Page 94 of Save Me

I sigh. “Not quite alone,” I say. When he doesn’t answer I continue, “I’ve been seeing someone for a while, and he’s been… helping me navigate everything. He’s been wonderful.” I smile at just the thought of Jax.

“I’m happy you’ve had someone to help you,” Garrett says carefully.

I check the time on my phone again, wondering what Jax is doing right now, waiting impatiently for Ryan to come get me.

“Anyway, I should probably go. Like I said, it’s not the best time,” I say into the phone. “Plus we want to keep you on good terms with Dad, right?” I can’t help the sarcasm that drips into my tone.

“He cut me off too,” Garrett says solemnly.

Surprise rolls through me. “He what?”

“He knows about the video…” He trails off.

I feel like I can’t breathe. “Did he…” I can’t bring myself to finish the sentence, to ask if he saw it.

“I told him about the video. He knows what happened to you, but he never watched it,” Garrett says quietly as if reading my mind.

My dad knows what happened to me, and he hasn’t reached out.

“And he just… what? Doesn’t care enough about me to call and make sure I’m okay?”

Garrett takes breath but doesn’t say anything.

“And what did he say exactly?” I ask before I can stop myself.

“You don’t want to know.”

“Garrett…” I pace nervously as my heart beats loudly in my chest. I take a deep breath, bracing myself for an answer I know I probably won’t like.

“He said that your ability to disappoint him will never cease to amaze him,” he says quickly, as if trying to make the words hurt less by saying them as fast as he can. “I told him he was wrong, told him he had no right thinking—let alone saying—that about you after what happened. And that’s why he cut me off…” He trails off.

I laugh,actually laugh, and I feel crazy for doing so.

“Evi?”

“It’s just…” I laugh again. “It’s so fucking typical of him.” I wipe a tear from my cheek before continuing, “My whole life I tried so hard to make them happy. Did whatever they asked, all the time. The dance lessons, the music lessons… I even let them tell me what degree to pursue at school. I dideverythingthey asked of me, just hoping that they’d see how hard I was trying, and I don’t know… recognize it? Give me some creditfor how much I was killing myself to make them happy? And it still wasn’t enough. The second I choose to do something for me, something that I want, they cut me off, and now…” I laugh again. “And now he’s disappointed in me… for being assaulted?” I spit the words as my fists clench and my heartbeat pounds in my ears.

“I lost it at him, trying to explain that none of this was your fault. Trying to talk some sense into him,” Garret says. “You know what he’s like—nothing is ever good enough for him and nothing ever will be. And I know it’s not much of a consolation, but at least he won’t tell anyone about the video.”

“Because he wouldn’t want word getting out about how much of a disappointment I am?”

Garrett ignores my comment. “I won’t tell anyone either, Evi. Maybe not for the same reasons as Dad, but because it’s your story, your experience, and I think you should be able to choose who knows.”

I nod, even though he can’t see me, and my attention snaps to the front door as it opens and Ryan strides into the room.

“Thanks,” I say, “but I really do have to go now.”

I don’t give him the chance to respond before I end the call, pocketing my phone and turning to Ryan, who’s looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“My brother,” I say.

“Ah. Didn’t go well I take it?”

“He saw the video.”

“Shit,” Ryan says. “Are you okay?”

“I will be,” I say earnestly. “I just need time to process everything. But that can wait.”

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