sebastian to ruin this for her.Theoretically, you go into marriage expecting it to happen only once, so I don’t want her to have bad memories related to what is supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

“Kiera…I want to apologize for how I acted at the dinner you hosted. I shouldn’t have hit Sebastian; I was being a bitch,” I say calmly. I can be the bigger person here because I don’t want to be the reason they’re having problems. It’s not what I wish for them. I don’t quite know what I want for them, but I really wish to not be part of it.

Her light blue eyes narrow at me as she crosses her arms, inadvertently flashing her ring in the sunlight in the process. “I don’t understand, Thalia. Why did you hit him?”

“It’s complicated. I don’t know what Sebastian has told you, but—”

Kiera’s laugh cuts me off, finally showing me a different side to her than the nice girl. It’s honestly a little refreshing to know she isn’t perfect. “I’m so sick of hearing that!It’s complicated.You and Seb are quite the pair because that’s all he’ll tell me about your relationship too. I want the truth. Just tell me what happened, and why you hit my fiancé after we invited you into our home. I had to beg Sebastian to even ask you to photograph our wedding, and I don’t understand why the two of you can’t just get along.”

I’ve underestimated her as the nice girl willing to stand to the side, but she’s clearly underestimated me. I understand how frustrating it is to be on the other side of the wall he puts up, but I am not here to be anyone’s punching bag. I just tried to apologize for something I shouldn’t have to apologize for to make her happy. Yes, I shouldn’t have hit Sebastian, but he’s had it coming for a few weeks now.

This is a conversation he should be having with her, but I’m not going to lie for him. I’m done holding my tongueabout how I really feel about what’s been asked of me lately. It’s too damn much, and I can’t carry the burden anymore.

“You had to beg him for a reason! There are reasons we both say it’s complicated because that is the truth!”

Kiera scoffs, her face reddening. “If it’s so damn complicated, then why did you agree to be our wedding photographer?”

Is she fucking crazy, or just stupid?

My final straw snaps, and I explode as my temper finally wins out over the logic in my brain.

“You think Iwantto photograph your wedding? Do you think it’s fun for me to see you living the life I was supposed to have in the house Bash bought forme? That pretty ring you’re wearing is the same one he proposed to me with three years ago. Kiera, I take no joy in being the one to tell you any of this, but the last few weeks have been hell for me. Sebastian might be a fucking idiot, but he loves you enough that despite everything that’s happened between us, he still asked me to do this for you—because you begged him, and then he begged me.”

“What do you mean he proposed to you?”

I take a few steps away from her, needing to distance myself from the can of worms I just opened. It’s too late; I can’t take it back. “We were together two and a half years, and living in that same house you do the last six months of our relationship. Bash proposed at a restaurant in front of all of our friends and family, and I froze. I didn’t say no, but I didn’t say yes either. I waited days for him to come home, and when he finally did, he told me to leave. I listened, and spent the next three years traveling. I came back when I heard Mimi was dying, and then at her funeral, I saw you wearing the same fucking ring he offered me first.” Thewords explode off my tongue, and I feel better for a brief second before watching her face crumple.

“No, he…he would have told me if that were true,” Kiera insists with tears in her eyes as she looks at the ring adorning her left hand. “This has to be some cruel, sick joke you’re playing on me. Why are you lying?”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

She stares at me wordlessly, and I shouldn’t feel bad, but I do. I know exactly how it feels to be blindsided like this. It’s how I felt at Mimi’s funeral when I saw the ring for the first time since that night at the restaurant. I understand Owen and Blake staying out of it as they are caught in the middle, but Sebastian should have told Kiera the truth from the beginning. He didn’t lie to her if the only thing he said was how things are complicated to us.

A tear falls down her cheek, and I feel my own burn in my eyes.

I hate Sebastian Walker. He should have done this instead of putting me in the position where I had to tell her our past. I think Kiera is naive for only seeing the best in him, because to truly love someone…you have to love the ugly parts of them along with the good parts. I loved all of him—maybe I still do. But having to explain all of this after that dinner? I can confidently say I hate him for this.

I make the choice to walk away first, tears already flowing freely by the time I reach my car. I cry the entire way home, praying that Penelope decided to leave the house today because I’m ashamed of how I handled that. There were a thousand different ways I could have told her, but I chose the most brutal way possible.

---