Page 48 of Mountain Refuge

Yet, I knew that tomorrow (after I’d gotten some much needed sleep) I would be heading up to Corbin’s cabin to see Elijah.

Chapter Nineteen

Elijah

Ihad a rough night. I kept waking from vivid dreams of police kicking down the door and taking my children away from me. At one point, I’d even gone into Gertie and Belle’s room to verify that Belle was in the cabin, safe and sound asleep after her big day. Her tiara had still been on her head. Corbin probably didn’t have the heart to take it off her. I did so it didn’t get tangled in her hair as she slept.

My precious angel.

Lucas was also sleeping soundly. He didn’t wake much through the night anymore. Generally, once he was down, he was down. I was usually grateful for that, as it allowed me to sleep uninterrupted too. Tonight, though, a part of me wished he’d wake up so I could have an excuse not to go back to sleep.

I knew Brooke wasn’t going to go to the police. I wouldn’t have told her a single thing if I’d had any doubt about that. I’d taken a chance in telling her what I did, but it needed to be said if she was going to take a risk on me.

If Brooke and I did start dating, and that was still a bigif, I needed to have a conversation with Belle. I knew she considered Brooke a friend and I didn’t want Belle to think I was takingaway from that friendship at all. I would also need to pay close attention to Belle’s relationship with Brooke to make sure she wasn’t becoming overly attached to Brooke. As a female figure, and a potential mother figure, Belle might become attached as a way to disassociate from her past. In her previous life as Lydia, she didn’t have a mother. She might try to make it soBelledid have a mother, essentially forming a completely new life around that relationship.

I was getting ahead of myself, though. Christ, we’d only kissed once before we both revealed some painful experiences from our pasts.

I couldn’t believe Brooke’s husband and sister. How could they do that to her? Regardless of blood or vows, they had started an affairknowingBrooke would find out. They might not have known when, but they had to have known she would eventually. Or maybe they were the type of cheaters who believed their actions were justified by something Brooke had said or done. Regardless, they had not started an affair knowing that Brooke would not be hurt as a result.

Yet both claimed to have loved her.

Fools.

If I was lucky enough to one day win Brooke’s love, I’d hold on tight to it and never let it go. She was an amazing person, strong and independent. She was made of steel after surviving her ordeal with no familial support. I was glad there had been no children caught up in the mix.

I remembered Brooke confessing that she didn’t want to have children. When she’d said it, she’d made the comment that she was selfish and hadn’t wanted to share her husband. I could understand that. Children were certainly attention-seeking monsters with big appetites and curious minds. I just hoped she understood I was a package deal. I was never going to leave mychildren or abandon them. Despite what I had done to claim them, they weremine.

I must have fallen asleep again because no sooner did I have the attention-seeking monster thought than forty-eight pounds of spaghetti-filled child land on me. “Hmph!” came out of me as I quickly put a hand over my family jewels to protect them from bony knees.

My little angel devilishly grinned down at me. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hi, Angel.” I couldn’t help but grin back at her. I looked over at the crib to see Lucas standing up, holding onto the rails. “Did you sleep well?”

She nodded like a bobblehead. “Can we have pancakes?”

If Belle was up, that meant Gertie was also up. Likely, Corbin’s mother was already in the kitchen getting breakfast together for us. Corbin would be outside working. I really needed to start figuring out a way to help him with that. The one time I’d tried to help him chop wood, I’d fallen on my ass.

Belle still brought it up on occasion, to my utter humiliation.

I picked my daughter up as I got out of bed. I wore sweatpants and a white undershirt. I always made sure my back was covered when around Belle, not wanting her to regress and have flashbacks about watching my flogging. It was bad enough that I still had nightmares about the experience.

She giggled as I flipped her upside down and held her by her ankles. Her nightgown fell down around her face. Belle frantically tried to squirm out of my hold, but I kept ahold of her until I lowered her into the crib next to Lucas. “Stay with your brother while I go to the bathroom.”

Her giggles were soon joined by his as she tickled him. It was the best sound in the world. Sometimes I wished I still had my phone so I could record times like this or take pictures for them to look back on when they were older. I hoped theyunderstood as they grew why anything like that would be too dangerous for us to keep around just for sentimental reasons.

But I still wished.

I wanted my children safe. I knew that was the priority. But at what expense? What would happen when Belle got old enough to want to go into town on her own or to go on a date with a boy? I cringed at the last one. Lucas might want to play sports or go to a summer camp.

At what point would I think enough time had passed for me to let the reins loose?

I wanted to say never, but I knew how unrealistic that was. And hypocritical, given what I’d told Brooke last night.

When I was done in the bathroom, I got the kids together and joined Gertie in the kitchen. I gave her a peck on the cheek as I passed.

“Angel, what do you say to Grammy for creating your cake last night?”

Belle was sitting on her knees. She drew herself up on the table. “Thank you, Grammy! It was awesome!”

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