Page 43 of Fighting for Lucy

His pace was fast, near frantic, and Lucy wrapped her legs around his hips, drawing him deeper, and her arms around his shoulders, holding on as he slammed into her over and over again. Once again, his hand moved to her bundle of nerves, working it hard, giving her exactly what she needed.

She was flying up that ladder, the pressure inside her growing, it consumed every single part of her body, her heart, her mind, and her soul. Tying them all together in a knot she didn't even want to untangle. Drawing in Zander’s soul as well, binding it to hers in a way that could never be completely undone.

When she finally reached the top of that ladder and tumbled off it, pleasure so strong that her cries would have woken the whole jungle if Zander’s mouth hadn't claimed hers again, rushed through her.

The feel of Zander hitting his own release, feeling the evidence of it squirting inside her, was an almost magical experience. Lucy felt claimed, marked, and she wondered if he felt that, too.

Would he be able to walk away from her after this?

Would she be able to let him?

January 25th

1:10 A.M.

Being inside her felt perfect.

Zander wanted to hold onto this moment and never let it go.

Here he felt peace, a lightness that he hadn't felt in eighteen months. Sex with Lucy didn't mean everything was going to be okay, it didn't solve his problems, erase the darkness inside him, or mean he could have a future with this amazing woman. But it did mean that for one blissful second, everything inside him had stilled and he’d been able to live in the moment.

It should have been a mistake because walking away from her would be hard, and he wasn’t sure he could or even wanted to, but he couldn’t make himself see this as anything other than the perfect joining together of their bodies. Two halves of a soul reconnecting in a way that would forever be something special no matter what the future held.

If she hadn't uttered the most content little sigh and nuzzled her face against the side of his neck, Zander would have been tempted to ask her if she regretted sex with him. If it had been a spur-of-the-moment decision based on the adrenalin rush of their situation, or the lingering effects of the drug.

But it wasn’t.

He felt her pleading with him even though she didn't speak.

Her words echoed in his mind. Asking him to let her be there for him.

Could he do that?

Was it fair to do that?

Surely, saddling her with the darkness that consumed him, the anger and guilt that ate at him constantly, wasn’t fair.

Yet she said it after she knew the truth, knew about the stains on his soul. She knew that he’d gotten seven good men killed and yet she was still there, still wanted him, still let him take her without the barrier of a condom between them.

What had he ever done to deserve a woman like this?

Nothing.

That was the answer to that question.

Reluctantly he shifted, sliding out of her, and lowering her to her feet. Her arms lingered around his shoulders for a moment before she let go and stiffened her back, prepared to let him go if that was what he wanted.

But it wasn’t.

Not at all.

What he wanted was to hold onto this woman forever. But he was scared. It sucked to admit it, made him feel weak like a coward, but the last thing he wanted to do was cause Lucy pain.

Would she see it that way? Or would she think his pushing her away was because he didn't want her?

“Thank you for giving me that, baby,” he said as he knelt and rifled through his pack for the wipes he kept in the first aid kit. Taking them, he began to clean up the evidence of what they’d just done. Wiping his cum off her legs almost felt like erasing their connection, but then Lucy’s hands rested on his shoulders and that connection surged again.

“Don’t thank me, Zander. I wanted that, too. I needed it. This thing between us is confusing, I've never felt anything like it before. I don’t want to play games, that’s not my style, I'd like for you to give us a chance, but if you're not ready yet, then I can wait.”

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