Page 37 of Fighting for Lucy

Over anything.

Not just her limbs which jerked about, but her bladder and her bowels as well.

For the rest of her life, she would never forget what it was like to be a six-year-old having a seizure in the classroom, the cries and screams of her peers as she slowly woke up again, only to then smell it.

Poop.

The unmistakable stench of poo.

It had been humiliating, and she’d begged her parents not to make her go back to school afterward. But her mom had insistedthat any kid who would tease her and call her poopyhead because she had a medical condition was not someone she should want to be friends with anyway.

Not untrue, but people wanted to fit in. Never more than when you were a first grader just starting out in what was going to be a long journey through school, and all you wanted was to be like the other kids, have friends, and be included in the games.

Over the years, there had been a couple of other times when she’d had a seizure in a public place. Once in a grocery store, which she’d never gone back to afterward, choosing to travel another ten minutes in the other direction to go to a different one. Once in college, where at least her peers had been respectful about what had happened, although she’d noticed afterward none of them could quite look her in the eye again.

Lucky for her, stubborn was her middle name. Her desire to prove to herself and everybody around her that she could still live a full and active life was all that had prevented her from becoming a recluse.

That, and the people she had surrounding her now.

In the years that she had been at Prey, she’d had a couple of seizures, one where everything inside her had come right on out, but the way her team and the guys had responded was everything she’d always needed. They didn't coddle or embarrass her, and they didn't treat her any differently afterward.

Their reactions had actually made her strong, practical, tough girl persona crack, and a flood of tears rush out.

Of all the times she could have lost control of either her bladder or bowels during a seizure, this one time seemed like it would be the worst. Zander was a man she was attracted to. On a deeper level than appreciating his smoking hot body. Lucy had no idea what that meant, if there was any sort of future for them, or what Zander’s plans were after he finished his op.

None of it mattered, that connection was there, and she didn't want to humiliate herself in front of him. Didn't want him to be like so many others who treated her differently because of her epilepsy.

A hand smoothed down her back, then settled on her hip, tucking her closer against the big body she was draped over. “No, babe, you didn't.”

“Did I … poo?” she asked, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as tears of frustration and mortification burned.

“No, baby.”

A sigh of relief had her sinking deeper into Zander’s embrace. “Good.”

“Not sure I agree with you there, sassy girl.”

“Huh?” She lifted her head to look up at Zander’s strong jaw and deep brown eyes. “Why would it not be a good thing?”

“Because it means you're dehydrated and starving. Think you can eat something?” he asked as he held up a canteen to her lips.

After swallowing several mouthfuls, Lucy was about to shake her head. It seemed she’d moved beyond the hungry stage and well into the too nauseous to think about food stage instead. But then she thought better of it. Her body was in dire need of fuel, and they weren't somewhere safe where she could wait until she felt better before eating.

“Yeah, I can eat.” When she took the offered protein bar and her fingers fumbled to open the wrapper, Zander took it back, opened it for her, then held it to her lips. Warmth spread throughout her as she took a bite. He was taking care of her, and it was so sweet. When her parents tried to take care of her it always made her feel helpless, but with Zander it just made her feel all gooey and soft inside like a chocolate chip cookie straight out of the oven.

For a few minutes they just sat in silence, him feeding her a protein bar, and then another when she finished it, her just soaking up the feel of the muscled arms around her.

Here like this, even with the threat of Raul and his men, Lucy felt safe and protected. Zander might have made choices she didn't have all the information to understand yet, but he was a good man and she could see that those choices had hurt him.

“You took the contacts out,” she said, cupping his jaw and trailing her fingertips through the stubble.

“I thought …” Zander hesitated looking unsure, and her heart swelled with more emotions than she could name.

“Thought what?”

“That maybe you liked my real eyes better,” he finished, sounding completely unsure of himself.

A small smile curled her lips up. “I do. With the blue eyes you just don’t look like … you.”

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