Page 35 of Naughty & Nice

I’m pretty sure it’s worse than it actually is as well. I’m numb.

The past hour… well, to say I didn’t see it coming would be an exaggeration.

Sure, Noelle hasn’t been quite like herself since we left our house in South Carolina yesterday morning. But while I suspected that Wilder’s sudden appearance on our little trip might have had something to do with it, I never could have predicted what I now fear to be the reason.

Was running away the best reaction? N

If I were more like Wilder, I probably would have stayed and had it out with them both.

But I’m not him. And isn’t that the whole fucking issue with my life?

I. Am. Not. Wilder.

I’ve learned to deal with not being the fun one, the smart one, the athletic one, the popular one. I could because I had her.

Noelle never looked at me like the second-best twin. From day one, our connection always made me her favorite, and that meant everything to me.

If that’s no longer the case, then…

I stop in the middle of the deserted street and look up.

The falling snow makes my head spin like I’m in a wintery vortex, but I welcome the sensation. It’s a hell of a lot better than focusing on the pain in my chest.

I’ve no idea what to do.

I know what I should do. I should confront them and demand the truth.

But that’s going to hurt. I don’t want that.

It’s Christmas.

It’s supposed to be the time for happiness and miracles, not pain and heartbreak.

This should have been the trip that dreams are made of for us, but day one and it’s already turning into a nightmare.

The snow is settling faster than I’ve ever seen, and not two seconds after I’ve taken a step has my mark been eradicated.

It’s a sight that doesn’t make me feel any better about the current situation.

Could I be forgotten about just as easily?

I have no idea how long passes by the time I convince myself that I need to return to the cabin and deal with the situation.

The sun is already sinking in the sky, teasing me with the fact that I’ve wasted the first day of our vacation.

I can barely see anything in front of me as I close in on our cabin, the snow is so heavy. The wind is also picking up, bitter and painful against the exposed skin of my face.

With my head down, I trudge through the snow and up onto our deck.

The lights glowing through the windows taunt me, and I can’t help but slow my pace and look into the living room.

Wilder is on the couch on his cell and Noelle is reading. It’s a sight I’ve seen many, many times over the years. But this time, despite the fact they’re sitting feet apart and totally innocently, my heart picks up speed.

What would I have done if I'd discovered a very different scene?

If Wilder was touching her the way he had earlier? His hand around her delicate throat, her breath catching, betraying her feelings?

Would she lean into him? Beg for more in the way I want more from her?

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