Page 14 of Save Me

He throws me to the ground and my head ricochets off the hard floor. Before I can even comprehend the ache in my skull, the air is knocked from my lungs as he throws himself on top of me.

Something in me snaps and any semblance of hesitation disappears, replaced by an overwhelmingly primal urge to escape, to get out of his grasp.

I scream but I’m quickly silenced by his hand over my mouth.

My brain disconnects from my body and I’m barely aware of the struggle taking place, of the fight I’m putting up against him. I kick and claw at him, my nails digging into flesh, but it doesn’t make a difference. He laughs in between grunts as he continues to pin me against the cold floor, his hands digging into me.

“Oh come on, Evi, stop putting up such a fight. It’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

I swear my heart stops beating as I freeze, my eyes meeting his, searching for any truth behind his gaze.

“I thought that might get your attention,” he says with a chuckle as darkness dances behind his eyes. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember our time together?” he continues, the smile on his lips evidence of how much he’s enjoying drawing out my misery.

A familiar feeling of panic and dread starts to rise inside of me, and the taste of bile in the back of my throat overpowers the taste of blood on my lips.

I couldn’t have …

He couldn’t have …

His laugh echoes above the sound of our breathing, drowning out the noise of my heart palpitating in my chest.

“Oh,” he mocks, “I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. After all, you out-drank all of us that night. We literally had to carry you back to your place.”

I try to catch my breath, my chest failing to rise fully with him on top of me as I connect the dots. I try to remember what he’s talking about but my memory is blank, like so many of the nights I spent with Rhett. My hands are shaking by my side and I feel as though I’m going to be sick, my stomach churning within me.

He leans into me, his lips brushing against my ear.

“You didn’t mind the other guys, but you moaned the loudest for me. So just stop fighting it,babe.”

Something inside of me cracks and I throw everything I have at him, every ounce of fight I have left in my body. I aim for any sensitive area I can get my hands on, clawing like a wild animal trying to get free of a trap. I feel skin give way as something warm trickles down my fingers.

“You stupid fucking bitch!” he yells in response to my nails carving out another line down the side of his face.

The satisfaction of hurting him is short-lived as his hand squeezes against my throat, my oxygen cut off suddenly. My eyes go wide as my vision blurs and I’m frozen in time, my mind going blank and my body going numb as he looks at me, seemingly unconcerned by my inability to breathe.

“Fucking play nice. You’re making this way harder than it needs to be,” he rages.

He lets go of my throat slightly and a guttural sound makes its way out of my mouth as I gulp down air.

I feel his other hand at my waistband before I even realize he’s moved it. I flail underneath his touch but no matter howmuch I fight, how much I struggle, I can’t move enough to make a difference, his solid frame holding me still.

This is not real. This cannot be real.

My heart rate speeds up and my breathing becomes frantic. I can feel the fear and adrenaline coursing through me with such force that I can’t even think, and I don’t even notice I’m crying until I feel the tears running down my face.

A shiver runs through my body as cold air hits my legs, my pants no longer on me. I twist and turn, trying to dislodge him from on top of me, but it’s no use. He uses his knees to push my legs further apart, and reality starts to hit me—I’m trapped with nowhere to go and no one to save me.

This is not real. This cannot be real.

I flinch as his hand pulls my underwear aside, brushing against me, and a sob heaves through me, shaking me to my core. I feel his hand pressed between us and the sound of his pants being undone echoes against my skin. I thrash underneath him, my motions desperate as I try to fight him off, to get away from here.

This is not real. This cannot be real.

Despite my struggle I barely move an inch under his hold. I look around the room, desperately searching for anything that can help me in my fight before my eyes land on the bedroom door. I beg for someone to help me, anyone. I plead with all that I have for Jax to find me, to save me, but my words are useless.

He lines himself up with me and I try to move, try to shift away, but I can’t.

A guttural sob leaves my lips as he thrusts into me fully, and the sharp sting of pain flares deep within my core. I go still under his assault, unable to breathe and unable to cry, unable to do anything except stare at the bedroom door, the sound of my ragged breaths and his heavy panting suddenly seeming far away.

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