Page 47 of Snow Storm

Claude bowed his head and held his breath until his lungs burned. He let all the air out with a slow hiss, then met Harley’s gaze. “I don’t want this to be over after Christmas ends and the snow clears. I don’t know how to make this work. You live so far, and I can’t leave here, but?—”

“Well, it’s not like I have a job that I need to clock in for,” Harley said quietly.

Claude frowned at him.

“I’m a writer. I can do that pretty much anywhere. You’d be amazed at the places I’ve finished book endings.”

Claude felt a honey-thick surge of affection roll through him. He smiled. “Where?”

Harley’s cheeks pinked. “Once in a men’s toilet. I was struck by this idea I couldn’t let go of, so I locked myself in a stall. The smell was overwhelmingly disgusting. One guy came in and took the nastiest shit. I was writing a love scene epilogue.”

Claude burst into laughter. “Is that so?”

Harley nodded, grinning. He held Claude a little tighter. “I’ve never told anyone that story before.”

Claude kissed him for that. “Where else?”

“Uh…my old tree house. My dad had it built for me when I was younger because I used to get overwhelmed by a lot of noise in the house. One night when I was visiting him, I was feeling worked up, so I took my laptop up there and finished the ending to my fourth novel.” Harley’s tone turned softer. Maybe sadder. “My dad found me in there the next morning. He saw my hand sticking out through the little door and thought I was dead.”

Claude’s smile widened. “I’m sure he was relieved.”

Harley snorted. “He was relieved, then pissed, then relieved again. I wrote a dedication to him and the tree house in that book.”

“I’d like to see that someday.”

Harley laid his slightly parted mouth against Claude’s jaw and held it there. “I can do that,” he eventually murmured. Harley sighed and nestled all the way against Claude, his ear against his chest. “I feel like if I can write in a bathroom stall and a tree house, I can write near a luxury resort with its own spa and my sexy lumberjack mountain man who spoils me with attention whenever we’re within arm’s reach. Maybe a little house in town not too far from the property, you know?”

Claude felt something creep up his spine. It was a strange emotion—like a mixture of fear, anticipation, joy, andhope. “Is this wrong? To talk about something like this after only knowing you for a few days?”

Harley shrugged. “I think it’s risky. My neurotic tendencies could get really annoying after a while. Or too much.”

“And the reality of my body might be too heavy for you once you see how it is being with me day-to-day.”

Harley took Claude’s hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing his knuckles. “Maybe, but I doubt that.”

“And I doubt you’ll ever be too much,” Claude told him. He took his hand back and tipped Harley’s chin up. “But I suppose all we can do is decide if the risk is worth it.”

“I don’t know. I want to say yes. I never felt like this with Darren. Not once. He never made me feel like I was worth loving. Just that I was lucky that someone was willing to put up with me in spite of how difficult I am.”

Claude felt honest hate bubbling in his gut, and he had to swallow it down. “He was wrong.”

“Maybe.”

“I might not know you as well as I’d like yet, mon âme, but I can tell you that everyone is not only worthy of being loved for who they are, but there are people out there who can and will give that to them. I’d like to try being that man for you.”

Harley was quiet for a long time. “Do you trust me?”

“Trust you…?”

“That I’m going to tell you the truth? That I mean what I say when the reality of your body isn’t too heavy?”

That was the question of the hour. Claude was happy with who he was, but his ex had done a number on his belief that his own self-love could be matched by someone else’s love for him. That his body would be good enough as is.

So far, Harley hadn’t seemed put out by anything Claude did or anything he needed. But that could change.

“I want to try,” Claude said eventually. “I don’t know how it’s going to work, but I don’t want to give up.”

Harley looked up at him through thick lashes. “Then, if you can give that trust to me, I can give my trust to you. We’ll never be able to see the future, but I think we’re both logical and experienced enough to know when it’s worth the risk.”

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