Page 43 of Mountain Refuge

Was this just a kiss or did it mean more?

Christ, I sounded like a fucking teenager. Does he love me, does he love me not, does he love me…? I was starting to get a headache. I’d spent four months pining over the man and yet I had no answers when he finally kissed me.

Maybe I should walk away. Kiss or not, thatwas the soundest choice. Less drama, less risk of heartbreak. Walking away would be safe.

Elijah’s deep brown eyes met mine from across the room. Fuck it, I didn’t want safe. I wantedElijah.

The party seemed to drag on. Per the birthday girl’s request, we had spaghetti cake for dessert. That was a new one for me. Mind, I also hadn’t been to a child’s birthday party in a very long time so maybe this was a new fad.

My brain was having a real Ross-and-Rachel dilemma going on. Fact of it was, though, that no decisions could be made until Elijah and I talked. Thiswill we, won’t wespiral that was going on in my head right now was pointless.

Eventually, we journeyed outside to sit around the fire pit. Since Corbin only had two lawn chairs, we brought out some of the kitchen chairs too. A little bit later, the party goers started to drop off. Lucas went down first. Gertie took him in, claiming she was done for the night too. Belle tried to hold out, but the excitement of the party and the day finally got to her. She crashed on Corbin’s lap, the princess tiara he’d gotten her falling to the side of her head.

Corbin stood with her securely in his arms. He elbowed Dalton’s shoulder since his hands were full. “Mind following me in? I’ve got a project I want to run by you once the ground thaws.”

And then there were two.

Elijah let out a low chuckle as soon as the door closed behind them. “He’s not exactly subtle.”

“Most of us out here aren’t. We gave up drama a long time ago.”

Elijah caught on to my double meaning. “Look, Brooke, I’m not going to say I shouldn’t have kissed you. That would dampen the moment for both of us. Truthfully, I’m glad I did it.”

“But,” I prompted when he stopped talking.

“It’s not abut. More of a concern that I need to talk through with you. You need to understand what you’re getting into if you choose to be with me. I’ve tried to fight this, I really have. I was almost grateful for the snow because it kept me from going out and stupidly trying to find your cabin again. I want to start something with you.”

“I appreciate your honesty.” We were sitting opposite the fire from each other. It made it easier to see his face, which I was glad for. “So let me be honest in return.

“I like you too, Ad— I mean, Elijah. That’s not even a question at this point. We liked each other when we were stuck together in my cabin, and we like each other now. Our separation over the winter has proven that the attraction between us is real, not fleeting. But if we’re going to start something, I need you to becompletelyhonest with me. About everything, even if you think it’s too dangerous for me to know. Ineedthat honesty between us. I can’t be constantly wondering if today is the day you go on the run again and leave me behind without answers or at least knowing why.”

“I don’t want to run again. My kids are safe here. But there’s always a risk. That’s never going to go away.”

“I know. I knew that before.” Once I’d figured out he wasn’t a lost tourist, that is. “I’m not expecting you to tell me everything right this minute, but it will need to be soon. Certainly before sex is even considered an option for us.”

Elijah gave me a cocky smirk. “Oh, it’s more than an option. It’s inevitable.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. He chuckled.

“I also feel I need to be honest with you. You once asked why I was living on this mountain. It’s a long story, but I’d like for you to know.”

Elijah stood and came to sit in the other lawn chair next tome. He took my hand, lacing our fingers together. I tightened my grip, remembering the pain from the last time we did this. His look was sympathetic, telling me he remembered too.

“Tell me as much or as little as you want to.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath. “I haven’t talked about this in almost a decade. Not exactly easy, remembering your faults and mistakes.

“First of all, I need to tell you that I was married.” Elijah looked shocked but didn’t interrupt. “Tyler was the love of my life. I’m not saying that to hurt you or even to compare the two of you, but you need to understand my devotion to him. Tyler and I met our freshman year of college. We were inseparable. We did everything together. Our friends called us ‘sickeningly in love’. We were each other’s firsts too. I loved how he would always reach for me, like he couldn’t stand not to touch me. When we had separate classes, he would risk being late to his own so he could walk me to mine. The dorms were split by gender, but he would sneak in after visiting hours were over to stay the night with me.

“He asked me to marry him at the start of our senior year. I, of course, said yes. We decided to wait until after graduation to get married. My parents and my siblings were thrilled for me. My best friend since she was born was my younger sister, Kate. Even though we’d gone to different colleges, we were still close. ‘Thick as thieves,’ our mother called us.

“Tyler and I got married. We bought a house, we started our jobs, and we were still sickeningly in love. He supported me when I went for my detective’s shield and I supported him when he changed marketing companies. Tyler would text me heart emojis throughout the day to let me know he was thinking of me. I wrote love notes to him and put them in his lunch bag. We talked about kids, but I honestly wasn’t interested in becoming a mother. I was being selfish. I wantedTyler all to myself and he said he was fine with not having kids.

“So, ten years ago, four years into our marriage, I was completely shocked and taken by surprise when I picked up his phone to find an unread text message from ‘Unknown’ on the front screen reading ‘Tomorrow at lunch. I won’t wear panties this time.’”

“Oh fuck.” Elijah’s jaw dropped. “I was not expecting that. I thought you were going to tell me he died.”

I snorted. “If only I had been so lucky. As awful as it is for me to say, I think it would have been easier to get over.

---