Page 53 of Mountain Refuge

When we could grab adult-only moments, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. While we hadn’t had intercourse, we’d done most everything else. Just last week, I’d pinned Brooke up against a tree and made her come with my fingers. Due to the kids being close by, I’d also had to cover her mouth with my other hand. I’d never been one for adventurous, outdoors escapades, but damn I don’t think I’d ever not want to have Brooke. Anywhere.

The kids and I had slept over her cabin a couple of times. The first time, Brooke had taken the couch again. But the next time, Belle had invited her into bed with us. Since then, anytime we stayed over, it was in her bed with the kids between us. Some nights, we barely slept, just stared at each other with our hands clasped over the children.

It was near perfect. A glimpse of an optimistic future.

As summer started to die down, I started growing restless. Upon waking that morning, it felt like I had imaginary ants crawling all over my body. I couldn’t scrub myself hard enough in the shower. I was twitching and itching all through breakfast, to the point where I caught the glances shared by all over one year old. I hadn’t figured out why until I realized the day’s date.

Two years ago, Belle had watched as her birth father had flogged me, scarring me mentally and physically. I hadn’t even realized what my body had been trying to tell me with my increased anxiety, my dark mood, and my inability to sit still. The date explained the increase in my nightmares as well.

I knew that Corbin and Gertie could tell something was bothering me. Corbin knew about my scars and what had caused them, but I’m not sure he’d put the timeline together from the story I’d told him.

Hell, if it hadn’t been for Corbin’s scheduled trip to town tomorrow, I’m not sure I would have put it together either. As Brooke had once said, you stop paying attention to dates and days of the week up here. Time was different on the mountain.

But my body had still known. Subconsciously I’d still known.

I decided to take a walk after breakfast. I didn’t want the kids to grow worried by my foul mood, nor did I want to say something to them I’d later regret. I figured the best choice was to remove myself from our little mountain haven for the day.

There was an overlook a few miles away from the cabin. We’d brought the kids here multiple times over the spring and summer for picnics. I hadn’t even realized that was my destination until I’d arrived.

I couldn’t change the past. I knew that. And I’d never for one moment, even in the worst of the pain, regretted taking the punishment Gunther had deemed his daughter worthy of. I would never have forgiven myself if I’d stood by and watched asmy daughterwas punished, regardless of whether that punishment would have been the same as mine.

Sometimes I wondered if Gunther had chosen a stricter punishment for me because he saw how attached his daughter was to me. Maybe he thought he could break that bond by making me bleed.

Regardless, I would have taken that punishment ten times over to save my daughter from that monster.

Iknewthat to the marrow of my bones. Yet…every time I saw my scars in the mirror or felt one twinge or pull when I moved in a certain way… I wondered why I had stayed all those years.

I knew why I stayed. I’d never abandon my daughter. Lydia or Belle, she wasmine. From the moment I’d held her in that delivery room, she was mine.

It wasn’t until Gunther had started bringing Belle around his business associates that things had become bad. If we’d remained invisible, I’m not sure I would have run with the kids. I might have stuck it out until Lucas was eighteen and then they would be legal to make their own decisions and choose who their father was.

I shook my head at that ridiculousness. Gunther would have never allowed us to remain invisible. I was pretty sure the only reason he hadn’t bothered us for the first five years of Belle’s life was because she wasn’t yet useful to him at such a young age.

Arms encircled my middle. I was sitting on a large rock facing the expansive horizon of the Montana forest. Despite not seeing who was behind me, I’d know her touch anywhere.

My hands immediately went to hers at my waist. I closedmy eyes and leaned back against her. I didn’t know how she’d found me, but I was so grateful she had. Brooke quieted the noise. She made all the bad disappear with just a touch.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head.

We’d talked a lot about what Belle and I had gone through at the hands of her birth father, but I wasn’t ready to talk about this. Perhaps I didn’t want her to see me as damaged. In all our fondling and make-out sessions, I’d never allowed her to remove my shirt or put her hands on my bare back. I wasn’t sure if she’d picked up on that but, even if she did, she didn’t know why.

She moved herself closer, pressing her chest to my back. We remained like that until the sun started its descent. It couldn’t disappear fast enough, ending the anniversary of that horrible day.

I’m not sure which one of us moved first, but Brooke ended up in front of me straddling my lap. Her blue eyes seemed so bright this evening. I loved her eyes. They seemed to sparkle whenever she was being humorous or mischievous. Even in my delirium from being exhausted, I never forgot how her eyes were the first thing I’d noticed about her. They were so beautiful, so emotional.

I knew she was worried about me, but I wasn’t sure how to explain the turmoil going through my mind. I wasn’t even sureIunderstood it.

I leaned my head forward, resting my cheek against her chest. God, I loved her tits. They were perfectly sized handfuls of goodness. The few times I’d tasted them, all I’d wanted was more. Where she thought they were too saggy, I only saw perfection. Like me, she couldn’t see herself clearly.

“How did you know I needed you?”

She wrapped her arms around my head, holding me closer. My grip on her hips tightened. With our current positions, therewas no way she couldn’t feel my arousal pressing between her legs. What I wouldn’t give to remove our clothing in that moment.

“You were supposed to meet me at my cabin this morning. When you didn’t show and weren’t answering your radio, I reached out to Corbin.” I felt her lips brush against the top of my head.

Shit. I’d forgotten about our plans. At least she hadn’t assumed I’d purposefully stood her up. Unintentional or not, I still felt bad. She’d driven all the way up here and I wasn’t even in the mood to talk.

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