Page 47 of Almost

If I’m being totally and completely honest, I’m starting to think that Eric and I might be better off friends. I like being with him, but it doesn’t feel like I know it should. I’mnot doing either of us any favors if I pretend to feel things I don’t. You can’t force something that isn’t meant to be.

“I think I’m going to break up with him.” I feel awful saying it, but almost like he can understand English, Zeus licks my hand happily, thumping his tail against the carpet. I’m not sure what beef there is between Zeus and Eric, but Zeus won’t give him the time of day.

“But I thought things were going well?” Blake asks, her eyes widening in surprise. I avoid picking at the hangnail on my thumb, instead threading my fingers through Zeus’s fur.

“They are. I just…it doesn’t feel right.”

Owen’s face softens. “Is that because you’re still hung up on Bash?”

“No, this isn’t about him,” I insist quickly, hoping to make that abundantly clear. “My life doesn’t revolve around Sebastian fucking Walker. I swear, I gave Eric a chance; the sex is good, the emotional stuff is good, butI’mnot good.”

“If it really isn’t working, then I vote you should tell him. Honesty is the best route to take,” Blake says, intertwining her fingers with Owen’s.

I wonder if she’d be saying that if she knew Kiera cheated on Sebastian. “I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

“It sounds like you have, though. What does he think about you quitting the wedding?” Blake asks, finally bringing it up. I know she’s been dying to hear what finally was my tipping point, but she’s been resisting from asking. I appreciate it, but I knew her patience couldn’t last forever.

“Eric thought it was a great idea. I never should have agreed in the first place, but he wasn’t upset because that stupid dinner was the whole reason we got back together.”

Owen clears his throat, hesitating as Blake shoots him a look. “Why did you quit?”

“I didn’t want to be a part of the shit show, nor did I want to contribute any more than I already have.” Vague, but honest. They don’t really want to know the real reason why. Blake is unfortunately friends with Kiera, and Owen and Sebastian are like brothers. I want to stay out of it all completely.

“And Zeus?” Blake asks, and I do feel guilty about that, but not enough to give Zeus back. The texts from Sebastian switched the day after I quit from frantic texts asking what happened to asking for a daily update about Zeus. I’ve obliged, and sent him pictures every day, but he hasn’t asked anything else.

“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. He had Zeus full time for years; it’s my turn. By the way, do you have any edibles?” I change the subject from one extreme to another causing Owen to laugh.

“We haven’t had edibles since college, but nice try. Lia, why won’t you just say what happened between you and Kiera?” Blake says, and it’s tempting to throw Kiera under the bus.

I chew the inside of my cheek, the metallic taste of blood telling me I bit too hard. “I hope Kiera can find someone else.”

Just kidding. I hope her secret comes out, but I won’t be the one telling anyone.

~

Since voicing my thoughts about potentially breaking up with Eric, it’s all I’ve been able to think about. So I called the one person who can always make complete sense of everything.

He picks up on the second ring, and I smile hearing his voice. “Hey, Lia, what’s cracking?”

Sebastian’s relationship, my relationship, my mind because of this secret. Everything is cracking. “My heart because you’re not here, Chris,” I respond playfully. One of the best things that came out of Duke was my unexpected friendship with Chris.

His deep laughter rings through the line, warming my heart. “Always the drama queen.”

“Always. How’s my favorite guy?”

“I’m assuming you’re talking about Henry and not me, but he’s good. All he talks about is going to the beach. He loves the ocean.”

I smile at the thought of the little boy I’m smitten with. “Of course I’m talking about Henry. I can’t stand you. Make sure you teach him about mermaids.”

“I’ll do my best to make sure he knows mermaids are real, but I’d like to remind you that you called me,” Chris teases.

“Oops. My mistake. I was trying to call someone else to tell them about my midlife crisis.”

I imagine that Chris is shaking his head right now because I’m only twenty-six; it doesn’t classify as a midlife crisis yet. “Can’t be a midlife crisis. It’ll have to be a quarter-life crisis unless you’re an impostor pretending to be a lot younger than you actually are.”Exactly.

“You know, you don’t always have to be so literal,” I say sarcastically.

“You’re so full of shit; quit stalling and tell me what’s going on.”

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