Page 43 of The Christmas Cowboy

“Your father proposed to me here. Right here in this spot, where you have the perfect view of the Gallatins and any of our horses that we pasture here.”

Okay, that made sense. He wondered why she’d never told them. “You still miss him, don’t you?” He knew she did. He did too.

“Every day.”

“Is that why you won’t pick a date to marry Clint?”

She was silent so long he thought she wouldn’t answer. Finally, she said, “Part of it.”

“You always said you’d marry Clint once I was settled. I’m married and the new hands are working out. And the ranch manager has been great. I’d call that settled. So what’s the holdup?”

“Are you trying to kick me out of my own home?”

“No, I’m asking when you’re going to marry Clint.”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s going on, Mom? I thought you wanted to marry Clint. I’m pretty sure he thinks so. Although he might not anymore.”

“He doesn’t. He’s mad at me. In fact, yesterday he gave me an ultimatum. Can you imagine?”

He sure as hell could. If he were Clint he’d have given her one long ago. “What did he say?”

“He said we either set a date or we’re done.”

“Do you blame him? What’s holding you up? Don’t you love him?”

She sighed heavily. “Yes. But I sure as hell don’t like being given an ultimatum.”

“If you wanted to marry him, he shouldn’t have had to give you one.”

“I care about him, Liam. I do. I’m just not sure I’m ready to get married.”

“Why? You and Clint have been together for a long time now.”

“Yes. But we haven’t been married.” She sighed and started walking back to the barn. “Your father would have been so happy to see you married to Val.”

“How do you get that? She was a kid when Dad was alive.”

“We always thought once she grew up that Val would suit you. Why, for one thing, she’s as crazy about horses as you are.”

He thought his mother was imagining things, but he didn’t speak.

“Your father was the love of my life. When he died…if it hadn’t been for you boys I’m not sure what I’d have done.”

“We all loved him, Mom. But he’s been gone for eight years. He would want you to move on.”

“Maybe. But I don’t know if I can. If I get married again it means he’s really gone. He’s never coming back.”

Liam didn’t know what to say to that.

“When I think about marrying Clint…I can’t because I still feel married to your father.”

“But, Mom, you’ve been dating Clint for several years now. You’ve been together, even if you haven’t been married.” He was not going to ask her about her sex life. Nope. No way, no how. But if she’d put Clint off for that long—surely she hadn’t.

“I know. I had a hard time with that at first, but it got better the longer we dated. I can ignore those feelings of guilt if we’re just dating. Because I know in my head that he’s gone. But marriage—marriage to someone else makes it real and final. I’m still not ready for that. If Clint can’t understand how I feel, then maybe it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore.”

What the hell? “Mom, I’m sorry but that’s just—” He started to say stupid but thought better of it. “It doesn’t make sense. Unless you never really wanted to marry Clint. But I sure thought you did.”

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