Page 84 of Save Me

“But Rhett and I—”

“I don’t give a fuck how many times you told Rhett you wanted him, how many times you invited him into your bed. The fucking second you weren’t able to consent, that invitation is void. And for him to just offer you to his friends—” He pauses as his eyes darken. “The bruises on your thighs the night I brought you home… that was after this,” he says.

Not really a question, but I nod in confirmation anyway.

“I need names,” he says, his fists clenching by his sides.

“I’ll call Bryce,” Ryan says.

I turn to him, only to see his body tight with tension as well, a mirror of Jax.

“He was there that night—at the beginning anyway. He’d know everyone in Rhett’s group,” Ryan explains quietly.

Jax doesn’t look at him as he responds, but instead leans in closer to me, one hand gently on my waist while the other turns my face towards him. His voice softer than before. “Tell me you understand, love, tell me you know this isn’t your fault, that you didn’t do anything to cause this. I know you’re used toshouldering the blame, I know you’ve been led to believe that everything bad that happens to you is your fault, but please, tell me you understand that none of this is because of your actions. That no one ever, and I mean ever, deserves what happened to you.”

“I don’t deserve you,” I say quietly, leaning into Jax as his arms wrap around me.

*

I follow Jaxinto the kitchen, the smell of coffee reaching my nose before we step into the space as Ryan is dutifully pouring it into three mugs, adding sugar and cream accordingly. After we spoke about the video it became clear we were all sleep-deprived and emotional over what we found, so Jax suggested we speak over coffee instead. So here we are, fifteen minutes later and a quick shower for Jax, about to decide what to do with the evidence the tech guys found for us.

Shadows still lurk in the corners of the room, the lights only able to illuminate so much of the space.

We sit at the kitchen table, and I hunch over my coffee as soon as Ryan places it in front of me, my hands wrapping around the warm mug.

“Bryce will be here in a while,” Ryan says as he takes a seat across from us.

“You called him at… four in the morning?” I ask, surprised.

“Yes,” Ryan says simply as he brings his mug to his mouth and takes a sip.

“And he agreed to come?”

“He didn’t have a choice.” Ryan flashes me a smile and I wonder what lurks on the other side of his laidback nature, what parts of him he keeps hidden so the world doesn’t see exactly what he’s capable of.

“What do you want to do about this video?” Jax asks me.

“I… don’t know,” I say, looking between him and Ryan. “I just figured you guys would do whatever needs to be done with it to get Rhett and Tanner to show themselves again…” I trail off.

“It’s your call, love,” Jax says. “The video would incriminate them, would cause a scandal that would send shockwaves through every corner of their lives, but I’m not going to do it… I’m not going to show the world a video of you, naked, with them, if I don’t have to.”

“We could blur her face,” Ryan says, his fingers tapping on the table as he thinks out loud. “We have tech guys for a reason… I doubt it would be hard for them to make it so no one could figure out it was you.”

Jax raises an eyebrow towards me, as if to say,your call.

“Is there any other way to find them quickly? Any other way to bring them to justice or hit them this hard?”

“We could find another way, it would take longer, but we could make it happen.”

“But that could take, what—days? Weeks? Months? Longer maybe? And this would take…”

“Minutes,” Ryan answers quietly. “It would take a matter of minutes to leak this video to everyone on Bryce’s list.”

“Leak it then.” I let the words slip from my mouth before I can second-guess my decision, ignoring the shame and embarrassment that causes my heart to beat quickly and my hands to feel clammy.

“If that’s all it will take for everyone to see who they actually are, if that’s all it will take for them to get called home and for you to catch them”—I feel the anger rising in my chest—“I want every part of their lives destroyed. If this is going to do that, going to get them fired, going to get them ostracized from everyone and everything they enjoy, then do it. Leak it.”

I go quiet as the weight of my decision sinks in.

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