Page 83 of Save Me

“Wanna fuck, Evi?” Tanner calls out as he walks up the stairs, before sniggering as only silence answers him. “Well look at that—she isn’t saying no.”

I pause the video. It stops on Tanner’s face, on the grin that’s nothing short of predatory. I stand up, moving on autopilot as I walk out of the room, the blanket forgotten on the chair.

I walk slowly down the hallway, once again following the trail of lights, shivering from both the cold and the shock of what I’ve just watched.

I knew something had happened. Even if my memory didn’t, my body did.

I remember what it was like going into work, what it was like feeling my bruised knees on the hard floor as I counted bottles of alcohol before my shift. I remember how angry, and confused I felt confronting Rhett, and how lost I felt walking to the bar after my shift, trying to drink away everything that I felt had happened, even if I couldn’t put it into words.

I remember Jax getting me home, remember him pausing and asking about the bruises on my legs, and now I’m pretty sure I know where they came from, I just don’t know who left them.

As I pass the kitchen I hear a loud smack, followed by several more in a row. I follow the sound to the workout room, where I pause outside the doorway. I peek my head through the open door, looking into the room only to find Jax absolutely pummeling the pads Ryan has on his hands. He’s dripping in sweat, his fists are a blur, and despite Ryan’s size and muscularbuild, I can see him straining to keep his stance as Jax’s punches knock him back a step.

“She deserves to see it,” Jax says between punches, his breathing is heavy, but he doesn’t stop.

“It will break her,” Ryan says, his own breathing labored as he continues to block Jax’s blows.

“You don’t think I know that? You don’t think I recognize what this will do to her?” he yells, but there’s a sorrow to it, a pain underneath the anger.

I watch Jax as he turns his anger into something tangible, as he works out the aggression blazing within him, channeling it into this workout with Ryan. A workout that I’m sure neither of them planned on doing right now.

“All in or all out remember? That was my deal with her,” Jax says, his voice softer, quieter now. “She can decide if she wants to see it. She deserves to have a choice.”

Ryan only nods in agreement, bracing against Jax’s strength until he’s winded, his punches slowing down until they stop altogether. No one has noticed me yet, and I clear my throat as I walk into the room as Jax wipes the sweat from his brow. Ryan looks at me briefly before averting his gaze and it’s only then I realize what I’m wearing, my blanket left forgotten in the office, and my lace bralette and underwear leaving little to the imagination.

“Christ, love.” Jax’s gaze roams over my body, lingering for a second on the sheer lace between my thighs before he moves, grabbing his shirt from the weight bench pushed up against the wall. He walks up to me, gently pulling the shirt over my head. I look at him as I bring my arms into the shirt, noticing the gleam to his eyes and the beads of sweat covering his face and torso.

The fabric falls to my thighs, and only once it’s on do I realize how cold I am.

I look over to Ryan who gives me an assessing stare before giving Jax a pointed look.

“What’s going on in here?” I ask, knowing exactly why Jax is working off the anger I can feel bubbling beneath the surface, exactly why Ryan’s gaze is as dark as midnight.

The sorrow in Jax’s eyes rises to the surface for a second before he pushes it back down.

“We got the evidence,” he says gently. “We’ve got enough to ruin him, to ruin both of them.”

I go to speak but Ryan cuts me off, the darkness in his eyes retreating only to show the same grief-stricken look as Jax. “It’s a lot, Evi,” Ryan says, as if he’s trying to soften the blow of what they’re about to tell me. “It’s… a lot. It wasn’t easy to watch it’s—”

“I know,” I cut him off.

Surprise and confusion flashes across their faces, looking at me for an explanation.

“I didn’t mean to snoop,” I continue as I shift from one foot to the other, my fingers fidgeting in front of me as I look at Jax. “I, um—I was looking for you, and when I went into your office, I noticed a USB that wasn’t there yesterday…”

“Shit,” they both say, almost in unison. They give each other a worried glance, before looking back at me.

“I stopped watching before anything happened, but I can guess how it ended.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Who? How many?” I ask before I can stop myself. A part of me doesn’t want to know the answer, doesn’t want to hear the words come out of Jax’s mouth, but a larger part of me needs to hear it, needs to know so I can find closure.

“Four,” Ryan says, his voice deathly calm. I look at him as tears well in my eyes, and Jax’s thumb wipes them away as they start to fall.

“Rhett, Tanner, and two others we don’t know,” he says carefully. “Did you recognize anyone else?”

I shake my head. “I don’t remember any of that night. A few flashbacks, but no faces or names. How? How could I have done this to myself? Gotten myself so fucked up I can’t even remember the people who I’ve slept with?” I throw my hands up in the air, the frustration and inner turmoil starting to overflow.

“Done thisto yourself?People youslept with?” Jax repeats quietly. “They fucking raped you. They drugged you andrapedyou.”

He holds my hands as he looks at me, his eyes searching mine. “Your actions, your choices, to party, to drink, to go out dancing, have nothing to do with what they decided to do once you passed out.”

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