Ade shook his head in exasperation. He was on dangerous ground. It always began like this, but he refused to back down.
“I’m sorry, Ferg, but I’m late.” Ade got up and waited for Fergus to do the same, which he did, intentionally stepping into Ade’s space. It set him on edge.
Fergus gave him a sad smile. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
It was so difficult to play tough, but Ade had to. He couldn’t let Fergus’s long-awaited apology get to him because it was just more lies. Or maybe…it wasn’t. “Me too.”
“So it’s really over for good?”
Ade nodded. “Yes.”
In a flash, Fergus switched from humble to furious, shoving Ade hard with a palm against his chest. Ade staggered, his back slamming into the wall. He panicked and lifted his arms to push Fergus away, but Fergus grabbed his wrists and twisted.
“Get off me!” Ade hissed.
“Not until you’ve heard what I have to say.” Fergus stopped twisting, but kept his grip tight, waiting for Ade to stop struggling. “Are you ready?”
“Let go.”
Fergus gave Ade a pitying look.
“Or I’ll scream.”
“Scream away. If anyone hears, I’ll just tell them you like it rough. Because you do, you filthy slut.” Fergus released one of Ade’s hands and grabbed his face, pushing his fingers into the flesh as if it were dough.
“Last chance,” Ade squeezed out. Fergus’s hand slid down, and he pressed his thumb to Ade’s Adam’s apple. It was impossible to swallow, and as Ade drew in the breath, preparing to follow through with the scream, there was another knock on the door, followed by Mary’s voice.
“Ade? Are you in there, lovey?”
30: Boyfriend
Ade
“For fuck’s sake,” Fergus muttered darkly. A mania flashed across his face, which was quickly checked, but Ade had seen it, and it terrified him. Fergus leaned in and stared into his eyes at close quarters, a warning not to raise the alarm. He let go of Ade and moved towards the door.
“Don’t!” Ade warned. He followed Fergus along the hallway, in no rush to stop him, yet at the same time dreading what came next. There was only one way that he would get Fergus out of the apartment, or only one where Ade also got out alive, and even then there were no guarantees. For now, it was safer if Fergus believed Ade was on his side, and so he stopped him from opening the door. “She’ll call the police.”
Fergus clenched his fists and turned back. “So? What are they going to do? We’re just having a wee chat, aren’t we?”
“Yes, but…” Ade was starting to wonder himself. Whatwouldthe police do? He was still waiting for a court date for the restraining order, and while that was officially on record, they’d been through this a dozen times before and Ade had always refused to press charges. Even if Mary did call them, they might decide it wasn’t worth following up, but maybe he could persuade Fergus to leave before it came to that.
Persuade him to leave and never return?Unlikely, not the way he was acting, with that crazed emptiness in his eyes. Behind the brave façade, Ade was a shivering, frightened mess, and it was taking all of his willpower and concentration to keep at the forefront of his mind that Kris was waiting for him.
“Tell Mary all’s well,” Fergus said.
It took a few seconds for the words to filter through. Ade stared at him in bewilderment. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”
Fergus shook his head, his face fixed in a tight-lipped, arrogant sneer as he used his body to steer Ade, until he was once again pinned to the wall. “We’re not done here.”
“I am,” Ade asserted bravely. If this was the end, he was going down fighting. A shadow forewarned of the blow and Ade braced himself.
“Damn you, Adrian. You make me so fucking mad.” Fergus flexed the fingers of the fist that had put a dent in the wall millimetres from Ade’s left cheek.
“No. You make yourself mad and try to blame me. That’s how it’s always been. That’s why we’re over. This rage that you direct at me—it was never meant for me, yet you choose to try to destroy me rather than face the truth. We’re finished for good, Ferg, and I truly am sorry. But it doesn’t change the fact that you need help so you can deal with whatever happened to turn you into this.”
“Don’t you dare blame me,” Fergus snarled. He reinstated his grip on Ade’s wrists. “I was never good enough for you. Everything I wanted, you threw back in my face, but you still made your demands.”
“What are you talking about?” Ade’s eyes were watering from resisting the urge to cry out at the pain in his wrists. It felt like his hands were going to burst.